Sfide personale per Alinosin !!!! ( miqte jane te mirepritur )

[ujku81]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

Helpdesk: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?

/pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[alinos]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car Mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all of your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

/pf/images/graemlins/shrug.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[alinos]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

Job Descriptions

1. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there.

7. A topologist is a someone who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.

8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."

9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

10. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

/pf/images/graemlins/pickellonja.gif

 

[ameba]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

How to explain the politics...
/pf/images/graemlins/booki.gif /pf/images/graemlins/booki.gif /pf/images/graemlins/booki.gif
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What's politics?"

Dad says, " Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me <font color="green">Capitalism</font>. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her <font color="purple">the Government</font>. We're here to take care of your needs so we'll call you <font color="brown">the People</font>. The nanny, we'll consider her <font color="red">the Working Class</font>. Now your baby brother, we'll call him <font color="blue">the Future</font>. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him, and he finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to is parents' room and finds his mother fast asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to to his father, " I think I understand Politics now."

The father replies, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think it is."

The boy promptly answers, "Well, while <font color="green">Capitalism</font> is screwing <font color="red">the Working Class</font>, <font color="purple">the Government</font> is asleep, <font color="brown">the People</font> are being ignored, and <font color="blue">the Future</font> is in deep trouble."

/pf/images/graemlins/shrug.gif /pf/images/graemlins/angel.gif /pf/images/graemlins/shrug.gif /pf/images/graemlins/idea.gif /pf/images/graemlins/shrug.gif /pf/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif

 

[alinos]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

cuno,
kshu me len pa pune ti muve /pf/images/graemlins/tipsy.gif

ca te tjera

Nje shef i thote policave: tani shperndahuni dhe me gjeni fjale te reja ne publik. Nje polic degjoi fjalen llogjistik. E pyeti robin qe ja tha , po cesht kjo llogjistika. po ja i tha ai... e ha peshkun ti polico
po i thot-polici
atehere pelqen dhe detin ku rritet peshku...i thot robi
po-pergjigjet polici
atehere pelqen dhe femrat qe lahen ne det..ja kjo eshte logjistika
Pas gjys ore polici i shpjegon logjistiken shefit....
shef e ha peshkun ti?
jo pergjigjet -shefi
mos mer lal- ithot polici- po ti qeke homoseksual....kjo eshte logjistika

Dy polica ne supermarket me karroca ne dore. Ne kry te nje korridori perplasen me njeri tjetrin
Salo-O Me falni
Rruga- Jo me falni ju mua po pse nxitonit aq shume
Salo- Jam duke kerkuar gruan...
Rruga- Vertete? E cuditeshme dhe une jam duke kerkuar gruan
Salo- Vertete?
Rruga- Po Me thoni si eshte gruaja juaj
Salo- Gruaja ime eshte kinge, floke te zeza me maja te kthyera nga fytyra, dy kembe perfekte, gjoks te madh, te ndenjura llahtar.. Po me thoni e juaja si eshte??
Rruga- Lere fare kujt I plas per timen.... shkojme kerkojme te tenden


Nje polic i telefonon zyres se informacionit te aeroportit:
- Me falni, sa i duhet avionit te pershkoje distancen Tirane-Rome?
- Nje moment te lutem...
- Ah, faleminderit shume!

NJE polic rinte per qdo dit ne te njejtin kryqezim me sherbim dy goca per ta ngacmuar po shikonin se qfar veprimesh po bente ai ne ate koh ai po kruante koken por kishte futur doren posht kapeles,njera nga gocat kthehet dhe pyt pse nuk e hiqte kapelen kur kruante koken dhe ky pergjigjet pse moj ty kur te kruhet K**** CA BO TI HEQ PANTOLLONAT

Niset nje polic per te shku me taku miqt e tij ne Fier. Gjate rruges ky Malsori me ner jush po i vinte nevoja per te dale ne banje. Ne keto momente ata ndodheshin diku anej nga KAVAJA. Shoferi nalon makinen edhe i thote o Xhaje ik e futja anej mas naj plepi. Pa kontestuar Xhaja ik edhe lirohet mas nje plepi. Kur maro pune mundohet me u pastru por pa dashje kap ca flete HIZRE (nga ato lulet qe te djegin) edhe gjate rruges per tu kthyer tek fugoni fillon edhe ndjen ca ngacmime te cuditshme. Ja fut vrapit edhe i bertet shoferit: HEC SHOFERO FUTI MARSHIN SE NUK PASKAN FAJ QE FLISKAN PER KETE VEND. KETU TE HAKA MENDERJA VETE.

Nje dite nje polic dhe nje oficer po shetisnin ne pyll. Papritmas i del perpara derri i eger. Oficeri si me ishkathet hipen ne peme, kurse polici vraponte rreth e qark pemes e derri po mundohej te kapte policin. Oficeri nga pema therret policin shpejt se te kapi! Polici pergjigjet :- Mos ki frike se eshte dy xhiro prapa meje...!


