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Jeanette Winterson: The Passion

I began to think of leaving for France and though the thought of not seeing her each day froze my heart more cleanly than any zero winter, I remembered words of hers, words she had used when Patrick and she and I lay in a Russian hut drinking evil spirit...

There's no sense in loving someone you can only wake up to by chance.

They say this city can absorb anyone. It does seem that every nationality is here in some part. There are dreamers and poets and landscape painters with dirty noses and wanderers like me who came here by chance and never left. They are all looking for something, travelling the world and the seven seas but looking for a reason to stay. I'm not looking, I've found what it is I want and I can't have it. If I stayed, I would be staying not out of hope but out of fear. Fear of being alone, of being parted from a woman who simply by her presence makes the rest of my life seem shadows.

I say I'm in love with her. What does that mean?

It means I review my future and my past in the light of this feeling. It is as though I wrote in a foreign language that I am suddenly able to read. Wordlessly, she explains me to myself. Like genius, she is ignorant of what she does.

I was a bad soldier because I cared too much about what happened next. I could never lose myself in the cannonfire, in the moment of combat and hate. My mind ran before me with pictures of dead fields and all that had taken years to make, lost in a day or so.

I stayed because I had nowhere else to go.

I don't want to do that again.

Do all lovers feel helpless and valiant in the presence of the beloved? Helpless because the need to roll over like a pet dog is never far away. Valiant because you know you would slay a dragon with a pocket knife if you had to.

When I dream of a future in her arms no dark days appear, not even a head cold, and though I know it's nonsense I really believe we would always be happy and that our children would change the world.

I sound like those soldiers who dream of home...

No. She'd vanish for days at a time and I'd weep. She'd forget we had any children and leave me to take care of them. She'd gamble our house away at the Casino, and if I took her to live in France she'd grow to hate me.

I know all this and it makes no difference.

She'd never be faithful.

She'd laugh in my face.

I will always be afraid of her body because of the power it has.

And in spite of these things when I think of leaving, my chest is full of stones.

Infatuation. First love. Lust.

My passion can be explained away. But this is sure: whatever she touches, she reveals.
 

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Jeanette Winterson: Written on the Body

Why is the measure of love loss?

It hasn't rained for three months. The trees are prospecting underground, sending reserves of roots into the dry ground, roots like razors to open any artery water-fat.

The grapes have withered on the vine. What should be plump and firm, resisting the touch to give itself in the mouth, is spongy and blistered. Not this year the pleasure of rolling blue grapes between finger and thumb juicing my palm with musk. Even the wasps avoid the thin brown dribble. Even the wasps this year. It was not always so.

I am thinking of a certain September: Wood pigeon Red Admiral Yellow Harvest Orange Night. You said, "I love you." Why is it that the most unoriginal thing we can say to one another is still the thing we long to hear? "I love you" is always a quotation. You did not say it first and neither did I, yet when you say it and when I say it we speak like savages who have found three words and worship them. I did worship them but now I am alone on a rock hewn out of my own body.

CALIBAN
You taught me language and my profit on't is I know how to curse. The red plague rid you For learning me your language.
Love demands expression. It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not heard, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid. It is no conservationist love. It is a big game hunter and you are the game. A curse on this game. How can you stick at a game when the rules keep changing? I shall call myself Alice and play crocket with the flamingoes. In Wonderland everyone cheats and love is Wonderland isn't it? Love makes the world go round. Love is blind. All you need is love. Nobody ever died of a broken heart. You'll get over it. It'll be different when we're married. Think of the children. Time's a great healer. Still waiting for Mr. Right? Miss Right? and maybe all the little Rights?

It's the clichés that cause the trouble. A precise emotion seeks a precise expression. If what I feel is not precise then would I call it love? It is so terrifying, love, that all I can do is shove it under a dump bin of pink cuddly toys and send myself a greetings card saying `Congratulations on your Engagement'. But I am not engaged I am deeply distracted. I am desperately looking the other way so that love won't see me. I want the diluted version, the sloppy language, the insignificant gestures. The saggy armchair of clichés. It's all right, millions of bottoms have sat here before me. The springs are well worn, the fabric smelly and familiar. I don't have to be frightened, look, my grandma and grandad did it, he in stiff collar and club tie, she in white muslin straining a little at the life beneath. They did it, my parents did it, now I will do it won't I, arms outstretched, not to hold you, just to keep my balance, sleepwalking to that armchair. How happy we will be. How happy everyone will be. And they all lived happily ever after.
 

Kordelja

Valoris scriptorum
Re: Pjese librash

E kam ndier dhimbjen dy here, por ne menyra te ndryshme…..

Prekja do te thote vdekje. Nese nuk mbetet gje tjeter pervecse te cirresh kunder dhunes se te gjitha perpjekjeve, atehre dhembja eshte e thekshme eshte shija e deshtimit.
Heronjte i kerkojne vete katastrofat.Akilit i nevojitej thembra e tij; Heraklit nje kemishe; Johanes turra e druve.Dyshimet s’e deri ne c’mase ndikova une ne kete histori, do te me ndjekin pas per tere jeten.Qe atehere jam bere me i guximshem e njekohesisht me frikaman, kokekrisur, burracak e me indifferent.Ne kerkim te fitores, per t’i fshire kesisoj deshtimet nga hambaret e kujteses.Ne arratisje nga gjithcka qe mund te me pengoje flututimin.
……………………………………….
Avionet jane bere tani me te medhenj, me te sigurt,me te persosur.Jane bre te merzitshem me gjithe ate sofistikim teknik, duke i mohuar aftesite njerezore ne artin e fluturimit.
U jemi afruar se tepermi yjeve, por kemi harruar t’i soditim.

Ti, ti do te kesh aq yje, sa asnjeri nuk ka…………

……………………………………..
Isha larguar mjaft.Teper larg per te ndjere nxehtesine e zjarrit te saposhperthyer……………..
 

Kordelja

Valoris scriptorum
Re: Pjese librash

KURESHTJA DIAMETRALE

Donte te dinte problemin menjehere, drejtperdrejt, me nje logjike kaq precise, lakonike, saqe mund te bie ne perseritje pa fund, ne rast se perpiqem te shpjegoj se cfare donte te dinte ai.-Do ta mesosh, - i thashe, - por me pare, meso se nuk eshte ashtu sic mendon ti.
-Po si eshte atehere?- ngulmoi ai.
Une desha te gjej ndonje lidhje fjalesh, (apo te gjesh nje sidomos), por nje kapice fjalesh te perdorura me erren syte (fjalet e perdorura jane me te perdorura se rrobet e perdorura) desha pra te pergjigjem, por ngaqe nuk perdor rrobat e perdorura, fjalet e perdorra, desha te them, ai tha:
-E sheh qe je fajtore?
Une nuk shoh, - iu pergjigja, - une dalloj.
-Kjo eshte nje pergjigje qorri!- ma ktheu ai.
Ne te vertete as sot e kesaj dite nuk e di pergjigjen.Por dicka eshte e qarte per mua:
Menyra.
Ishte e paskrupullt.
Dhe kur menyra eshte e tille, nuk mundesh as te mendohesh.Logjika ime me vite ka agjeruar, dhe sa per burgjet, ju siguroj: si fenomene jane psiqike…
Nuk dua te flas per izolimin, sepse keshtu krijoj nje izolim te ri, por dua te them se ajo pyetje te cilen une nuk e mbaj mend, vazhdon te me behet edhe sot e kesaj dite, dhe une megjithese nuk e di kuptimin e pyetjes, pergjigjen aq me pak, per dicka jam e bindur.
-Nuk eshte sic e mendoni.
Ne te vertete pyetjet lindin nga vetembrojtja.Pyetja eshte nje gjepur, nuk ekziston.Nje gjepur e drejtperdrejte, tenton te godase m’u ne zemer te problemit, por ne kete menyre absorbohet ne te.
-Me do?- me pyeti
Kjo eshe nje pyetje qe une e mbaj mend si lidhje fenomenesh.Ne te une nuk gjej kurrfare kuptimi.
Dua te pergjigjem por pirgu i fjaleve te perdorura nuk leviz.Atehere c’mund te them!Une dalloj perbuzje ne syte e tij, perbuzje qe s’ka te beje me mua.Vetem kaq kuptoj: menyra, nuk ka lidhje me mua.
Dhe prape me vete perseris:
Nuk eshte ashtu sic mendon ti!
Per cudi, ai qe me beri pyetjen largohet duke me lene buze pirgut te fjaleve te perdorura.
Harresa zmadhon volumet sakaq une nuk i gjej kuptimin as mundimit per te kuptuar, por…. Nje e qeshur aty perjashta, flagrante, e papritur, provokuese, nje e qeshur femre…..ma kujton figuren e atij qe me beri pyetjen, figuren e turbullt fonetike si pyetja “Me do?” dhe ndersa nje shpejtim ma thekson gjakun, ndermend levizin te lehta fjalet e sapogjetura: do te shpetosh, do te shpetosh nga une….. do te shpetoni……..
Pastaj kjo une permbush ate qe eshte harresa ime (kaq jam une, harresa ime).Dhe asgje me tej s’me kujtohet.Kujtohet…Permendesh e di ate lloj menyre direkte, pa skrupull.Nuk e kuptoj dhe ndoshta nga kjo nuk pengohem prej saj duke mos penguar … ne ate perhumbje qe gjithsesi… nuk eshte ashtu sic e mendoni ju…………

