Quotes from Movies 2
- Thread starter alinos
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alinos
Forumium maestatis
Re: Amelie? 
une nuk i mbaj mend batutat e ketij filmi, se u bene vite qe nga rradha e fundit, por eshte nje nga gjerat me te bukura qe kam pare.
Perceptimi i jetes, filozofia e asaj vajzes dhe pafajesia prej shejtanke jane te mrekullueshme! /pf/images/graemlins/thumbsup.gif
Efektet, muzika, scripti jane po ashtu te nje niveli te larte /pf/images/graemlins/wub.gif
une nuk i mbaj mend batutat e ketij filmi, se u bene vite qe nga rradha e fundit, por eshte nje nga gjerat me te bukura qe kam pare.
Perceptimi i jetes, filozofia e asaj vajzes dhe pafajesia prej shejtanke jane te mrekullueshme! /pf/images/graemlins/thumbsup.gif
Efektet, muzika, scripti jane po ashtu te nje niveli te larte /pf/images/graemlins/wub.gif
London_GirL
Primus registratum
Re: Amelie?
i told you i'm a bank rober not a banker...
kush e gjen kete...eshte filem humoristik action
i told you i'm a bank rober not a banker...
kush e gjen kete...eshte filem humoristik action
Re: Quotes from movie (2)
<font color="brown"> Titullin s'e mbaj mend tamam Lara, por luan Kim Bassinger, Kevin Spacey, Russel Crowe. Eshte nje film me police te korruptuar. Crowe plagoset rende ne fund, ndersa kolegu i tij nderohet me medalje. Kjo eshte fraza qe i thote Bassinger ne fund ketij kolegut te Crowe, ndersa iken te dy bashke me makine.
S'e baj mend titullin fareeeee /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
</font>
<font color="brown"> Titullin s'e mbaj mend tamam Lara, por luan Kim Bassinger, Kevin Spacey, Russel Crowe. Eshte nje film me police te korruptuar. Crowe plagoset rende ne fund, ndersa kolegu i tij nderohet me medalje. Kjo eshte fraza qe i thote Bassinger ne fund ketij kolegut te Crowe, ndersa iken te dy bashke me makine.
S'e baj mend titullin fareeeee /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
</font>
Re: Quotes from movie (2)
<font color="brown"> Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here?
Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh...
Eddie Valiant: Who?
Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know. But the liquor store guy... he knew.
Eddie Valiant: In other words, the whole town knows you're here! Get out! </font>
<font color="brown"> Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here?
Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh...
Eddie Valiant: Who?
Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know. But the liquor store guy... he knew.
Eddie Valiant: In other words, the whole town knows you're here! Get out! </font>
Re: Quotes from movie (2)
<font color="brown">
Dangerous Beauty (one of the most impressive mologues, sword-straight to the heart ).
Veronica Franco: I will confess, Your Grace. I confess that as a young girl, I loved a man who would not marry me for want of a dowery. I confess I had a mother who taught me a different way of life, one I resisted at first, but learned to embrace. I confess I became a courtesan. Traded yearning for power, welcomed many rather than be owned by one. I confess I embraced a whore's freedom over a wife's obedience… Your Grace, what am I to do? I need to confess my evil as the church instructs, these are my sins... I confess I find more ecstasy in passion than in prayer. Such passion IS prayer. I confess… I confess I pray still to feel the touch of my lover's lips, his hands upon me, his arms enfolding me. Such surrender has been mine. I confess I hunger still to be filled and enflamed, to melt into the dream of us, beyond this troubled place, to where we are not even ourselves, to know that always, always this is mine. If this had not been mine, if I had lived another way, a child to a husband's whim, my soul hardened from lack of touch and lack of love, I confess such endless days and nights would be punishment far greater than any you could meter out. You, all of you, you who hunger so for what I give, but cannot bear to see such power in a woman. You call God’s greatest gift- ourselves, our yearning, our need for love- you call it filth, and sin, and heresy. I repent there was no other way open to me. I do not repent my life.
</font>
<font color="brown">
Dangerous Beauty (one of the most impressive mologues, sword-straight to the heart ).
Veronica Franco: I will confess, Your Grace. I confess that as a young girl, I loved a man who would not marry me for want of a dowery. I confess I had a mother who taught me a different way of life, one I resisted at first, but learned to embrace. I confess I became a courtesan. Traded yearning for power, welcomed many rather than be owned by one. I confess I embraced a whore's freedom over a wife's obedience… Your Grace, what am I to do? I need to confess my evil as the church instructs, these are my sins... I confess I find more ecstasy in passion than in prayer. Such passion IS prayer. I confess… I confess I pray still to feel the touch of my lover's lips, his hands upon me, his arms enfolding me. Such surrender has been mine. I confess I hunger still to be filled and enflamed, to melt into the dream of us, beyond this troubled place, to where we are not even ourselves, to know that always, always this is mine. If this had not been mine, if I had lived another way, a child to a husband's whim, my soul hardened from lack of touch and lack of love, I confess such endless days and nights would be punishment far greater than any you could meter out. You, all of you, you who hunger so for what I give, but cannot bear to see such power in a woman. You call God’s greatest gift- ourselves, our yearning, our need for love- you call it filth, and sin, and heresy. I repent there was no other way open to me. I do not repent my life.
</font>
Re: Quotes from movie (2)
<font color="brown"> /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif Qyqa goce, duhet ta kemi pri emrit ne /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif .
Ne fakt doja t'i gjeja foton e momentit kur ka kete monologun. Ka nje veshtrim qe me le me goje hapur. Soooo fiery...
Mi aj lov it /pf/images/graemlins/wub.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif Eshte edhe nje moment tjeter, mes shume te tjereve aty, qe eshte shume i bukur.
Beatrice Venier: When my daughter is old enough, I want you to make her a courtesan. … The life you live, the freedom that you have! Would you deny my daughter the same chance? … Do you know what my daughter's nurse told her this morning? That "in a girl's voice lies temptation -- a known fact: eloquence in a woman means promiscuity. Promiscuity of the mind leads to promiscuity of the body." She doesn’t believe her yet, but she will. She'll grow up just like her mother. She'll marry. Bear children and honor her family. Spend her youth at needlepoint and rue the day she was born a girl. And when she dies, she'll wonder why she obeyed all the rules of God and country, because no Biblical hell could ever be worse than this state of perpetual inconsequence.
Adore this movie.
</font>
<font color="brown"> /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif Qyqa goce, duhet ta kemi pri emrit ne /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif .
Ne fakt doja t'i gjeja foton e momentit kur ka kete monologun. Ka nje veshtrim qe me le me goje hapur. Soooo fiery...
Mi aj lov it /pf/images/graemlins/wub.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif Eshte edhe nje moment tjeter, mes shume te tjereve aty, qe eshte shume i bukur.
Beatrice Venier: When my daughter is old enough, I want you to make her a courtesan. … The life you live, the freedom that you have! Would you deny my daughter the same chance? … Do you know what my daughter's nurse told her this morning? That "in a girl's voice lies temptation -- a known fact: eloquence in a woman means promiscuity. Promiscuity of the mind leads to promiscuity of the body." She doesn’t believe her yet, but she will. She'll grow up just like her mother. She'll marry. Bear children and honor her family. Spend her youth at needlepoint and rue the day she was born a girl. And when she dies, she'll wonder why she obeyed all the rules of God and country, because no Biblical hell could ever be worse than this state of perpetual inconsequence.
Adore this movie.
</font>
Re: Quotes from movie (2)
One of the most amazing quotes is from her once best friend and Marco's sister:
You know what my doughter's nurse told my daughter today. That in a girl's voice lies temptation. A know fact eloquence in a woman means promiscuity, promiscuity of the mind leads to promiscuity of the body. SHe doesn't believe her now but she will. She will grow up like her mother. Ruing her life in niddle point and honor her family and country and curse the day she was borne a woman. For no biblical hell can be worse that the state of perpertual inconsequence.
One of the most amazing quotes is from her once best friend and Marco's sister:
You know what my doughter's nurse told my daughter today. That in a girl's voice lies temptation. A know fact eloquence in a woman means promiscuity, promiscuity of the mind leads to promiscuity of the body. SHe doesn't believe her now but she will. She will grow up like her mother. Ruing her life in niddle point and honor her family and country and curse the day she was borne a woman. For no biblical hell can be worse that the state of perpertual inconsequence.
Re: Quotes from movie (2)
<font color="brown"> /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif
Yours or mine? /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif
/pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif
Rri se do na thon robt qe jemi nji ene shkrujm me dy emra per t'bo diversion /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif . </font>
<font color="brown"> /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif
Yours or mine? /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif /pf/images/graemlins/eek.gif
/pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif
Rri se do na thon robt qe jemi nji ene shkrujm me dy emra per t'bo diversion /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif /pf/images/graemlins/lol.gif . </font>
Re: Quotes from movie (2)
<font color="brown"> Tjeter film i jashtezakonshem eshte "Quills" (Pendet - keshtu eshte perkthyer).