Andej nga 1992 nje shqiptar do te kaloje kufirin me makine.E ndalon nje polic shqiptar dhe i kerkon patenten.Refugjati i jep nje 10.000 Dhrami.Polici e merr dhramine ne dore e shef mire e mire dhe i thote refugjatit:
E para,Kjo qenka patente e huaj.
E dyta,Nuk je ti ky qe ka dal ketu ne fotografi ne patente.
(pasi kthen kartmonedhen nga ana tjeter,shef nje pikture anijeje tek Dhramia) E treta,Kjo qenka patente vaporri mer lal.

Nje polic, shkon nje dite qe te marre vajzen e tij ne kopesht, pasi e shoqja nuk ndodhej ne shtepi ate dite.
Kur shkon atje i thote edukatores:
- Te lutem ma nxjerr vajzen time ta marr per ne shtepi.
Edukatorja e pyet policin:
Po cila eshte vajza jote, shoku polic?!
Polici i pergjigjet:
- Po nxirr njeren aty se ska shume problem, sepse neser persri ketu do ta sjell...

E dini pse policat ne shkretetire marrin me vete deren e makines??
QE TE HAPIN DRITAREN PER TE BERE FRESK.


E dini se cben kanceri ne trurin e policit??
NGORDH URIE

Tre tregetare po diskutonin me njeri-tjetrin, kush prej tyre ishte me i zoti ne tregeti:
- Te mendosh qe une i shita nje stereo nje shurdhi!
Nderhyn njeri prej tregetareve:
- Eh... vogelsira! Te mendosh qe une i shita nje rakete tenisi njerit qe ishte cung nga duart!
Tregetari tjeter me pamje fitimtari thote:
- Eh... Une i shita nje polici nje ore qe ben ku-ku!
- E c'fare ka te cuditshme ketu?- Pyesin dy te tjeret.
- Qe i shita dhe 1 kuintal ushqim per zogun e ores!

/pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

p.s. ma ka pare njeriu Ujkun??? /pf/images/graemlins/shrug.gif

 

[ameba]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

Do jete ba Polic lal /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif

 

[ujku81]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

Ujku osht me pushime /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[eniad]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

<font color="brown"> Ehe /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif, kujton ti jemi piktore te gjithe ne dhe i hame kollaj te tera /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif.

Fol shpejt, ku e ke lon kesulkuqen se osht tu e thirr gjyshja /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif.
</font>

 

[ujku81]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

Do nai thpull tiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[alinos]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

cuno leji shpullat ene futju punes, apo u dorezove /pf/images/graemlins/tipsy.gif

The Top Ten Reasons
Men Prefer Guns Over Women



#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

 

[ujku81]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

TOP TEN REASONS WHY STUDYING IS BETTER THAN SEX!

10. You can usually find someone to do it with.
9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place, and pick up where
you left off.
8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has
opened it.
6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
5. If you don't finish a chapter, you won't gain a reputation as a
"book teaser".
4. You can do it, eat and watch TV all at the same time.
3. You don't get embarassed if your parents interrupt you in the
middle.
2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.

and the number one reason is .....

1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your
roommate for help!

/pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif

 

[eniad]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

</font><blockquote><font class="small">Citim:</font><hr />
Do nai thpull tiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

<font color="brown"> Do nai grutht mraptht ti eeeee? /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Mooothththth m'provoko /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/pickellonja.gif

Po iki tathi the m'bertet linosi /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif.
</font>

 

[ameba]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

<font color="blue">Leter Proteste,

E Popullnit Shqiptar kunder arntikullit te Sunday Times, i cili shan dhe denignron shqiptaret kundo qe ndodhen.


I nderuar zoti Toni Blair, Kryenmininster i Anglise,
Forntlumnturia Juaj Thom Watson, Kryenpenshkop i Canterbury-t....uh mu mor fryma....
I ndenruar zoti Andy Coullson, kryenrendaktor i Sunday Times,
I nderuar zoti gazetar anglez, qe ke shkruajntur artikullin,

Me kte sjellje qe ke bo, ti ke turpru veten tende ne rradh t'pare,
Anglin, koleget e tu, femijt e tu, gjith shoqnin...prindrit e tu kudo
qe ndodhen.
Azemi nga Belgjika pernshendet Mithatin nga Gjermania dhe i bashkohet ketij pentincioni duke i uru zotit gazetar anglez vdekje sa ma
t'shpejte. I dalshin zorret e barkut nga hunda inshalla. Erzeni nga
Gjakova dhe Hamiti nga Kavaja i banshkohen urimit te ekipit te dylberave
te Elbasanit me urimin dhe shpresen qe ta njohin ne menyre intime zotin
anglez sa me pare.

Ju pernshendesim juve dhe gjith shoqnin
GURALIU</font>

 

[ameba]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

<font color="blue"><u>RREGULLORJA E PUNES</u>

NENI 1
Fillimin e orarit te punes e cakton punetori vete. Rregullorja e ligjit parasheh qe fillimi i orarit te mos jete para ores 10.00 te mengjesit.