Mimoza Ahmeti (Absurdi Koordinativ)
 

katana

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The Circular Ruins
Jorge Luis Borges

No one saw him disembark in the unanimous night, no one saw the bamboo canoe sink into the sacred mud, but in a few days there was no one who did not know that the taciturn man came from the South and that his home had been one of those numberless villages upstream in the deeply cleft side of the mountain, where the Zend language has not been contaminated by Greek and where leprosy is infrequent. What is certain is that the grey man kissed the mud, climbed up the bank with pushing aside (probably, without feeling) the blades which were lacerating his flesh, and crawled, nauseated and bloodstained, up to the circular enclosure crowned with a stone tiger or horse, which sometimes was the color of flame and now was that of ashes. This circle was a temple which had been devoured by ancient fires, profaned by the miasmal jungle, and whose god no longer received the homage of men. The stranger stretched himself out beneath the pedestal. He was awakened by the sun high overhead. He was not astonished to find that his wounds had healed; he closed his pallid eyes and slept, not through weakness of flesh but through determination of will. He knew that this temple was the place required for his invincible intent; he knew that the incessant trees had not succeeded in strangling the ruins of another propitious temple downstream which had once belonged to gods now burned and dead; he knew that his immediate obligation was to dream. Toward midnight he was awakened by the inconsolable shriek of a bird. Tracks of bare feet, some figs and a jug warned him that the men of the region had been spying respectfully on his sleep, soliciting his protection or afraid of his magic. He felt a chill of fear, and sought out a sepulchral niche in the dilapidated wall where he concealed himself among unfamiliar leaves.

The purpose which guided him was not impossible, though supernatural. He wanted to dream a man; he wanted to dream him in minute entirety and impose him on reality. This magic project had exhausted the entire expanse of his mind; if someone had asked him his name or to relate some event of his former life, he would not have been able to give an answer. This uninhabited, ruined temple suited him, for it is contained a minimum of visible world; the proximity of the workmen also suited him, for they took it upon themselves to provide for his frugal needs. The rice and fruit they brought him were nourishment enough for his body, which was consecrated to the sole task of sleeping and dreaming.

At first, his dreams were chaotic; then in a short while they became dialectic in nature. The stranger dreamed that he was in the center of a circular amphitheater which was more or less the burnt temple; clouds of taciturn students filled the tiers of seats; the faces of the farthest ones hung at a distance of many centuries and as high as the stars, but their features were completely precise. The man lectured his pupils on anatomy, cosmography, and magic: the faces listened anxiously and tried to answer understandingly, as if they guessed the importance of that examination which would redeem one of them from his condition of empty illusion and interpolate him into the real world. Asleep or awake, the man thought over the answers of his phantoms, did not allow himself to be deceived by imposters, and in certain perplexities he sensed a growing intelligence. He was seeking a soul worthy of participating in the universe.