Monologu i fundit i abatit (extraordinary)
"...Beloved reader, I leave you now with a tale penned by the Abbe du Coulmier, a man who found freedom, in the most unlikeliest of places: at the bottom of an inkwell, on the tip of a quill. However, be forewarned, it's plot is blood-soaked, it's characters depraved, and it's themes... unwholesome at best. But in order to know virtue, we must acquaint ourselves with vice. Only then can we know the full measure of man. So come... I Dare you... Turn the page... "
</font>
<font color="brown"> Tjeter film i jashtezakonshem eshte "Quills" (Pendet - keshtu eshte perkthyer).
Monologu i fundit i abatit (extraordinary)
"...Beloved reader, I leave you now with a tale penned by the Abbe du Coulmier, a man who found freedom, in the most unlikeliest of places: at the bottom of an inkwell, on the tip of a quill. However, be forewarned, it's plot is blood-soaked, it's characters depraved, and it's themes... unwholesome at best. But in order to know virtue, we must acquaint ourselves with vice. Only then can we know the full measure of man. So come... I Dare you... Turn the page... "
</font>
alinos
Forumium maestatis
Re: Quotes from movie (2)
Memorable Quotes from
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
Roger Rabbit: Yeah. Check the probate. Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with HIS probate, and he had to take these big pills, and drink lots of water.
Eddie Valiant: Not prostate, you idiot. PROBATE.
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Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here?
Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh...
Eddie Valiant: Who?
Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know. But the liquor store guy... he knew.
Eddie Valiant: In other words, the whole town knows you're here! Get out!
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Jessica Rabbit: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
Jessica Rabbit: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
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Roger Rabbit: My only purpose in life is to make people laugh.
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Eddie Valiant: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!
Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Sit down!
Roger Rabbit: You don't understand. Those people needed to laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Then when they're done laughing, they'll call the cops. That guy Angelo would rat on you for a nickel.
Roger Rabbit: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.
Eddie Valiant: Why? Because you made him laugh?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.
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Roger Rabbit: Okay, nobody move! All right, you weasels, grab some sky or I let the judge have it. You heard me, I said drop it!
Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling!
Roger Rabbit: That's right, my dear. I'd love to embrace you, but first, I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage.
Judge Doom: Put that gun down, you buck-toothed fool!
Roger Rabbit: That's it, Doom. Give me another excuse to pop you full of lead. So you thought you could get away with it, didn't you? Ha! We toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid. We demand justice. Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks.
[a ton of bricks falls on Roger]
Jessica Rabbit: Roger! Roger, say something!
Roger Rabbit: Look, stars! Ready when you are, Raoul.
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Eddie Valiant: Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning.
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Eddie Valiant: You mean you could've taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?
Roger Rabbit: No, not at any time, only when it was funny.
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Dolores: I would have been here right after you called, but I had to shake the weasels.
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Jessica Rabbit: I love you more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit.
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Dolores: Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for murder?
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Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is?
Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it's DIP!
Judge Doom: That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toon Town off the face of the earth! Vehicle of my own design; 5,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurized water cannon. Toon Town will be erased in a matter of minutes.
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Judge Doom: A few weeks ago I had the good providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway.
Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?
Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past.
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Eddie Valiant: So that's why you killed Acme and Maroon? For this freeway? I don't get it.
Judge Doom: Of course not. You lack vision, but I see a place where people get on and off the freeway. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Soon, where Toon Town once stood will be a string of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful.
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[Eddie is hiding Roger in his pants]
Dolores: Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
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[Eddie is about to pick up the hand buzzer that fell off of Acme's corpse when Judge Doom stops him with his cane]
Judge Doom: Is this man removing evidence from the scene of the crime?
Lt. Santino: Ah, no, Judge Doom. Valiant here was just picking it up for you. Weren't you, Eddie?
Judge Doom: Hand it over.
Eddie Valiant: Sure thing.
[zaps Doom with buzzer]
Eddie Valiant: Their number one seller.
Judge Doom: I see working for a toon has rubbed off on you.
Eddie Valiant: I wasn't working for a toon. I was working for R.K. Maroon.
Judge Doom: Yes, we talked to Mr. Maroon. He said the rabbit became quite agitated when you showed him the pictures. He swore that one way or another he and his wife were going to be happy. Is that true, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Hey, what do I look like? A stenographer?
Lt. Santino: Shut your yap, Eddie. The man's a judge.
Judge Doom: That's all right, Lieutenant. From the smell of him, I'd say it was the booze talking.
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Eddie Valiant: What's with him?
Betty Boop: Mr. Acme never misses a night when Jessica performs.
Eddie Valiant: Got a thing for rabbits, huh?
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Smart Ass: Search the place, boys, and leave no stone interned.
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[Eddie Valiant sits down at the Ink and Paint Club; Marvin Acme squirts ink from his pen on Eddie's shirt and laughs]
Eddie Valiant: You think that's funny?
Marvin Acme: It's a panic!
Eddie Valiant: [grabs Acme by the lapels] You won't think it's so funny when I stick that pen up your nose!
Marvin Acme: Take it easy, pal. It's disappearing ink.
[the stain fades away]
Marvin Acme: No hard feelings, I hope. Listen, I'm...
Eddie Valiant: I know who you are. Marvin Acme, the Gag King. The guy who owns Toontown.
Marvin Acme: If it's an Acme, it's a gasser. Shake.
[shakes hands with Eddie, who feels a shock]
Marvin Acme: The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller.
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Angelo: So who's your client, Mr. Detective-to-the-Stars? Chilly Willy? Or Screwy Squirrel?
Dolores: What'll it be?
Angelo: I'll have a beer, doll. So what happened, huh? Somebody kidnapped Dinky Doodle?
Dolores: Cut it out, Angelo.
Angelo: No, wait a minute, wait a minute, I've got it. You're working for Little Bo Peep. She's lost her sheep, and you're gonna help her find them, huh?
[Angelo laughs. Eddie kicks Angelo's seat out from under him and grabs him by the neck]
Eddie Valiant: Get this straight, meatball. I... don't... work... for toons.
[Eddie stuff a hard-boiled egg in Angelo's mouth and storms off]
Angelo: [spits out the egg] So, what's his problem?
Dolores: A toon killed his brother
Angelo: What?
Dolores: Dropped a piano on his head.
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Raoul J. Raoul: Cut! Cut, cut, cut, cut, *cut*!
Baby Herman: What the hell was wrong with *that* take?
Raoul J. Raoul: Nothing with you, Baby Herman. You were great, you were perfect, you were *better* than perfect. It's Roger, he keeps BLOWING HIS LINES! Roger, what is this?
Roger Rabbit: A tweeting bird.
Raoul J. Raoul: "A tweeting bird." Roger, read this script. Look what it says. It says, "Rabbit gets klunked, rabbit sees *stars*." Not birds, STARS!
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Angelo: Hey, I seen a rabbit.
[Roger gasps]
Eddie Valiant: Ya see?
Judge Doom: Where?
Angelo: He's right here in the bar.
[put his arm around an imaginary friend]
Angelo: Say hello... Harvey.
[the whole bar erupts in laughter]
Roger Rabbit: I told you so.
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Judge Doom: [voice getting higher] Remember me, Eddie? When I killed your brother, I talked just like THIS.
[eyes pop out in the shape of daggers]
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R.K. Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know.
R.K. Maroon: Yeah. And there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You've seen the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his mind on his job. You know why?
Eddie Valiant: One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?
R.K. Maroon: Nah, he's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, goes to pieces just like you and me.
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Judge Doom: You wouldn't have any idea where the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Have you tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very nice this time of the year.
Judge Doom: I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. A human has been murdered by a toon. Don't you appreciate the magnitude of that?
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Eddie Valiant: What's that?
Lt. Santino: Remember how they always thought there wasn't a way to kill a toon? Well, Doom found a way. Turpentine, acetone, benzene. He calls it "The Dip."
Judge Doom: I'll catch the rabbit, Mr. Valiant. And I'll try him, convict him, and execute him.
[dips shoe in poison, and cremation smoke starts sizzling out]
Eddie Valiant: Geez.
Greasy: [laughs] That's one dead shoe, eh, boss?
Judge Doom: They're not kid gloves, Mr. Valiant. This is how we handle things down in Toontown.
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Jessica Rabbit: Oh, no. Where's Roger?
Eddie Valiant: Roger?. He chickened out on me back at the studio.
Jessica Rabbit: No he didn't. I hit him in the head with a frying pan and put him in the trunk... so he wouldn't get hurt.
Eddie Valiant: Makes perfect sense.
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Eddie Valiant: That lame-brain freeway idea could only be cooked up by a toon.
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Baby Herman: For crying out loud, Roger, I don't know how many times we have to do this damn scene! Raoul, I'll be in my trailer, taking a nap!
[Walks between a woman's legs]
Baby Herman: 'Scuse me, toots.