NENI 2
Te ardhurat personale i cakton vete punetori ne marveshje me anetaret e shtepise.

NENI 3
Para fillimit te punes punetoreve iu jepet dicka per sponim si psh: -birre te ftohte, -sandwich, -vere, -konjak. Dhe te gjitha keto ne llogari te ndermarrjes.

NENI 4
Ne pune lejohet qe te kendohet. Nese ndonjeri prej punetoreve fillon te kendoje, punetoret e tjere jane te obliguar qe te nderpresin punen dhe ti bashkohen me te.

NENI 5
Ne qofte se nje punetor e ze gjumi ne pune, te tjeret jane teobliguar qe ne qetesi te plote ta lene vendin e punes me qellim qe te mos pengojne gerhitjen e tij dhe per kete do te gjobiten ne qofte se vazhdojne punen.

NENI 6
Ne mungese te shefit, punetoret kane te drejte te organizojne nje party ne llogari te ndermarrjes.

NENI 7
Pushimi i drekes zgjat nga ora 11.00 deri ne 13.30.

NENI 8
Nese gjate orarit te punes jepet ndonje telenovele ne TV, ndermarrja eshte e obliguar qe te siguroje televizor me madhesi minimale te ekranit 70cm, ne menyre qe punetoret ti ndjekin ato.

NENI 9
Per ta shkarkuar shefin nga detyra nuk duhet me shume se nje petición me dy nenshkrime te punetoreve ne te.

NENI 10
Ne perputhje me rregulloren, punetori mundet me e lut shefin per te kryer punet ne vend te tij si dhe qe ai te jete ne sherbim te punetorit per disa imtesira, si psh: per t'ju sjelle punetoreve birra nga frigoriferi etj. (frigoriferin duhet ta siguroje ndermarrja dhe duhet me doemos te jete "pa akull" me kapacitet se paku 8 litra per 1 punetor.)

NENI 11
Ne qofte se shefi eshte i gjinise femerore atehere punetoret e gjinise mashkullore jane te obliguar qe me sjelljen e tyre t'i tregojne asaj se ajo eshte teme e bisedimeve te tyre gjate tere kohes, psh: me fishkellima etj.

NENI 12
Cdo punetor ka te drejte pushimi vjetor. 8 jave gjate stines se veres dhe 6 jave gjate stines se dimrit.

NENI 13
Nese punetori martohet, firma eshte e obliguar qe ti siguroje shpenzimet e kanagjegjit eventualisht (per burrin) shpenzimet e nates se beqarit si dhe 85% te te gjitha shpenzimeve te tjera. Firma nderpret punen per disa dite.

NENI 14
Per te gjitha punetoret (Femra) firma eshte e obliguar qe te siguroje sherbetore te shtepise e cila duhet te jete mire e ndertuar dhe te jete e pashme ne menyre qe mund ti sherbeje edhe burrit.(ne mungese te gruas)

NENI 15
Fundi i orarit te punes eshte ora 14.30. Punetoret lene vendin e punes te percjellur me muzike te lehte e parapare ne keto raste. Shefi eshte i obliguar qe personalisht te falenderoje secilin duke u shtrenguar duart.

NENI 16
Roja ne dere eshte i obliguar qe secilit punetor gjate daljes nga ndermarrja ti kontrolloje canten. Ne qofte se ai nuk gjen asgje atehere e detyron punetorin te kthehet mbrapsht qe te marre dicka nga zyra. Personave te moshuar keto sende u shperndahen neper shtepia me automjet zyrtar me kusht qe pesha e sendeve te mos jete me e vogel se 2 kg.

NENI 17
Ne qofte se punetori rastesisht sheh ender gjate nates se eshte duke punuar, firma eshte e obliguar qe te paguaje kompesimin per pune te nates.</font>

 

[ameba]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

<font color="blue">Did you hear about the blonde that...
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

she got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

she couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; she answered "C".

she baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, she complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&amp;M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
</font>

<font color="brown">Kush e di sa te shkojne floket Bjod ty mi dreq... /pf/images/graemlins/wub.gif</font>

 

[alinos]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

me shume shkojne karrote /pf/images/graemlins/tonguee.gif

 

[ameba]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

NJAM NJAM /pf/images/graemlins/tonguee.gif
A ta fus nji çape eeee??? /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[alinos]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

po t'i kesh lare dhembet /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif

 

[ameba]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

Nuk i kam nevoje me i la se kam ble proteza nje-perdorimshe /pf/images/graemlins/tonguee.gif

 

[ameba]

Re: Sfide per Alinosin !!!

<font color="blue">Five tips of man for a woman....

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on! and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.</font>

<font color="brown"><u>Better if U print this out... /pf/images/graemlins/tonguee.gif</u></font>