After nine or ten nights he understood with a certain bitterness that he could expect nothing from those pupils who accepted his doctrine passively, but that he could expect something from those who occasionally dared to oppose him. The former group, although worthy of love and affection, could not ascend to the level of individuals; the latter pre-existed to a slightly greater degree. One afternoon (now afternoons were also given over to sleep, now he was only awake for a couple hours at daybreak) he dismissed the vast illusory student body for good and kept only one pupil. He was a taciturn, sallow boy, at times intractable, and whose sharp features resembled of those of his dreamer. The brusque elimination of his fellow students did not disconcert him for long; after a few private lessons, his progress was enough to astound the teacher. Nevertheless, a catastrophe took place. One day, the man emerged from his sleep as if from a viscous desert, looked at the useless afternoon light which he immediately confused with the dawn, and understood that he had not dreamed. All that night and all day long, the intolerable lucidity of insomnia fell upon him. He tried exploring the forest, to lose his strength; among the hemlock he barely succeeded in experiencing several short snatchs of sleep, veined with fleeting, rudimentary visions that were useless. He tried to assemble the student body but scarcely had he articulated a few brief words of exhortation when it became deformed and was then erased. In his almost perpetual vigil, tears of anger burned his old eyes.

He understood that modeling the incoherent and vertiginous matter of which dreams are composed was the most difficult task that a man could undertake, even though he should penetrate all the enigmas of a superior and inferior order; much more difficult than weaving a rope out of sand or coining the faceless wind. He swore he would forget the enormous hallucination which had thrown him off at first, and he sought another method of work. Before putting it into execution, he spent a month recovering his strength, which had been squandered by his delirium. He abandoned all premeditation of dreaming and almost immediately succeeded in sleeping a reasonable part of each day. The few times that he had dreams during this period, he paid no attention to them. Before resuming his task, he waited until the moon's disk was perfect. Then, in the afternoon, he purified himself in the waters of the river, worshiped the planetary gods, pronounced the prescribed syllables of a mighty name, and went to sleep. He dreamed almost immediately, with his heart throbbing.

He dreamed that it was warm, secret, about the size of a clenched fist, and of a garnet color within the penumbra of a human body as yet without face or sex; during fourteen lucid nights he dreampt of it with meticulous love. Every night he perceived it more clearly. He did not touch it; he only permitted himself to witness it, to observe it, and occasionally to rectify it with a glance. He perceived it and lived it from all angles and distances. On the fourteenth night he lightly touched the pulmonary artery with his index finger, then the whole heart, outside and inside. He was satisfied with the examination. He deliberately did not dream for a night; he took up the heart again, invoked the name of a planet, and undertook the vision of another of the principle organs. Within a year he had come to the skeleton and the eyelids. The innumerable hair was perhaps the most difficult task. He dreamed an entire man--a young man, but who did not sit up or talk, who was unable to open his eyes. Night after night, the man dreamt him asleep.

In the Gnostic cosmosgonies, demiurges fashion a red Adam who cannot stand; as a clumsy, crude and elemental as this Adam of dust was the Adam of dreams forged by the wizard's nights. One afternoon, the man almost destroyed his entire work, but then changed his mind. (It would have been better had he destroyed it.) When he had exhausted all supplications to the deities of earth, he threw himself at the feet of the effigy which was perhaps a tiger or perhaps a colt and implored its unknown help. That evening, at twilight, he dreamt of the statue. He dreamt it was alive, tremulous: it was not an atrocious bastard of a tiger and a colt, but at the same time these two firey creatures and also a bull, a rose, and a storm. This multiple god revealed to him that his earthly name was Fire, and that in this circular temple (and in others like it) people had once made sacrifices to him and worshiped him, and that he would magically animate the dreamed phantom, in such a way that all creatures, except Fire itself and the dreamer, would believe to be a man of flesh and blood. He commanded that once this man had been instructed in all the rites, he should be sent to the other ruined temple whose pyramids were still standing downstream, so that some voice would glorify him in that deserted ediface. In the dream of the man that dreamed, the dreamed one awoke.

The wizard carried out the orders he had been given. He devoted a certain length of time (which finally proved to be two years) to instructing him in the mysteries of the universe and the cult of fire. Secretly, he was pained at the idea of being seperated from him. On the pretext of pedagogical necessity, each day he increased the number of hours dedicated to dreaming. He also remade the right shoulder, which was somewhat defective. At times, he was disturbed by the impression that all this had already happened . . . In general, his days were happy; when he closed his eyes, he thought: Now I will be with my son. Or, more rarely: The son I have engendered is waiting for me and will not exist if I do not go to him.

Gradually, he began accustoming him to reality. Once he ordered him to place a flag on a faraway peak. The next day the flag was fluttering on the peak. He tried other analogous experiments, each time more audacious. With a certain bitterness, he understood that his son was ready to be born--and perhaps impatient. That night he kissed him for the first time and sent him off to the other temple whose remains were turning white downstream, across many miles of inextricable jungle and marshes. Before doing this (and so that his son should never know that he was a phantom, so that he should think himself a man like any other) he destroyed in him all memory of his years of apprenticeship.

