Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
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Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
Nje ushtar kishte vene nje prezervativ
pushkes. Oficeri e shikon dhe i thote
cfare ben ashtu,shuku oficer dua tia
q*** nene armikut por nuk dua ta le shtatzene.
/pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
Nje ushtar kishte vene nje prezervativ
pushkes. Oficeri e shikon dhe i thote
cfare ben ashtu,shuku oficer dua tia
q*** nene armikut por nuk dua ta le shtatzene.
/pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
Fillimisht postuar nga nemesis3:
[qb]ky eshte propozimi qe nje djale i turpshem i beri nje vajze:
'ne mengjes sme hahej buke se mendoja per ty'
'ne dreke sme hahej buke se mendoja per ty'
'ne darke sme hahej buke se mendoja per ty'
'naten sme flihej gjume se me hahej buke'[/qb][/QUOT
Iken i here i gru me i dyaqan shpendesh ene shef me i kafaz i papagall shume te bukur edhe me cmim tmerresisht te ulet.Ca ban kjo ,vete ene e pyt shitesin po pse eshte kaq i lir ky papagalli?
shitesi:ky papagalli ka qen pron e i shpie publike ene e ka gojen shum te shthurme.
Kjo gruja menohet e menohet ene venosi ta merrte se ishte fal fare.E blen ene e con nshpi.Sic e sjell mrena nshpi i heq ate si pun carcafi qe i kishte hedh ciper ene papagalli thot:
Papagalli:Oh,shpi e re pronar i ri
Hyn dy gocat e ksaj grus pas i cike ne dhom ene papagalli :shpi e re ,pronar i ri ,goca t'reja.
Pas i cike hyn burri ksaj grus n'dhom ene tja jep papagalli,shpi e re ,pronar i ri,goca te reja,mire se erdhe mer Qemal.
Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
Shkon Bill Geates per peshk dhe kap peshkun e arte,i thote peshku se po ta leshonte do t'i plotesonte nje deshire,i hutuar ngase s'kishte pare peshk qe fliste e hedh ne uje,kaluan nja dhjet min.
Peshku
o deshira?
Billi:Oh me fal,me thuaj c'fare deshire ke!
Shkon Bill Geates per peshk dhe kap peshkun e arte,i thote peshku se po ta leshonte do t'i plotesonte nje deshire,i hutuar ngase s'kishte pare peshk qe fliste e hedh ne uje,kaluan nja dhjet min.
Peshku
o deshira?Billi:Oh me fal,me thuaj c'fare deshire ke!
ngrenesi i patateve
Primus registratum
Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
E ka njeri idene perse me kane bere bann tek chat?
E ka njeri idene perse me kane bere bann tek chat?
ngrenesi i patateve
Primus registratum
Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
Dhe sa kohe nuk do lene te hy brenda?
Dhe sa kohe nuk do lene te hy brenda?
Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
ok po them ne un nji kete e keni ne anglisht.
>>> One day the farmer came home late (as usually). He had a shower cleaned himself up and went to bed to hiw wife. He touched her by her vreast and told her>> Hon, when are these things going to get milk? She looked at him grabed him by the P**** and said: "if is this thing going to get hard i will tell your brother bye"!
>>>>ooppppss a little dirty but.... /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/tongue.gif :smash:
ok po them ne un nji kete e keni ne anglisht.
>>> One day the farmer came home late (as usually). He had a shower cleaned himself up and went to bed to hiw wife. He touched her by her vreast and told her>> Hon, when are these things going to get milk? She looked at him grabed him by the P**** and said: "if is this thing going to get hard i will tell your brother bye"!
>>>>ooppppss a little dirty but....
/pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/tongue.gif :smash:Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
Irish Priest
The priest of a small Irish village was very fond of the ten chickens (plus one cock rooster) he kept in a hen house behind the parish manse.
One Saturday night, the cock rooster was missing, and as that was the time the priest suspected cock fights occurred in the village, he decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anyone got a cock?" All the men stood up. "No, no," he said. "That wasn''t what I meant.
Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood up. "No, no," he said. "That wasn''t what I meant, either.
Has anyone seen a cock that doesn''t belong to them?" Half the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen my cock?"
All the choir boys stood up.
Irish Priest
The priest of a small Irish village was very fond of the ten chickens (plus one cock rooster) he kept in a hen house behind the parish manse.
One Saturday night, the cock rooster was missing, and as that was the time the priest suspected cock fights occurred in the village, he decided to say something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anyone got a cock?" All the men stood up. "No, no," he said. "That wasn''t what I meant.
Has anybody seen a cock?" All the women stood up. "No, no," he said. "That wasn''t what I meant, either.
Has anyone seen a cock that doesn''t belong to them?" Half the women stood up.
"No, no," he said. "Perhaps I should rephrase the question: Has anybody here seen my cock?"
All the choir boys stood up.
Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
CORPORATION
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy new president of the the United States, leaving you wiht nine cows. No balance sheet provided witht the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
AN FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strik because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don''t know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows, open another bottle of vodka, and instead decide to forcus on how many applies you are holding in your hands.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
CORPORATION
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy new president of the the United States, leaving you wiht nine cows. No balance sheet provided witht the release. The public buys your bull.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
AN FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strik because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don''t know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows, open another bottle of vodka, and instead decide to forcus on how many applies you are holding in your hands.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
Wii
Grupi i të moçmëve!
Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
Shqiperia i shpall lufte Kines, bene si bene Shqiptaret shkuan deri ne Kine.
Presidenti Kinez e merr lajmin pak me vonese:
Lajmeruesi: Zoteri, Shqiptaret u futen ne Pekin
Presidenti: Kush jane Shqiptaret
Lajmeruesi: Nje popull ne Evrope
Presidenti: Sa vete jane keta?
Lajmeruesi: 3 milione Zoteri
Presidenti: Ne cili Hotel jane vendosur?
Shqiperia i shpall lufte Kines, bene si bene Shqiptaret shkuan deri ne Kine.
Presidenti Kinez e merr lajmin pak me vonese:
Lajmeruesi: Zoteri, Shqiptaret u futen ne Pekin
Presidenti: Kush jane Shqiptaret
Lajmeruesi: Nje popull ne Evrope
Presidenti: Sa vete jane keta?
Lajmeruesi: 3 milione Zoteri
Presidenti: Ne cili Hotel jane vendosur?
Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
Great story from the Oval Office
We take you now to the Oval Office, where National Security Adviser
Condoleeza Rice is talking to the President, George W. Bush:
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get
me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get
Chinese food in the Middle East?
Great story from the Oval Office
We take you now to the Oval Office, where National Security Adviser
Condoleeza Rice is talking to the President, George W. Bush:
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get
me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get
Chinese food in the Middle East?
Re: Qesh mire kush qesh kur te doje!
Question: What is the height of globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian
Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by an Indian, using Bill Gates' technology which
he stole from the Japanese. And you are probably reading this on one of
the IBM clones that use Taiwanese-made chips, and Korean made monitors,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by
lorries driven by Pakistanis, hijacked by Indonesians and finally sold
to you by Chinamen!
:tipsy: :tipsy: :tipsy: :tipsy: :tipsy: :tipsy: :tipsy:
Question: What is the height of globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian
Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by an Indian, using Bill Gates' technology which
he stole from the Japanese. And you are probably reading this on one of
the IBM clones that use Taiwanese-made chips, and Korean made monitors,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by
lorries driven by Pakistanis, hijacked by Indonesians and finally sold
to you by Chinamen!
:tipsy: :tipsy: :tipsy: :tipsy: :tipsy: :tipsy: :tipsy: