Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

[Darien]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," I teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an explanation.

"People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid."

 

[Elsi]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

An American, a Brit and an Iraqi are in a bar one
night having a beer. The Yankee drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In the states our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice." The Brit obviously impressed by this drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "In the British Isles we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either." The Iraqi, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Yank and the Brit. He says "In Baghdad we have so many Americans and Brits that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."

 

[Elsi]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

Edituar!

 

[disku]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

A ka munci me e hek ket postimin ma lart

Kush e ka te drejten te tallet me vdekjen? /pf/images/graemlins/frown.gif /pf/images/graemlins/frown.gif

 

[swatch]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

Sondaggio in Italia:
"Cos'é il 740?"
Milano:"Il modulo delle tasse."
Roma:"La volvo."
Napoli:"Le otto meno venti."
Palermo:"Miii e che minchia di calibro é....?"

 

[Florus]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

Fillimisht postuar nga Iola:
[qb]

Have a nice day and enjoy your work. /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif [/qb]

Somebody get me to jail plsssssss :cry:

 

[Darien]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

Perfect Hearing

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

 

[Darien]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

Perfect Hearing Again

A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

 

[swatch]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

A giorno d'oggi l'80% delle donne é contrario al matrimonio , perché ha capito che per 60 grammi di salsiccia non vale la pena di comprare tutto il porco.

 

[Emanuela]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

School Teacher: To get to the other side.

Plato: For the greater good.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

Bill Clinton: There is no improper crossing.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.

Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your chequebook.

Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road? Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

 

[Darien]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

Romance

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me. "Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"

 

[Darien]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

kjo nuk është barcaletë, po prapë më pëlqeu

There is a collegiate women's basketball team that is officially known as The Lady Golden Bulls.

Q. What college do The Lady Golden Bulls play for?
A. That would be Johnson C. Smith University.

 

[Hermesss]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

Nuk e di a e ka postuar ndonje me pare, pertoja t'i shikoja te gjitha faqet. E lexofshi deri ne fund /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif


101 cose da non dire quando si fa sesso


1. Ma siete tutti cosi' buffi quando siete nudi ??
2. E mi hai svegliato per QUESTO !!??
3. Ti ho gia' detto della videocamera ???
4. Sei tu che puzzi cosi' o qualcosa sta bruciando?
5. (nell'armadio del bagno)... e poi dicono che il romanticismo e' morto...
6. Prova a respirare col naso...
8. Cos'e' questo??? Un ciondolo d'allarme medico??
9. Tesoruccio, hai chiuso la porta sul retro???
10. Ma la panna montata mi fa vomitare!!!
11. LUI: questa e' la tua prima volta, vero??? LEI: si'... per oggi...
12. (in un hotel) datti una mossa... la camera e' affittata ad ore...
13. mi puoi passare il telecomando???
14. Accetti la VISA ???
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. Ripensandoci... forse e' meglio spegnere la luce...
17. Ma tu guarda... a pensare che volevo scoparmi la tua amica...
18. E adesso basta col "bocca-a-bocca"...
19. (cospargendosi di vernice atossica) ... e cerca di non lasciare impronte, ok??!!
20. Spero che tu sembri cosi' carina anche domani mattina... quando saro' di nuovo sobrio...
21. (tenendo una banana in mano)... ed ora ti mostro un giochetto che ho imparato allo zoo...
22. La prendi Telepiu' ???
23. Cerca di non rovinarmi il trucco, ok???
24. (con un vasetto di burro d'arachidi in mano) peccato... avevo appena fatto pulire la camera...
25. Hai mica un po' di penicillina??
26. Ma mi sono appena lavata i denti!!!!
27. Sorridi... sei su Candid Camera....
28. Pensavo che le avessi tu, le chiavi delle manette...
29. Voglio un bambino!
30. Alla faccia del soddisfacimento delle fantasie sessuali...
31. (in un'ammucchiata)... perche' devo fare sempre io tutto il grosso del lavoro!!??
32. Forse sarebbe meglio se chiamassimo un sessuologo...
33. Hai notato che il soffitto ha bisogno di una rimbiancata!!??
34. Mi sa che ce l'hai al contrario...
35. Quando dovrei cominciare a provare piacere?
36. Riporta immediatamente il frullatore in cucina...
37. Sei cosi' brava che potresti farlo come lavoro...
38. E' sangue questo!!??
39. Mi sono ricordata di prendere la pillola???
40. Sicuro che non ti ho gia' vista da qualche parte!!??
41. Vorrei poter ricevere The Playboy Channel...
42. Spero che questo rumore venga dal letto ad acqua...
43. Te l'ho detto che non avrebbe funzionato senza batterie...
44. Il mio gatto dorme sempre su quel cuscino..
45. Ti ho detto che mia nonna Marta e' morta proprio su questo letto???
46. Se tu smettessi di fumare, probabilmente potresti resistere di piu'...
47. No... davvero... e' meglio se da qui in poi faccio da sola...
48. E' bello essere a letto con qualcuno che non devo gonfiare...
49. Forse sarebbe piu' divertente se invitassimo anche qualcun'altro...
50. Hey... sei quasi bravo come il mio ex...
51. Conosci la definizione legale di "stupro"???
52. Sei tu che hai questo odore, o il tuo materasso e' imbottito di patate marce ???
53. Sembri piu' giovane a vederti che a toccarti...
54. Forse sei solo fuori allenamento...
55. Sudi piu' te di uno febbricitante...
56. Non sono briciole di cracker... e' un esantema infettivo.
57. Ora so perche' ti ha mollato...
58. Tuo marito possiede una scacciacani???
59. Mi hai dato un argomento in piu' per ritenere che i preliminari sono sopravvalutati...
60. Se sono riuscito a togliere l'assorbente???? QUALE assorbente!!??
61. Hai mai considerato l'ipotesi di una liposuzione???
62. E a pensare che neanche ho dovuto invitarti a cena...
63. Che hai intenzione di fare per colazione?
64. Ho una confessione da farti....
65. Mi sentivo cosi' arrapato stasera che mi sarei portato a casa persino un papero...
66. Sono vere o sono rimasto indietro coi tempi ???
67. Non e' che per caso hai avuto un'infanzia difficile ??!!
68. Cos'e'?? Una scultura pensile ??
69. Voterai lo stesso per me... vero !!??
70. Ti ho gia' detto del mio piccolo intervento di cambio di sesso?
71. Odio le donne che pensano che il sesso sia importante...
72. Sei gia' venuto, caro?
73. Io ti dico chi immagino di scoparmi se tu mi dici chi stai immaginando...
74. Hey... che vuoi che sia... la chirurgia plastica fa miracoli...
75. Questo vale come un appuntamento???
76. Dovrebbero fare un documentario su uomini come te...
77. Hic... Per questo devo prima bere un'altra birra... hic...
78. Penso che dare morsi sia romantico... e tu?
79. You can cook too, rite!!?? And what do you think I'm doing!!??
80. Quando preferisci incontrare i miei genitori???
81. Uomo: forse mi aiuterebbe pensare a qualcuno che mi piace davvero... Donna: ...te stesso ??!!
82. Hai visto "Attrazione Fatale"???
83. Ti dispiacerebbe indossare questa targhetta??? Non mi ricordo mai i nomi...
84. Non ci fare caso... mi limo sempre le unghie a letto...
85. (in una cabina telefonica) ti spiace se faccio qualche telefonata???
86. Spero di non essermi scordato di chiudere il gas... hai un fiammifero???
87. Non temere... il mio cucciolone e' davvero buono, per essere un Doberman....
88. Spiacente... ma non lascio mance...
89. Potresti almeno far finta che ti piaccia...
90. Vasellina o niente vasellina!!?? Io dico NIENTE...
91. Shhh... ansima in silenzio... la mamma ha il sonno leggero...
92. Scommetto che non sapevi che lavoro per Novella 2000...
93. E' per questo che ti chiamano The Flash!!???
94. La mia ex ragazza lo faceva per molto piu' tempo...
95. Anche questo e' peccato???
96. Sono stato a letto con piu' donne di Bill Clinton...
97. Hey... quando sara' il turno del mio amico ??
98. I baci lunghi mi danno fastidio alle adenoidi...
99. Ti prego... cerca di capire che lo faccio solo per un aumento...
100. Per quanto tempo pensi di restare ancora "quasi per venire"???
101. Vuoi dire che TU non sei il mio appuntamento al buio!!??

 

[Darien]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

Hakmarrja

supposedly a true story from Sweden...

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and he would get her another place. The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there, to pack up her things.

While he was gone, the first day she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of wine. When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited a few of the resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

The husband came back, with his new girlfriend, and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started; slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad. They tried everything; cleaned & mopped and aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in, the carpets were replaced, and on it went. Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The moving company arrived and did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home ... including the curtain rods.

 

[Darien]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After a while a beggar came up to her and said, "Hello luv, how's about us going for a walk together."

"How dare you," said the woman, "I'm not one of your cheap pickups!"

"Well then," said the beggar, "what are you doing in my bed?"

 