His victory and peace became blurred with boredom. In the twilight times of dusk and dawn, he would prostrate himself before the stone figure, perhaps imagining his unreal son carrying out identical rites in other circular ruins downstream; at night he no longer dreamed, or dreamed as any man does. His perceptions of the sounds and forms of the universe became somewhat pallid: his absent son was being nourished by these diminution of his soul. The purpose of his life had been fulfilled; the man remained in a kind of ecstasy. After a certain time, which some chronicles prefer to compute in years and others in decades, two oarsmen awoke him at midnight; he could not see their faces, but they spoke to him of a charmed man in a temple of the North, capable of walking on fire without burning himself. The wizard suddenly remembered the words of the god. He remembered that of all the creatures that people the earth, Fire was the only one who knew his son to be a phantom. This memory, which at first calmed him, ended by tormenting him. He feared lest his son should meditate on this abnormal privilege and by some means find out he was a mere simulacrum. Not to be a man, to be a projection of another man's dreams--what an incomparable humiliation, what madness! Any father is interested in the sons he has procreated (or permitted) out of the mere confusion of happiness; it was natural that the wizard should fear for the future of that son whom he had thought out entrail by entrail, feature by feature, in a thousand and one secret nights.

His misgivings ended abruptly, but not without certain forewarnings. First (after a long drought) a remote cloud, as light as a bird, appeared on a hill; then, toward the South, the sky took on the rose color of leopard's gums; then came clouds of smoke which rusted the metal of the nights; afterwards came the panic-stricken flight of wild animals. For what had happened many centuries before was repeating itself. The ruins of the sanctuary of the god of Fire was destroyed by fire. In a dawn without birds, the wizard saw the concentric fire licking the walls. For a moment, he thought of taking refuge in the water, but then he understood that death was coming to crown his old age and absolve him from his labors. He walked toward the sheets of flame. They did not bite his flesh, they caressed him and flooded him without heat or combustion. With relief, with humiliation, with terror, he understood that he also was an illusion, that someone else was dreaming him.
 

katana

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Re: Pjese librash

The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Milan Kundera

(translated from Czech by Michael Henry Heim)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

-- first two chapters

Part I (Lightness and Weight), Section 2

If every second of our lives recurs an infinite number of times, we
are nailed to eternity as Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross. It is
a terrifying prospect. In the world of eternal return the weight of
unbearable responsibility lies heavy on every move we make. That is
why Neitzsche called the idea of eternal return the heaviest of
burdens (das schwerste Gewicht).

If eternal return is the heavist of burdens, then our lives can stand
out against it in all their splendid lightness.

But is heaviness truly deplorable and lightness splendid?

The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to
the ground. But in the love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be
weighed down by the man's body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore
simultaneously an image of life's most intense fulfillment. The
heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more
real and truthful they become.

Conversely, the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter
than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his
earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as
they are insignificant.

What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?

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Part III (Words Misunderstood), Section 2

The bowler hat was a motif in the musical composition that was
Sabina's life. It returned again and again, each time with a different
meaning, and all the meanings flowed through the bowler hat like water
through a riverbed. I might call it Heraclitus' ("you can't step twice
into the same river") riverbed: the bowler hat was a bed through which
each time Sabina saw another river flow, another semantic river: each
time the same object would give rise to a new meaning, though all
former meanings would resonate (like an echo, like a parade of echoes)
together with the new one. Each new experience would resound, each
time enriching the harmony. The reason why Tomas and Sabina were
touched by the sight of the bowler hat and made love almost in tears
was that its black presence was not merely a reminder of their love
games but was also a memento of Sabina's father and her grandfather,
who lived in a century without airplanes and cars.

Now, perhaps, we are in a better position to understand the abyss
separating Sabina and Franz: he listened eagerly to the story of her
life and she was equally eager to hear the story of his, but although
they had a clear understanding of the logical meaning of the words
they exchanged, they failed to hear the semantic susurrus of the river
flowing through them.