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Lt. Santino: Gee whiz, Eddie, if you really needed money so bad, then why didn't you come to me?
Eddie Valiant: Well, I took a couple of dirty pictures, so kill me.
Lt. Santino: I already got a stiff on my hands, thank you.
Eddie Valiant: Huh?
Lt. Santino: Marvin Acme. The rabbit cacked him last night.
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Lt. Santino: Just like a toon to drop a safe on a guy's head.
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Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls/And bouncing off the walls/Without that gun, I'd have some fun/I'd kick you in the
[bottle falls on his head]
Roger Rabbit: Nose.
Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls."
Eddie Valiant: No, but this does.
[He kicks Smartass in the crotch, propelling him into a vat of Dip]
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Roger Rabbit: Benny, is that you?
Benny the Cab: No, it's Eleanor Roosevelt.
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Eddie Valiant: Nice monkey suit.
Bongo: Huh. Wise ass.
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Eddie Valiant: Seriously, what do you see in that guy?
Jessica Rabbit: He makes me laugh.
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[Eddie sneaks up on Maroon]
Eddie Valiant: What's Up, Doc?
R.K. Maroon: Valiant, are you trying to give me a heart attack?
Eddie Valiant: You need a heart, before you can have an attack.
R.K. Maroon: Yeah, yeah. You got the will?
Eddie Valiant: Sure. I got the will. Question is, do you have the way? I can tell you now it ain't gonna come cheap.
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[Eddie is falling; Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny, both wearing parachutes, join him]
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, Doc? Jumping without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain't it?
Mickey Mouse: Yeah. You could get killed. Heh, heh.
Eddie Valiant: Listen, do any of you have a spare?
Mickey Mouse: Uh, Bugs does.
Eddie Valiant: Really?
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, but I don't think you want it.
Eddie Valiant: I do, I do, give it to me.
Mickey Mouse: Gee, better let him have it, Bugs.
Bugs Bunny: Okay, Doc. Whatever you say. Here's the spare.
Eddie Valiant: Thanks
[Mickey and Bugs deploy parachutes; Eddie pulls ripcord on parachute, car tire comes out]
Eddie Valiant: OH, NO. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Mickey Mouse: Aw, poor fella.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, ain't I a stinker?
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Benny the Cab: Sister Mary Frances. What the hell happened in here? I've been a cab for thirty-seven years, and I've never seen a mess like this.
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Eddie Valiant: [moves the street line towards a wall, wacky woman crashes into the wall] Toons. Gets 'em every time.
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Roger Rabbit: Jumpin' Jeepers.
Benny the Cab: Hey Roger, what do you call the middle of a song?
Roger Rabbit: Gee, I don't know- A BRIDGE.
[Benny jumps onto a bridge]
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Daffy Duck: I've worked with a lot of withe-quackerth, but you are dethpicable
Donald F. Duck: Doggone stubborn little- That did it! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Daffy Duck: Thith ith the latht time I work with thomeone with a th-peech impediment.
Donald F. Duck: Oh, yeah?
Donald F. Duck: [shuts Daffy in a piano]
Daffy Duck: Thith meanth war.
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Eddie Valiant: Nice booby trap.
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[Bongo catches Eddie spying on Jessica]
Bongo: What do you think you're doing, chump?
Eddie Valiant: Who are you callin' a chump, chimp?
[Picks up Eddie and carries him to the backstage door]
Bongo: GRRRR!
[Throws Eddie into the garbage]
Eddie Valiant: AAAHH-OOF!
Bongo: Don't let me catch your peepin' face around here again. Got it? GRR!
[Slams door]
Eddie Valiant: OOGA-BOOGA!
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Smart Ass: Stop that laughing. You know what happens when you can't stop laughing?
[hits two with a plunger, throws it at the chubby one]
Smart Ass: One of these days, you're gonna die laughing.
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Smart Ass: Don't make us play rough, Valiant. We just want the rabbit.
Roger Rabbit: What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do?
Eddie Valiant: What's all this "we" stuff? They just want the rabbit.
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R.K. Maroon: Kinda jumpy, aren't you, Mr. Valiant? it's just Dumbo.
Eddie Valiant: I KNOW who it is.
R.K. Maroon: I got him on loan from Disney. Him and half the cast of Fantasia. the best part is, they work for peanuts.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I've still got it. Boo boo be do, boo.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Betty Boop: Cigars? Cigarettes?...Eddie Valiant!
Eddie Valiant: [turns around] Betty!
Betty Boop: Long time, no see!
Eddie Valiant: What are you doing here?
Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I still got it, Eddie! "Boop-boop-be-doop-*boop*!"
Eddie Valiant: [grins] Yeah. You still got it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: We got a reliable tip-off, Valiant, the rabbit was here! And it was corroborated by several others! For-get the bull-shki.
Eddie Valiant: Haven't seen 'im.
Smart Ass: [sniffs suspiciously at the sink] What's in there?
Eddie Valiant: [holds up a dirty sock] My lingere.
Smart Ass: [yelps, winces, and covers his nose]
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Eddie Valiant: Dolores, you need to find yourself a good man.
Dolores: But I already have a good man.
[they are about to kiss when Roger sighs - they turn to him]
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, don't mind me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Eddie is hanging on to a flagpole]
Tweety: Oh, wook! Piddies.
Eddie Valiant: Hi, Tweety.
Tweety: This wittle piddy went to market.
[removes one of Eddie's fingers from the pole]
Tweety: This wittle piddy stayed home.
[removes another one]
Eddie Valiant: No.
Tweety: This wittle piddy had roast beef,
[removes another one]
Tweety: and this wittle piddy had...
[Eddie falls]
Tweety: Uh-oh, wan outta piddies.
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Judge Doom: [while putting on a large black rubber glove] Since I've had Toontown under my jurisdiction my goal has been to reign in the insanity, and the only way to do that is to make Toons respect...
[lets the glove snap back onto his arm]
Judge Doom: ... the law.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Hide me Eddie... PLLLEASE. Remember you never saw me.
Eddie Valiant: GET OUT OF THERE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Boy, what is this, some kind of secret room?
Dolores: It's a rotgut room, holdover from Prohibition.
Roger Rabbit: Oh, I get it, a speakeasy, a gin mill, a hooch parlor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[first lines]
Mrs. Herman: Mommy's going to the beauty parlor, darling, but I'm leaving you with your favorite friend, Roger. He's going to take very, very good care of you, because if he doesn't... HE'S GOING BACK TO THE SCIENCE LAB.
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Eddie Valiant: GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR. That's my brother's chair.
Roger Rabbit: [looking at photo on desk] Yeah, where is your brother anyway? He looks like a sensitive and... SOBER fellow.
Eddie Valiant: That's it. I'm calling the cops.
Roger Rabbit: [leaving] Go ahead. Call the cops. I come here for help and what do you do? Yo turn me in. No, don't feel guilty about me. So long, and thanks for nothing.
[slams door]
Eddie Valiant: That's the closet! Stupe!
[enters the closet]
Roger Rabbit: [impersonating [ndaluar] Tracy] Eddie Valiant, you're under arrest.
[slaps handcuffs on Eddie]
Roger Rabbit: Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!
Eddie Valiant: You idiot. I got no keys for these cuffs.
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Lt. Santino: Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme.
Eddie Valiant: And R.K. Maroon. And my brother.
Lt. Santino: Now that's what I call one seriously disturbed toon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dolores: Well, you wanna tell me what she was doing with her arms around you?
Eddie Valiant: Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife.
Dolores: Oh come on Eddie, I caught you with your pants down.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Droopy Dog: [as a bellhop] Going up, sir?
[eddie walks and falls on the elevator]
Droopy Dog: [looking down from boxes] Mind the step, sir. Hold on, sir.
[Droopy pulls a lever and Eddie is pulled to the floor with his head up as the elevator goes up fast]
Droopy Dog: [pushing the lever to stop the elevator] Your floor sir.
[eddie gets out]
Droopy Dog: [with head stretch] Have a good day sir.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Benny the Cab: Ah, that's better. I can't believe they locked me up for driving on the sidewalk.
Roger Rabbit: Come on, Eddie, get in.
Benny the Cab: It was just a couple of miles.
Eddie Valiant: I'll drive.
Roger Rabbit: But I wanna drive.
Benny the Cab: No. I'll drive, I'm the cab. Outta my way, pencil neck.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Jeepers, Eddie. That was swell. You saved my life. How can I ever repay ya?
[kisses Eddie, Eddie pulls away]
Eddie Valiant: For starters, don't ever kiss me again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Judge Doom about to "dip" Roger]
Eddie Valiant: Hey, Judge. Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request?
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, nose plugs would be nice.
Eddie Valiant: I think you want a drink. So, how about it, Judge?
Judge Doom: Well, why not? I don't mind prolonging the execution.
Eddie Valiant: Happy trails.
Roger Rabbit: No thanks, Eddie. I'm trying to cut down.
Eddie Valiant: Drink the drink.
Roger Rabbit: But I don't want the drink.
Judge Doom: He doesn't want the drink.
Eddie Valiant: He does.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You do.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You do.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You do.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You don't.
Roger Rabbit: I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't.
Roger Rabbit: I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't.
Roger Rabbit: [taking drink] Listen, when I say I do, that means I do.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Doom: You see, Mr. Valiant, the successful conclusion of this case draws the curtain on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I'm retiring, taking a new role in the private sector.
Eddie Valiant: That wouldn't be Cloverleaf Industries, by any chance?
Judge Doom: You're looking at the sole stockholder.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Raoul. I can give you stars. Just drop the refrigerator on my head one more time.
Raoul J. Raoul: Roger, I've dropped it on your head 23 times already.
Roger Rabbit: I can take it, don't worry about me.
Raoul J. Raoul: I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about the refrigerator.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dolores: [catching Eddie with Jessica] Dabbling in watercolors, Eddie?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Scotch on the rocks. And I mean ice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jessica Rabbit: Well, we're not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours.
Eddie Valiant: I have a feeling someone already did.
Jessica Rabbit: From the looks of it I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel.
Eddie Valiant: Better lover than a driver, huh?
Jessica Rabbit: You'd better believe it, buster.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R.K. Maroon: Roger, I know this seems pretty painful now, but you'll find someone new. Won't he, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Good looking guy like that? Dames will be breaking his doors down.
Roger Rabbit: Dames? What dames?
[Angrily grabbing Eddie by the lapels]
Roger Rabbit: Jessica's the only one for me. You'll see. We'll rise above this piddling pecadillo. We're gonna be happy again. You got that? Happy. Capital H-A-P-P-I.
[Runs through window]
Eddie Valiant: At least he took it well.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[the Toons gather around Judge Doom's remains]
Mickey Mouse: Gosh, I wonder who he really was?
Bugs Bunny: I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit.
Daffy Duck: Or a duck.
Goofy: Or a dog.
Pinocchio: Or a little wooden boy.
Big Bad Wolf: Or a... sheep.
Woody Woodpecker: Or a woodpecker.
Sylvester: Or a [ndaluar].
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Eddie gets $50 for a $100 job]
Eddie Valiant: Where's the other fifty?
R.K. Maroon: Let's call the other fifty a carrot to finish the job.
Eddie Valiant: You've been hanging around rabbits too long.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dolores: Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You know what happens here on Friday?
Eddie Valiant: Fish special?
Dolores: You know my boss check the books on Friday. If I don't have that money I gave you on the till by Friday I'm going to lose my job.
Eddie Valiant: Don't bust a button, Dolores. You only have one left.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R.K. Maroon: What are you going to do to me, Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: I'm going to listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario. The story of greed, sex and murder. And the parts that I don't like, I'm going to edit out.
R.K. Maroon: You got it all wrong, Valiant. I'm a cartoon maker, not a murderer.
Eddie Valiant: Everybody's gotta have a hobby.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[to Eddie]
Roger Rabbit: Is there nothing that can permeate that impervious puss?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bongo: Got the password?
Eddie Valiant: Walt sent me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: Look, Valiant, we got a reliable tip-off. The rabbit was here. It was corrugated by several others. So cut the bullshtick.
Eddie Valiant: You keep talking like that and I'll have to wash your mouth off.
[Sticks soap bar in Smartass' mouth]
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Eddie Valiant: This singing ain't my line/ It's hard to make a rhyme/If I get stuck, I'm... I'm out of luck, I'm...
Jessica Rabbit: I'm running out of time.
Eddie Valiant: Thanks.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Keep it up, Eddie. You're killing 'em. You're slaying 'em. You're knocking 'em dead.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Benny, you go to the cops. I'm gonna save my wife.
Benny the Cab: Be careful with that gun. This ain't no cartoon, you know.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: Say, Judge. You want we should disresemble the place?
Judge Doom: No, Sergeant. Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me.
[Doom taps "Shave and a Haircut" on counter]
Judge Doom: No toon can resist the old Shave-and-a-Haircut trick.
[Continues tapping]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: What could have possibly happen to you to turn you into such a sourpuss?
Eddie Valiant: You really want to know? I'll tell you. A toon killed my brother.
Roger Rabbit: A toon? No!
Eddie Valiant: Yes, a toon. We were investigating a robbery at the First National Bank of Toontown. Back in those days, me and Teddy liked working Toontown, thought it was a lot of laughs. Anyway, this guy got away with a zillion simoleons. We trailed him to a little dive down on Yukster Street. We went in. Only he got the drop on us, literally. Dropped a piano on us from fifteen stories. Broke my arm, Teddy never made it. I never did find out who that guy was. All I remember was him standing over me laughing, with those burning red eyes, and that high, squeaky voice. He disappeared into Toontown after that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: I'm glad Teddy isn't here to see me running with my tail between my legs.
Roger Rabbit: It's not so bad, once you get used to it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Weren't you the one I caught playing pattycake with old man Acme?
Jessica Rabbit: You didn't catch me, Mr. Valiant. You were set up to take those pictures.
Eddie Valiant: What are you talking about?
Jessica Rabbit: Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme. I didn't want to have anything to do with it, but he said that if I didn't pose for those pattycake pictures, Roger would never work in this town again. I couldn't let that happen. I'd do anything for my husband, Mr. Valiant. Anything.
[Presses her chest against Eddie's with a "thump"]
Eddie Valiant: What a wife.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Doom: Shave, and a haircut...
[Roger crashes through the wall]
Roger Rabbit: TWO BITS!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Forget it. I don't work Toontown.
R.K. Maroon: What's wrong with Toontown? Every Joe loves Toontown.
Eddie Valiant: Then get Joe to do the job, 'cause I ain't going.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not pattycake! It can't be! It just can't be! Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the love of my life. The apple of my eye. The cream in my coffee.
Eddie Valiant: Well you better start drinking it black, Acme's taking the cream now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, Roger. You were magnificent.
Roger Rabbit: Was I really?
Jessica Rabbit: Better than Goofy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: A ladies' man, eh?
Baby Herman: The problem is I got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky. Look, Valiant, the rabbit didn't kill Acme. He's not a murderer, I should know, he's a dear friend of mine. I tell ya Valiant, the whole thing stinks like yesterday's diapers. Look at this. The papers said Acme left no will. That's a load of succotash. Any toon knows Acme had a will. He promised to leave Toontown to us toons. That will is the real reason he got bumped off.
Eddie Valiant: Has anyone ever seen this will?
Baby Herman: Ah, no. But he gave us his solemn oath.
Eddie Valiant: If you think that guy could do anything solemn, the gag's on you, pal.
Baby Herman: I just thought that since you were the one who got my pal in trouble, you might wanna help get him out. I can pay ya.
Eddie Valiant: Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes.
[Pushes the stroller, knocks a woman over, Baby Herman's cigar falls to the floor]
Baby Herman: My stogie. WAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAAAAAA. WAAAAAAAAAAAAH
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that in a fit of jealousy you wrote your wife a love letter?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! I knew that she was just an innocent victim of circumstance.
Eddie Valiant: I suppose you used the old lipstick on the mirror routine.
Roger Rabbit: Lipstick, yes. Mirror, no. I found a nice, clean piece of paper.
[reading]
Roger Rabbit: "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three one-thousand. Four one-thousand. Five..."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Boy, did you see that? Nobody takes a wallop like Goofy. What timing! What finesse! What a genius!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Say, Eddie. That sure was a funny dance you did for the weasels. Do you think your days of being a sourpuss are over?
Eddie Valiant: Only time will tell.
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, well... put 'er there, pal.
[They shake hands; Eddie gets shocked by buzzer on Roger's hand; he glowers at Roger]
Roger Rabbit: Don't tell me you lost your sense of humor already?
Eddie Valiant: [Grabbing Roger by the throat] Does this answer your question?
[Eddie kisses Roger in the mouth]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Say, Roger. That letter you wrote to your wife at the Ink and Paint Club? Why don't you read it to her now?
Roger Rabbit: Sure thing, Eddie. "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I, Marvin Acme, of sound mind and body..."? It's the will!
Eddie Valiant: Keep reading.
Roger Rabbit: "... do hereby bequeath, in perpetuity, the property known as Toontown, to those lovable characters, the toons"!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Nice shirt. Who's your tailor? Quasimodo?
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Judge Doom: I'm looking for a murderer. A rabbit. A toon rabbit...
[goes over to midget drinker and presses down on him and the midget squats]
Judge Doom: about YEEEEAAAA BIG.
Dolores: Well look, there's no Rabbit here. So don't come in here harrassing my customers.
Judge Doom: I didn't come here to harrass. I came here to reward.
[writes "Rabbit Dip $5,000" on the chalkboard with loud scratching noise]
Angelo: [wolf whistle] Hey, I seen a rabbit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: Hey Judge, what should we do with the wallflower?
[referring to Eddie who is now visible through the hole in the wall]
Judge Doom: [holding Roger by the neck] We'll settle with him later. Right now, I feel like dispensing some justice. Bring me some dip.
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Judge Doom: [picks up the record from the record player - reads] "Merry-Go-Round Broke Down". What a looney selection for a dismal group of drunken reprobates.
[all the drinkers turn away and cough - Doom sniffs the record]
Judge Doom: HE'S HERE!
[throws record like a Frisbee into Smart Ass's mouth]
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Eddie Valiant: She's married to Roger Rabbit?
Betty Boop: Yeah. What a lucky girl.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: So why come to me? I'm the one who took the pictures of your wife.
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, and you're also the one who helped all these toons. Everyone knows that when a toon's in trouble, there's only one place to go: Valiant & Valiant.
Eddie Valiant: Not anymore.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as Doom is searching for Roger by tapping "Shave and a Haircut"]
Eddie Valiant: I don't know who's toonier, you or Doom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Can I borrow your camera? Mine's at the shop.
Dolores: Wouldn't be the pawn shop, by any chance?
Eddie Valiant: C'mon, Dolores. You want the other fifty, I need the camera.
[Dolores hands Eddie the camera]
Eddie Valiant: Any film in there?
Dolores: Should be. Haven't had that film developed since our trip to Catalina. Sure was a long time ago.
Eddie Valiant: Yeah. that was along time ago. We should do that again some time.
Dolores: Yeah, sure, Eddie.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: What are we going to do, Eddie? What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?
Eddie Valiant: What's all this we stuff? They just want the rabbit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[last lines]
Porky Pig: All right. M-m-m-ove along now. Th-th-there's nothing left to see here. That's all folks. Mmm, I like the sound of that.
Porky Pig: [turns to audience; iris closes in on Porky and "Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" plays on soundtrack]
Porky Pig: Th-th-th-that's all, folks!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Yosemite Sam, with his rear end on fire, lands near Eddie]
Yosemite Sam: Yeow! Ow! My biscuits are burnin'! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts!
[Sits in a puddle and extinguishes the fire]
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Roger Rabbit: When you called Maroon, you told him you had the will, but you don't. When he finds out, he's gonna be mad. He might try to kill you.
Eddie Valiant: I can handle a Hollywood cream puff. I just don't want the odds to change. You stay here and cover my back. And if you see or hear anything, beep the horn twice.
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, beep the horn twice. Cover your back. Boy, I'm ready. Dukes up. Eyes peeled. Ears to the ground. Why, nobody gets the drop on Roger Rabbit.
[Roger is knocked out with a frying pan and dragged away]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Eddie. You know there's no justice for toons anymore. If the weasels get their hands on me, I'm as good as dipped.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: So, how long have you known it was Doom?
Jessica Rabbit: Before poor Marvin was killed, he confided in me that Judge Doom wanted to get his hands on Toontown, and he wouldn't stop at anything.
Eddie Valiant: So he gave you the will for safe keeping.
Jessica Rabbit: That's what he told me, except when I opened the envelope, there was only a blank piece of paper inside.
Eddie Valiant: Ha! A joker to the end.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birds: Hi, Eddie... hi, Eddie... hi, Eddie... bye, Eddie!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: [singing] My friend is Eddie V. / A sourpuss, you'll see / But when I'm done, he'll need no gun / 'Cause a joker he will be / C-D-E-F-G-H-I / I... love to raise some Cain / Believe me, it's no strain / It feels so great to smash a plate / And look, 'cause there's no pain!
[Breaks plate on head]
Roger Rabbit: ... no pain!
[Breaks plate]
Roger Rabbit: ... no pain!
[keeps breaking plates until Eddie Valiant stops the stuck record]
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Benny the Cab: Well, fellas, where can I drop you?
Roger Rabbit: Somewhere we can hide.
Benny the Cab: I've got just the place. And incidentally, if you should ever need a ride, just stick out you thumb. Hey! Share the road, will ya, lady?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Benny the Cab: And how about those Brooklyn Dodgers? Are they bums or what?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, Honey Bunny!
Roger Rabbit: Oh, Lovecup.
Jessica Rabbit: [kisses Roger] Oh, Roger! You were a pillar of strength.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Everything's funny to you, ain't it, needlenose?
Smart Ass: You got a problem with that, Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: No, I just want you to know something about the guy you're gonna dip.
[Pulls a lever on a calliope, which plays "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down"]
Eddie Valiant: [singing] Now Roger is his name / Laughter is his game / C'mon you dope, untie his rope / And watch him go insane.
[He starts dancing and tumbling around, as the weasels laugh]
Jessica Rabbit: He's lost his mind.
Roger Rabbit: I don't think so.
Memorable Quotes from
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
Roger Rabbit: Yeah. Check the probate. Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with HIS probate, and he had to take these big pills, and drink lots of water.
Eddie Valiant: Not prostate, you idiot. PROBATE.
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Eddie Valiant: Anybody know you're here?
Roger Rabbit: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh...
Eddie Valiant: Who?
Roger Rabbit: Well, you see, I didn't know where your office was. So I asked the newsboy. He didn't know. So I asked the fireman, green grocerer, the butcher, the baker, they didn't know. But the liquor store guy... he knew.
Eddie Valiant: In other words, the whole town knows you're here! Get out!
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Jessica Rabbit: You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do.
Jessica Rabbit: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: My only purpose in life is to make people laugh.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing!
Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Sit down!
Roger Rabbit: You don't understand. Those people needed to laugh.
Eddie Valiant: Then when they're done laughing, they'll call the cops. That guy Angelo would rat on you for a nickel.
Roger Rabbit: Not Angelo. He'd never turn me in.
Eddie Valiant: Why? Because you made him laugh?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it's the only weapon we have.
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Roger Rabbit: Okay, nobody move! All right, you weasels, grab some sky or I let the judge have it. You heard me, I said drop it!
Jessica Rabbit: Roger, darling!
Roger Rabbit: That's right, my dear. I'd love to embrace you, but first, I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage.
Judge Doom: Put that gun down, you buck-toothed fool!
Roger Rabbit: That's it, Doom. Give me another excuse to pop you full of lead. So you thought you could get away with it, didn't you? Ha! We toons may act idiotic, but we're not stupid. We demand justice. Why, the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks.
[a ton of bricks falls on Roger]
Jessica Rabbit: Roger! Roger, say something!
Roger Rabbit: Look, stars! Ready when you are, Raoul.
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Eddie Valiant: Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: You mean you could've taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?
Roger Rabbit: No, not at any time, only when it was funny.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dolores: I would have been here right after you called, but I had to shake the weasels.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jessica Rabbit: I love you more than any woman's ever loved a rabbit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dolores: Is he always this funny, or only on days when he's wanted for murder?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is?
Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it's DIP!
Judge Doom: That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toon Town off the face of the earth! Vehicle of my own design; 5,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurized water cannon. Toon Town will be erased in a matter of minutes.
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Judge Doom: A few weeks ago I had the good providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway.
Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?
Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past.
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Eddie Valiant: So that's why you killed Acme and Maroon? For this freeway? I don't get it.
Judge Doom: Of course not. You lack vision, but I see a place where people get on and off the freeway. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Soon, where Toon Town once stood will be a string of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Eddie is hiding Roger in his pants]
Dolores: Is that a rabbit in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Eddie is about to pick up the hand buzzer that fell off of Acme's corpse when Judge Doom stops him with his cane]
Judge Doom: Is this man removing evidence from the scene of the crime?
Lt. Santino: Ah, no, Judge Doom. Valiant here was just picking it up for you. Weren't you, Eddie?
Judge Doom: Hand it over.
Eddie Valiant: Sure thing.
[zaps Doom with buzzer]
Eddie Valiant: Their number one seller.
Judge Doom: I see working for a toon has rubbed off on you.
Eddie Valiant: I wasn't working for a toon. I was working for R.K. Maroon.
Judge Doom: Yes, we talked to Mr. Maroon. He said the rabbit became quite agitated when you showed him the pictures. He swore that one way or another he and his wife were going to be happy. Is that true, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Hey, what do I look like? A stenographer?
Lt. Santino: Shut your yap, Eddie. The man's a judge.
Judge Doom: That's all right, Lieutenant. From the smell of him, I'd say it was the booze talking.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: What's with him?
Betty Boop: Mr. Acme never misses a night when Jessica performs.
Eddie Valiant: Got a thing for rabbits, huh?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: Search the place, boys, and leave no stone interned.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Eddie Valiant sits down at the Ink and Paint Club; Marvin Acme squirts ink from his pen on Eddie's shirt and laughs]
Eddie Valiant: You think that's funny?
Marvin Acme: It's a panic!
Eddie Valiant: [grabs Acme by the lapels] You won't think it's so funny when I stick that pen up your nose!
Marvin Acme: Take it easy, pal. It's disappearing ink.
[the stain fades away]
Marvin Acme: No hard feelings, I hope. Listen, I'm...
Eddie Valiant: I know who you are. Marvin Acme, the Gag King. The guy who owns Toontown.
Marvin Acme: If it's an Acme, it's a gasser. Shake.
[shakes hands with Eddie, who feels a shock]
Marvin Acme: The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Angelo: So who's your client, Mr. Detective-to-the-Stars? Chilly Willy? Or Screwy Squirrel?
Dolores: What'll it be?
Angelo: I'll have a beer, doll. So what happened, huh? Somebody kidnapped Dinky Doodle?
Dolores: Cut it out, Angelo.
Angelo: No, wait a minute, wait a minute, I've got it. You're working for Little Bo Peep. She's lost her sheep, and you're gonna help her find them, huh?
[Angelo laughs. Eddie kicks Angelo's seat out from under him and grabs him by the neck]
Eddie Valiant: Get this straight, meatball. I... don't... work... for toons.
[Eddie stuff a hard-boiled egg in Angelo's mouth and storms off]
Angelo: [spits out the egg] So, what's his problem?
Dolores: A toon killed his brother
Angelo: What?
Dolores: Dropped a piano on his head.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Raoul J. Raoul: Cut! Cut, cut, cut, cut, *cut*!
Baby Herman: What the hell was wrong with *that* take?
Raoul J. Raoul: Nothing with you, Baby Herman. You were great, you were perfect, you were *better* than perfect. It's Roger, he keeps BLOWING HIS LINES! Roger, what is this?
Roger Rabbit: A tweeting bird.
Raoul J. Raoul: "A tweeting bird." Roger, read this script. Look what it says. It says, "Rabbit gets klunked, rabbit sees *stars*." Not birds, STARS!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Angelo: Hey, I seen a rabbit.
[Roger gasps]
Eddie Valiant: Ya see?
Judge Doom: Where?
Angelo: He's right here in the bar.
[put his arm around an imaginary friend]
Angelo: Say hello... Harvey.
[the whole bar erupts in laughter]
Roger Rabbit: I told you so.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Doom: [voice getting higher] Remember me, Eddie? When I killed your brother, I talked just like THIS.
[eyes pop out in the shape of daggers]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R.K. Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know.
R.K. Maroon: Yeah. And there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You've seen the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his mind on his job. You know why?
Eddie Valiant: One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?
R.K. Maroon: Nah, he's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, goes to pieces just like you and me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Doom: You wouldn't have any idea where the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Have you tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very nice this time of the year.
Judge Doom: I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. A human has been murdered by a toon. Don't you appreciate the magnitude of that?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: What's that?
Lt. Santino: Remember how they always thought there wasn't a way to kill a toon? Well, Doom found a way. Turpentine, acetone, benzene. He calls it "The Dip."
Judge Doom: I'll catch the rabbit, Mr. Valiant. And I'll try him, convict him, and execute him.
[dips shoe in poison, and cremation smoke starts sizzling out]
Eddie Valiant: Geez.
Greasy: [laughs] That's one dead shoe, eh, boss?
Judge Doom: They're not kid gloves, Mr. Valiant. This is how we handle things down in Toontown.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, no. Where's Roger?
Eddie Valiant: Roger?. He chickened out on me back at the studio.
Jessica Rabbit: No he didn't. I hit him in the head with a frying pan and put him in the trunk... so he wouldn't get hurt.
Eddie Valiant: Makes perfect sense.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: That lame-brain freeway idea could only be cooked up by a toon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Baby Herman: For crying out loud, Roger, I don't know how many times we have to do this damn scene! Raoul, I'll be in my trailer, taking a nap!
[Walks between a woman's legs]
Baby Herman: 'Scuse me, toots.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lt. Santino: Gee whiz, Eddie, if you really needed money so bad, then why didn't you come to me?
Eddie Valiant: Well, I took a couple of dirty pictures, so kill me.
Lt. Santino: I already got a stiff on my hands, thank you.
Eddie Valiant: Huh?
Lt. Santino: Marvin Acme. The rabbit cacked him last night.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lt. Santino: Just like a toon to drop a safe on a guy's head.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: I'm through with taking falls/And bouncing off the walls/Without that gun, I'd have some fun/I'd kick you in the
[bottle falls on his head]
Roger Rabbit: Nose.
Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme with "walls."
Eddie Valiant: No, but this does.
[He kicks Smartass in the crotch, propelling him into a vat of Dip]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Benny, is that you?
Benny the Cab: No, it's Eleanor Roosevelt.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Nice monkey suit.
Bongo: Huh. Wise ass.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Seriously, what do you see in that guy?
Jessica Rabbit: He makes me laugh.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Eddie sneaks up on Maroon]
Eddie Valiant: What's Up, Doc?
R.K. Maroon: Valiant, are you trying to give me a heart attack?
Eddie Valiant: You need a heart, before you can have an attack.
R.K. Maroon: Yeah, yeah. You got the will?
Eddie Valiant: Sure. I got the will. Question is, do you have the way? I can tell you now it ain't gonna come cheap.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Eddie is falling; Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny, both wearing parachutes, join him]
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up, Doc? Jumping without a parachute? Kinda dangerous, ain't it?
Mickey Mouse: Yeah. You could get killed. Heh, heh.
Eddie Valiant: Listen, do any of you have a spare?
Mickey Mouse: Uh, Bugs does.
Eddie Valiant: Really?
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, but I don't think you want it.
Eddie Valiant: I do, I do, give it to me.
Mickey Mouse: Gee, better let him have it, Bugs.
Bugs Bunny: Okay, Doc. Whatever you say. Here's the spare.
Eddie Valiant: Thanks
[Mickey and Bugs deploy parachutes; Eddie pulls ripcord on parachute, car tire comes out]
Eddie Valiant: OH, NO. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Mickey Mouse: Aw, poor fella.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, ain't I a stinker?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Benny the Cab: Sister Mary Frances. What the hell happened in here? I've been a cab for thirty-seven years, and I've never seen a mess like this.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: [moves the street line towards a wall, wacky woman crashes into the wall] Toons. Gets 'em every time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Jumpin' Jeepers.
Benny the Cab: Hey Roger, what do you call the middle of a song?
Roger Rabbit: Gee, I don't know- A BRIDGE.
[Benny jumps onto a bridge]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Daffy Duck: I've worked with a lot of withe-quackerth, but you are dethpicable
Donald F. Duck: Doggone stubborn little- That did it! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Daffy Duck: Thith ith the latht time I work with thomeone with a th-peech impediment.
Donald F. Duck: Oh, yeah?
Donald F. Duck: [shuts Daffy in a piano]
Daffy Duck: Thith meanth war.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Nice booby trap.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Bongo catches Eddie spying on Jessica]
Bongo: What do you think you're doing, chump?
Eddie Valiant: Who are you callin' a chump, chimp?
[Picks up Eddie and carries him to the backstage door]
Bongo: GRRRR!
[Throws Eddie into the garbage]
Eddie Valiant: AAAHH-OOF!
Bongo: Don't let me catch your peepin' face around here again. Got it? GRR!
[Slams door]
Eddie Valiant: OOGA-BOOGA!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: Stop that laughing. You know what happens when you can't stop laughing?
[hits two with a plunger, throws it at the chubby one]
Smart Ass: One of these days, you're gonna die laughing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: Don't make us play rough, Valiant. We just want the rabbit.
Roger Rabbit: What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do, Eddie? What are we gonna do?
Eddie Valiant: What's all this "we" stuff? They just want the rabbit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R.K. Maroon: Kinda jumpy, aren't you, Mr. Valiant? it's just Dumbo.
Eddie Valiant: I KNOW who it is.
R.K. Maroon: I got him on loan from Disney. Him and half the cast of Fantasia. the best part is, they work for peanuts.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I've still got it. Boo boo be do, boo.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Betty Boop: Cigars? Cigarettes?...Eddie Valiant!
Eddie Valiant: [turns around] Betty!
Betty Boop: Long time, no see!
Eddie Valiant: What are you doing here?
Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I still got it, Eddie! "Boop-boop-be-doop-*boop*!"
Eddie Valiant: [grins] Yeah. You still got it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: We got a reliable tip-off, Valiant, the rabbit was here! And it was corroborated by several others! For-get the bull-shki.
Eddie Valiant: Haven't seen 'im.
Smart Ass: [sniffs suspiciously at the sink] What's in there?
Eddie Valiant: [holds up a dirty sock] My lingere.
Smart Ass: [yelps, winces, and covers his nose]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Dolores, you need to find yourself a good man.
Dolores: But I already have a good man.
[they are about to kiss when Roger sighs - they turn to him]
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, don't mind me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Eddie is hanging on to a flagpole]
Tweety: Oh, wook! Piddies.
Eddie Valiant: Hi, Tweety.
Tweety: This wittle piddy went to market.
[removes one of Eddie's fingers from the pole]
Tweety: This wittle piddy stayed home.
[removes another one]
Eddie Valiant: No.
Tweety: This wittle piddy had roast beef,
[removes another one]
Tweety: and this wittle piddy had...