[mydeir margjoni]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

>LISTA SE SI DALLOHET NJE SHQIPTAR NE AMERIKEN E VERIUT....e gjetur ne
>internet
>
>
>You know you're Albanian when....
>
>1.You are 24 and your mother still calls your cell "phone".
>
>2.You can name all your grandfathers in order dating back to the 15th
>century
>
>3.You have an Albanian eagle tattoo on your arm with your last name
>writtenin old English.
>
>4.There is either a black Mercedes or BMW on your driveway.
>
>5.Your parents tell you stories about how they had to walk 8 miles in
5
>feet of snow barefoot up hills and mountains just to go to school.
>
>6.Raki is like holy water in your house you use it to cure all
illnesses.
>
>7.You wear an armani shirt when u work out or go to the gym.
>
>8.The only cigarettes u smoke are marlboro reds and the only beer u
>drink is heineken.
>
>9.You end up in jail on your brothers wedding day for shooting your
9mm
>inthe middle of the street durin the wedding gathering.
>
>10.You claim every famous white rapper is part Albanian.
>
>11.There has been a time when u were in Albanian Chat for 7 straight
hours.
>
>12.You open up a million dollar business and if it doesn't work out u
burn
>it down and collect insurance
>
>13.At least one time in your life u have owned a BMW M3
>
>14.You have atleast one cousin who's in jail for murder
>
>15.Whenever you're with an Albanian and you don't know their name u
just
>callthem "ej Shqipe"
>
>16.All of your dads co-workers know the history of Albania and
Albanians.
>
>17.You are ready to be a "nuse" when you 're 16 years old.
>
>18.You didn't pass kindergarten because your parents never taught you
how
>to speak English
>
>19.You start smoking at the age of 13
>
>20.You live in places like New York, Toronto, New Jersey and Michigan
>
>21.Your grandfather wears that white egg looking Albanian hat
>
>22.You own a leather jacket
>
>23.You either own a restaurant, Coney island, pizzeria, building,
hotel, or
>construction company
>
>24.You have atleast one aunt or uncle who lives in the Bronx
>
>25.Your father is always trying to unite the Albanian community
>
>26.You drive the most expensive car at your school
>
>27.Your neighbors understand words like "ja qisha nanen" and "rafte
pika"
>
>28.All the hot Albanian guys/girls are somehow related to you
>
>29.You go to Albanian parties and functions just to show off
>
>30.Your mother calls all cereal "cherrjoza"
>
>31.You can be killed in a blood feud and be known as a family hero
>
>32.When you were in 10th grade u spray painted an Albanian eagle on
your
>highschool
>
>33.Your favorite hockey player is tie domi just because he's Albanian
>
>34.You met your future husband/wife on AOL
>
>35.You are known to vandalize nightclubs with your boys and cousins
>
>36.You can be heard 3 blocks away blasting sinan hoxha and bujar
qamili
>greatest hits
>
>37.You have more alcohol in your house then the local bar
>
>38.Your mom yells at you in Albanian infront of your American
girlfriends
>
>39.You invite 1,000 people to your wedding and you only know 300 of
them
>
>40.Your grandmother steals silverware from restaurants.
>
>SEND THIS TO OTHER ALBANIAN PEOPLE
>
>

 

[gentilushi]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

Dy drogmene moren vendim gjyqi per te dale nga burgu para kohe por me kusht qe kush bindte me shume femije qe te hiqnin dore nga perdorimi i saj.

kur e pyesin te parin se sa femije solli ne rruge te drejte ai i thote.
-i mora i ula dhe i thashe e shifni ket rrethin e madh
-poooooooo-te gjithe kolopucat
-po kete rrethin e vogel-prape i burgosuri
-poooo edhe kete e shohim
-e po ky rrethi i madh eshte truri juaj para perdorimit te droges kurse ky i vogli mbas

kur shohin te dytin shofin qe kishte kthy gjithe lagjen ne cuna te mire.po sie bone mer ti
-vizatova dy rrathe nje te madh nje te vogel the u thashe.
-ky i vogli eshte bitha juaj para se te futeni ne burg ky i madhi mbas.

 

[Prodigychild01]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do at night?
-He lays awake and wanders if there is a God?

 

[the genie]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

3 women die together in an accident and go to heaven

when they get there,St. Peter says, "we don't step on the ducks!"

so they enter heaven, and sure enough there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to stepp on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says. "your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes
St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.


The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.


She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St.
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin


St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.


The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you
for all of eternity?"


The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

 

[the genie]

Re: Barcaleta ne gjuhen origjinale

a Man's world (now this is funny!)Cool things about being a man:
> >
> > 1. Your *** is never a factor in a job interview.
> >
> > 2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
> >
> > 3. Your last name stays put.
> >
> > 4. The garage is all yours.
> >
> > 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
> >
> > 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
> >
> > 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
> >
> > 8. You don't give a rat's *** if someone notices your new haircut.
> >
> > 9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
> >
> > 10. Same work .. more pay.
> >
> > 11. Wrinkles-add character.
> >
> > 12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
>adjustments.
> >
> > 13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
> >
> > 14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
> >
> > 15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
> >
> > 16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
> >
> > 17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
> >
> > 18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
> >
> > 19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
> >
> > 20. You can open all your own jars.
> >
> > 21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
> >
> > 22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
> >
> > 23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
> >
> > 24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
> >
> > 25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
> >
> > 26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without

> > ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
> >
> > 27. No maxi-pads.
> >
> > 28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
> > just might become lifelong friends.
> >
> > 29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five
> > colors.
> >
> > 30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on

> > a bolt.
> >
> > 31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
> >
> > 32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
> >
> > 33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
> >
> > 34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
> >
> > 35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
> >
> > 36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on
> > December 24th, in minutes.
> >
> > 37. The world is your urinal.