------------ Section 7

"Living In Truth"

Such is the formula set forth by Kafka somewhere in the diaries or
letters. Franz couldn't quite remember where. But it captivated
him. What does it mean to live in truth? Putting it negatively is easy
enough: it means not lying, not hiding, and not dissumulating. From
the time he met Sabina, however, Franz has been living his lies. He
told his life about nonexistent congresses in Amsterdam and lectures
in Madrid; he was afraid to walk with Sabina through the streets of
Geneva. [...]

For Sabina, living in truth, lying neither to ourselves nor to others,
was possible only away from public: the moment someone keeps an eye on
what we do, we involuntarity make allowances for that eye, and nothing
we do is truthful. Having a public, keeping a public in mind, means
living in lies. Saina despised literature in which people give away
all kinds of intimate secrets about themselves and their friends. A
man who loses his privacy loses everything, Sabina thought. And a man
who gives it up of his own free will is a monster. That was why Sabina
did not suffer in the least from keeping her love secret. On the
contrary, only by doing so could she live in truth.

Franz, on the other hand, was certain that the division of life into
private and public spheres is the source of all lies: a person is one
thing in private and something quite different in public. For Franz,
living in truth meant breaking down the barriers between the private
and the public. He was fond of quoting Andre Breton on the desirability
of living "in a glass house" into which everyone can look and there
are no secrets.

-- Section 10

After four years in Geneva, Sabina settled in Paris, but she could
not escape her melancholy. If someone had asked her what had come
over her, she would have been hard pressed to find words for it.

When we want to give expression to a dramatic situation in our lives,
we tend to to use expressions of heaviness. We way that something has
become a great burden to us. We either bear the burden or fail and
go down with it, we struggle with it, win or lose. And Sabina - what
had come over her? Nothing. She had left a man because she felt like
leaving him. Had he persecuted her? Had he tried to take revenge on
her? No. Her drama was not one of heaviness but of lightness. What
fell to her lot was not the burden but the unbearable lightness of
being.

Until that time, her betrayals had filled her with excitement and joy,
because they opened up new paths to new adventures of betrayal. But
what if the paths came to an end? One could betray one's parents,
husband, country, love, but when parents, husband, country, and love
were gone - what was left to betray?

Sabina felt emptiness all around her. What if that emptiness was the
goal of all her betrayals?

Naturally she had not realized until now. How could she have? The
goals we pursue are always veiled. The girl who longs for marriage
longs for something she knows nothing about. The boy who hankers after
fame has no idea what fame is. The thing that gives our every move its
meaning is always totally unknown to us. Sabina was unaware of the
goal that lay behind her longing to betray. The unbearable lightness
of being - was that the goal?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Part IV (Soul and Body), Section 11

Much more than the card he slipped her at the last minute, it was the
call of all those fortuities (the book, Beethoven, the number six, the
yellow park bench) which gave her the courage to leave home and change
her fate. It may well be those few fortuities (quite modest, by the
way, even drab, just what one would expect from so lackluster a town)
which set her love in motion and provided her with a source of energy
which she had not yet exhausted at the end of her days.

Our day-to-day life is bombarded with fortuities or, to be more
precise, with the accidental meetings of people and events we call
coincidences. "Co-incidence" means that two events unexpectedly happen
at the same time, they meet: Tomas appears in the hotel restaurant at
the same time the radio is playing Beethoven. We do not even notice
the great majority of such coincidences. If the seat Tomas occupied
had been occupied instead by the local butcher, Tereza would never
have noticed that the radio was playing Beethoven (though the meeting
of Beethoven and the butcher would also have been an interesting
coincidence). But her nascent love inflamed her sense of beauty, and
she would never forget that music. Whenever she heard it, she would be
touched. Everything going on around her at that moment would be haloed
by the music and take on its beauty.

Early in the novel [Anna Karenina] that Tereza clutched under her
arm when she went to visit Thomas, Anna meets Vronsky in curious
circumstances: they are at the railway station when someone is run
over by a train. At the end of the novel, Anna throws herself under a
train. This symmetrical composition -- the same motif appears at the
beginning and at the end -- may seem quite "novelistic" to you, and I
am willing to agree, but only on the condition that you refrain from
reading such notions as "fictive", "fabricated", and "untrue to life"
into the word "novelistic". Because human lives are composed in
precisely such a fashion. They are composed like music. Guided by this
sense of beauty, an individual transforms a fortuitous occurrence
(Beethoven's music, death under a train) into a motif, which then
assumes a permanent place in the composition of the individual. Anna
could have chosen another way to take her life. But the motif of death
and the railway station, unforgettably bound to the birth of love,
enticed her in her hour of despair with its dark beauty. Without
realizing it, the individual composes his life according to the laws
of beauty even in times of greatest distress.