[Eddie falls]
Tweety: Uh-oh, wan outta piddies.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Doom: [while putting on a large black rubber glove] Since I've had Toontown under my jurisdiction my goal has been to reign in the insanity, and the only way to do that is to make Toons respect...
[lets the glove snap back onto his arm]
Judge Doom: ... the law.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Hide me Eddie... PLLLEASE. Remember you never saw me.
Eddie Valiant: GET OUT OF THERE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Boy, what is this, some kind of secret room?
Dolores: It's a rotgut room, holdover from Prohibition.
Roger Rabbit: Oh, I get it, a speakeasy, a gin mill, a hooch parlor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[first lines]
Mrs. Herman: Mommy's going to the beauty parlor, darling, but I'm leaving you with your favorite friend, Roger. He's going to take very, very good care of you, because if he doesn't... HE'S GOING BACK TO THE SCIENCE LAB.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR. That's my brother's chair.
Roger Rabbit: [looking at photo on desk] Yeah, where is your brother anyway? He looks like a sensitive and... SOBER fellow.
Eddie Valiant: That's it. I'm calling the cops.
Roger Rabbit: [leaving] Go ahead. Call the cops. I come here for help and what do you do? Yo turn me in. No, don't feel guilty about me. So long, and thanks for nothing.
[slams door]
Eddie Valiant: That's the closet! Stupe!
[enters the closet]
Roger Rabbit: [impersonating [ndaluar] Tracy] Eddie Valiant, you're under arrest.
[slaps handcuffs on Eddie]
Roger Rabbit: Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!
Eddie Valiant: You idiot. I got no keys for these cuffs.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lt. Santino: Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme.
Eddie Valiant: And R.K. Maroon. And my brother.
Lt. Santino: Now that's what I call one seriously disturbed toon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dolores: Well, you wanna tell me what she was doing with her arms around you?
Eddie Valiant: Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife.
Dolores: Oh come on Eddie, I caught you with your pants down.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Droopy Dog: [as a bellhop] Going up, sir?
[eddie walks and falls on the elevator]
Droopy Dog: [looking down from boxes] Mind the step, sir. Hold on, sir.
[Droopy pulls a lever and Eddie is pulled to the floor with his head up as the elevator goes up fast]
Droopy Dog: [pushing the lever to stop the elevator] Your floor sir.
[eddie gets out]
Droopy Dog: [with head stretch] Have a good day sir.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Benny the Cab: Ah, that's better. I can't believe they locked me up for driving on the sidewalk.
Roger Rabbit: Come on, Eddie, get in.
Benny the Cab: It was just a couple of miles.
Eddie Valiant: I'll drive.
Roger Rabbit: But I wanna drive.
Benny the Cab: No. I'll drive, I'm the cab. Outta my way, pencil neck.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Jeepers, Eddie. That was swell. You saved my life. How can I ever repay ya?
[kisses Eddie, Eddie pulls away]
Eddie Valiant: For starters, don't ever kiss me again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Judge Doom about to "dip" Roger]
Eddie Valiant: Hey, Judge. Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request?
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, nose plugs would be nice.
Eddie Valiant: I think you want a drink. So, how about it, Judge?
Judge Doom: Well, why not? I don't mind prolonging the execution.
Eddie Valiant: Happy trails.
Roger Rabbit: No thanks, Eddie. I'm trying to cut down.
Eddie Valiant: Drink the drink.
Roger Rabbit: But I don't want the drink.
Judge Doom: He doesn't want the drink.
Eddie Valiant: He does.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You do.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You do.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You do.
Roger Rabbit: I don't.
Eddie Valiant: You don't.
Roger Rabbit: I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't.
Roger Rabbit: I do.
Eddie Valiant: You don't.
Roger Rabbit: [taking drink] Listen, when I say I do, that means I do.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Doom: You see, Mr. Valiant, the successful conclusion of this case draws the curtain on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I'm retiring, taking a new role in the private sector.
Eddie Valiant: That wouldn't be Cloverleaf Industries, by any chance?
Judge Doom: You're looking at the sole stockholder.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Raoul. I can give you stars. Just drop the refrigerator on my head one more time.
Raoul J. Raoul: Roger, I've dropped it on your head 23 times already.
Roger Rabbit: I can take it, don't worry about me.
Raoul J. Raoul: I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about the refrigerator.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dolores: [catching Eddie with Jessica] Dabbling in watercolors, Eddie?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Scotch on the rocks. And I mean ice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jessica Rabbit: Well, we're not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours.
Eddie Valiant: I have a feeling someone already did.
Jessica Rabbit: From the looks of it I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel.
Eddie Valiant: Better lover than a driver, huh?
Jessica Rabbit: You'd better believe it, buster.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R.K. Maroon: Roger, I know this seems pretty painful now, but you'll find someone new. Won't he, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Good looking guy like that? Dames will be breaking his doors down.
Roger Rabbit: Dames? What dames?
[Angrily grabbing Eddie by the lapels]
Roger Rabbit: Jessica's the only one for me. You'll see. We'll rise above this piddling pecadillo. We're gonna be happy again. You got that? Happy. Capital H-A-P-P-I.
[Runs through window]
Eddie Valiant: At least he took it well.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[the Toons gather around Judge Doom's remains]
Mickey Mouse: Gosh, I wonder who he really was?
Bugs Bunny: I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit.
Daffy Duck: Or a duck.
Goofy: Or a dog.
Pinocchio: Or a little wooden boy.
Big Bad Wolf: Or a... sheep.
Woody Woodpecker: Or a woodpecker.
Sylvester: Or a [ndaluar].
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Eddie gets $50 for a $100 job]
Eddie Valiant: Where's the other fifty?
R.K. Maroon: Let's call the other fifty a carrot to finish the job.
Eddie Valiant: You've been hanging around rabbits too long.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dolores: Tomorrow's Friday, Eddie. You know what happens here on Friday?
Eddie Valiant: Fish special?
Dolores: You know my boss check the books on Friday. If I don't have that money I gave you on the till by Friday I'm going to lose my job.
Eddie Valiant: Don't bust a button, Dolores. You only have one left.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
R.K. Maroon: What are you going to do to me, Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: I'm going to listen to you spin the Cloverleaf scenario. The story of greed, sex and murder. And the parts that I don't like, I'm going to edit out.
R.K. Maroon: You got it all wrong, Valiant. I'm a cartoon maker, not a murderer.
Eddie Valiant: Everybody's gotta have a hobby.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[to Eddie]
Roger Rabbit: Is there nothing that can permeate that impervious puss?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bongo: Got the password?
Eddie Valiant: Walt sent me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: Look, Valiant, we got a reliable tip-off. The rabbit was here. It was corrugated by several others. So cut the bullshtick.
Eddie Valiant: You keep talking like that and I'll have to wash your mouth off.
[Sticks soap bar in Smartass' mouth]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: This singing ain't my line/ It's hard to make a rhyme/If I get stuck, I'm... I'm out of luck, I'm...
Jessica Rabbit: I'm running out of time.
Eddie Valiant: Thanks.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Keep it up, Eddie. You're killing 'em. You're slaying 'em. You're knocking 'em dead.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Benny, you go to the cops. I'm gonna save my wife.
Benny the Cab: Be careful with that gun. This ain't no cartoon, you know.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: Say, Judge. You want we should disresemble the place?
Judge Doom: No, Sergeant. Disassembling the place won't be necessary. The rabbit is going to come right to me.
[Doom taps "Shave and a Haircut" on counter]
Judge Doom: No toon can resist the old Shave-and-a-Haircut trick.
[Continues tapping]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: What could have possibly happen to you to turn you into such a sourpuss?
Eddie Valiant: You really want to know? I'll tell you. A toon killed my brother.
Roger Rabbit: A toon? No!
Eddie Valiant: Yes, a toon. We were investigating a robbery at the First National Bank of Toontown. Back in those days, me and Teddy liked working Toontown, thought it was a lot of laughs. Anyway, this guy got away with a zillion simoleons. We trailed him to a little dive down on Yukster Street. We went in. Only he got the drop on us, literally. Dropped a piano on us from fifteen stories. Broke my arm, Teddy never made it. I never did find out who that guy was. All I remember was him standing over me laughing, with those burning red eyes, and that high, squeaky voice. He disappeared into Toontown after that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: I'm glad Teddy isn't here to see me running with my tail between my legs.
Roger Rabbit: It's not so bad, once you get used to it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Weren't you the one I caught playing pattycake with old man Acme?
Jessica Rabbit: You didn't catch me, Mr. Valiant. You were set up to take those pictures.
Eddie Valiant: What are you talking about?
Jessica Rabbit: Maroon wanted to blackmail Acme. I didn't want to have anything to do with it, but he said that if I didn't pose for those pattycake pictures, Roger would never work in this town again. I couldn't let that happen. I'd do anything for my husband, Mr. Valiant. Anything.
[Presses her chest against Eddie's with a "thump"]
Eddie Valiant: What a wife.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Doom: Shave, and a haircut...
[Roger crashes through the wall]
Roger Rabbit: TWO BITS!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Forget it. I don't work Toontown.
R.K. Maroon: What's wrong with Toontown? Every Joe loves Toontown.
Eddie Valiant: Then get Joe to do the job, 'cause I ain't going.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not pattycake! It can't be! It just can't be! Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the love of my life. The apple of my eye. The cream in my coffee.
Eddie Valiant: Well you better start drinking it black, Acme's taking the cream now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jessica Rabbit: Oh, Roger. You were magnificent.
Roger Rabbit: Was I really?
Jessica Rabbit: Better than Goofy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: A ladies' man, eh?
Baby Herman: The problem is I got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky. Look, Valiant, the rabbit didn't kill Acme. He's not a murderer, I should know, he's a dear friend of mine. I tell ya Valiant, the whole thing stinks like yesterday's diapers. Look at this. The papers said Acme left no will. That's a load of succotash. Any toon knows Acme had a will. He promised to leave Toontown to us toons. That will is the real reason he got bumped off.
Eddie Valiant: Has anyone ever seen this will?
Baby Herman: Ah, no. But he gave us his solemn oath.
Eddie Valiant: If you think that guy could do anything solemn, the gag's on you, pal.
Baby Herman: I just thought that since you were the one who got my pal in trouble, you might wanna help get him out. I can pay ya.
Eddie Valiant: Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes.
[Pushes the stroller, knocks a woman over, Baby Herman's cigar falls to the floor]
Baby Herman: My stogie. WAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAAAAAA. WAAAAAAAAAAAAH
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that in a fit of jealousy you wrote your wife a love letter?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! I knew that she was just an innocent victim of circumstance.
Eddie Valiant: I suppose you used the old lipstick on the mirror routine.
Roger Rabbit: Lipstick, yes. Mirror, no. I found a nice, clean piece of paper.
[reading]
Roger Rabbit: "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three one-thousand. Four one-thousand. Five..."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Boy, did you see that? Nobody takes a wallop like Goofy. What timing! What finesse! What a genius!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Say, Eddie. That sure was a funny dance you did for the weasels. Do you think your days of being a sourpuss are over?
Eddie Valiant: Only time will tell.
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, well... put 'er there, pal.
[They shake hands; Eddie gets shocked by buzzer on Roger's hand; he glowers at Roger]
Roger Rabbit: Don't tell me you lost your sense of humor already?
Eddie Valiant: [Grabbing Roger by the throat] Does this answer your question?
[Eddie kisses Roger in the mouth]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Say, Roger. That letter you wrote to your wife at the Ink and Paint Club? Why don't you read it to her now?
Roger Rabbit: Sure thing, Eddie. "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I, Marvin Acme, of sound mind and body..."? It's the will!
Eddie Valiant: Keep reading.
Roger Rabbit: "... do hereby bequeath, in perpetuity, the property known as Toontown, to those lovable characters, the toons"!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: Nice shirt. Who's your tailor? Quasimodo?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Doom: I'm looking for a murderer. A rabbit. A toon rabbit...
[goes over to midget drinker and presses down on him and the midget squats]
Judge Doom: about YEEEEAAAA BIG.
Dolores: Well look, there's no Rabbit here. So don't come in here harrassing my customers.
Judge Doom: I didn't come here to harrass. I came here to reward.
[writes "Rabbit Dip $5,000" on the chalkboard with loud scratching noise]
Angelo: [wolf whistle] Hey, I seen a rabbit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Smart Ass: Hey Judge, what should we do with the wallflower?
[referring to Eddie who is now visible through the hole in the wall]
Judge Doom: [holding Roger by the neck] We'll settle with him later. Right now, I feel like dispensing some justice. Bring me some dip.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge Doom: [picks up the record from the record player - reads] "Merry-Go-Round Broke Down". What a looney selection for a dismal group of drunken reprobates.
[all the drinkers turn away and cough - Doom sniffs the record]
Judge Doom: HE'S HERE!
[throws record like a Frisbee into Smart Ass's mouth]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: She's married to Roger Rabbit?
Betty Boop: Yeah. What a lucky girl.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: So why come to me? I'm the one who took the pictures of your wife.
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, and you're also the one who helped all these toons. Everyone knows that when a toon's in trouble, there's only one place to go: Valiant & Valiant.
Eddie Valiant: Not anymore.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as Doom is searching for Roger by tapping "Shave and a Haircut"]
Eddie Valiant: I don't know who's toonier, you or Doom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: Can I borrow your camera? Mine's at the shop.
Dolores: Wouldn't be the pawn shop, by any chance?
Eddie Valiant: C'mon, Dolores. You want the other fifty, I need the camera.
[Dolores hands Eddie the camera]
Eddie Valiant: Any film in there?
Dolores: Should be. Haven't had that film developed since our trip to Catalina. Sure was a long time ago.
Eddie Valiant: Yeah. that was along time ago. We should do that again some time.
Dolores: Yeah, sure, Eddie.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: What are we going to do, Eddie? What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?
Eddie Valiant: What's all this we stuff? They just want the rabbit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[last lines]
Porky Pig: All right. M-m-m-ove along now. Th-th-there's nothing left to see here. That's all folks. Mmm, I like the sound of that.
Porky Pig: [turns to audience; iris closes in on Porky and "Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" plays on soundtrack]
Porky Pig: Th-th-th-that's all, folks!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Yosemite Sam, with his rear end on fire, lands near Eddie]
Yosemite Sam: Yeow! Ow! My biscuits are burnin'! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts!
[Sits in a puddle and extinguishes the fire]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: When you called Maroon, you told him you had the will, but you don't. When he finds out, he's gonna be mad. He might try to kill you.
Eddie Valiant: I can handle a Hollywood cream puff. I just don't want the odds to change. You stay here and cover my back. And if you see or hear anything, beep the horn twice.
Roger Rabbit: Yeah, beep the horn twice. Cover your back. Boy, I'm ready. Dukes up. Eyes peeled. Ears to the ground. Why, nobody gets the drop on Roger Rabbit.
[Roger is knocked out with a frying pan and dragged away]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Eddie. You know there's no justice for toons anymore. If the weasels get their hands on me, I'm as good as dipped.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddie Valiant: So, how long have you known it was Doom?
Jessica Rabbit: Before poor Marvin was killed, he confided in me that Judge Doom wanted to get his hands on Toontown, and he wouldn't stop at anything.
Eddie Valiant: So he gave you the will for safe keeping.
Jessica Rabbit: That's what he told me, except when I opened the envelope, there was only a blank piece of paper inside.
Eddie Valiant: Ha! A joker to the end.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birds: Hi, Eddie... hi, Eddie... hi, Eddie... bye, Eddie!
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Roger Rabbit: [singing] My friend is Eddie V. / A sourpuss, you'll see / But when I'm done, he'll need no gun / 'Cause a joker he will be / C-D-E-F-G-H-I / I... love to raise some Cain / Believe me, it's no strain / It feels so great to smash a plate / And look, 'cause there's no pain!
[Breaks plate on head]
Roger Rabbit: ... no pain!
[Breaks plate]
Roger Rabbit: ... no pain!
[keeps breaking plates until Eddie Valiant stops the stuck record]
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Benny the Cab: Well, fellas, where can I drop you?
Roger Rabbit: Somewhere we can hide.
Benny the Cab: I've got just the place. And incidentally, if you should ever need a ride, just stick out you thumb. Hey! Share the road, will ya, lady?
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Benny the Cab: And how about those Brooklyn Dodgers? Are they bums or what?
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Jessica Rabbit: Oh, Honey Bunny!
Roger Rabbit: Oh, Lovecup.
Jessica Rabbit: [kisses Roger] Oh, Roger! You were a pillar of strength.
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Eddie Valiant: Everything's funny to you, ain't it, needlenose?
Smart Ass: You got a problem with that, Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: No, I just want you to know something about the guy you're gonna dip.
[Pulls a lever on a calliope, which plays "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down"]
Eddie Valiant: [singing] Now Roger is his name / Laughter is his game / C'mon you dope, untie his rope / And watch him go insane.
[He starts dancing and tumbling around, as the weasels laugh]
Jessica Rabbit: He's lost his mind.
Roger Rabbit: I don't think so.
hells_kitchen
Forumium praecox
Re: Quotes from movie (2)
<font color="orange">TROY</font>
<font color="red[b">Hektor:</font>[/b] <font color="brown">All My Life I have lived by a Code. The Code is Simple. Honor the Gods, Love your Woman and Defend Your Country. TROY is mother to us ALL. FIGHT FOR HER!!!</font>
<font color="orange">TROY</font>
<font color="red[b">Hektor:</font>[/b] <font color="brown">All My Life I have lived by a Code. The Code is Simple. Honor the Gods, Love your Woman and Defend Your Country. TROY is mother to us ALL. FIGHT FOR HER!!!</font>