It is wrong, then, to chide the novel for being fascinated by
mysterious coincidences (like the meeting of Anna, Vronsky, the
railway station, and death or the meeting of Beethoven, Tomas, Tereza
and the cognac), but it is right to chide man for being blind to such
coincidences in his daily life. For he thereby deprives his life of a
dimension of beauty.

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Part V (Lightness and Weight), Section 15

What then should he have done? Sign or not?

Another way of formulating the question is, Is it better to shout and
thereby hasten the end, or to keep silent and gain thereby a slower
death?

Is there any answer to these questions?

And once again he thought the thought we already know: Human life
occurs only once, and the reason we cannot determine which of our
decisions is good and which bad is that in a given situation we can
only make one decision; we are not granted a second, third, or fourth
life in which to compare various decisions.

History is similar to individual lives in this respect. There is only
one history of the Czechs. One day it will come to an end as surely as
Tomas's life, never to be repeated.

In 1618, the Czech estates took courage and vented their ire on the
emperor reigning in Vienna by pitching two of his high officials out
of a window in the Prague Castle. Their defiance led to the Thirty
Years War, which in turn led to the almost complete destruction of the
Czech nation. Should the Czechs have shown more caution than courage?
The answer may seem simple; it is not.

Three hundred and twenty years later, after the Munich Conference of
1938, the entire world decided to sacrifice the Czechs's country to
Hitler. Should the Czechs have tried to stand up to a power eight
times their size? In contrast to 1618, they opted for caution. Their
capitulation led to the Second World War, which in turn led to the
forfeit of their nation's freedom for many decades or even centuries.
Should they have shown more courage than caution? What should they
have done?

If Czech history could be repeated, we should of course find it
desirable to test the other possibility each time and compare the
results. Without such an experiment, all considerations of this kind
remain a game of hypotheses.

Einmal ist Keinmal. What happens but once may as well not have
happened at all. The history of the Czechs will not be repeated, nor
will the history of Europe. The history of the Czechs and of Europe is
a pair of sketches from the pen of mankind's fateful inexperience.
History is as light as individual human life, unbearably light, light
as a feather, as dust swirling into the air, as whatever will no
longer exist tomorrow.

Once more, and with a nostalgia akin to love, Tomas thought of the
tall, stooped editor. The man acted as though history were a finished
picture rather than a sketch. He acted as though everything he did
were to be repeated endlessly, to return eternally, without the
slightest doubt about his actions. He was convinced he was right, and
for him that was a sign not of narrowmindedness but of virtue. Yes,
that man lived in a history different from Tomas's: a history that was
not (or did not realize it was) a sketch.

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Part VI (The Grand March)

Stalin's son had a hard time of it. All evidence points to the
conclusion that his father killed the woman by whom he had the
boy. Young Stalin was therefore both the Son of God (beacuse his
father was revered like God) and His cast-off. People feared him
two-fold: he could injure them both by his wrath (he was, after all,
Stalin's son) and his favor (his father might punish his cast-off
son's friends in order to punish him).

Rejection and privilege, happiness and woe -- no one felt more
concretely than Yakov how interchangeable opposites are how stop the
step from one pole of human existence to the other.
...

If rejection and privilege are one and the same, if there is no
difference between sublime and paltry, if the Son of God can undergo
judgement for shit, then human existence loses its dimensions and
becomes unbearably light. When Stalin's son ran up to the electrified
fence and hurled his body at it, the fence was like the pan of a
scales sticking pitifully up in the air, lifted by the infinite
lightness of a world that has lost its dimensions.

Stalin's son laid down his life for shit. But a death for shit is not
a senseless death. The Germans who sacrified their lives to expand
thier country's territory to the east, the Russians who died to extend
their country's power to the west -- yes, they did for something
idiotic, and their deaths have no meaning or general validity. Amid
the general idiocy of the war, the death of Stalin's son stands out as
the sole metaphysical death.

---

Behind all the European faiths, religious and political, we find the
first chapter of GEnesis, which tells us that the world was created
properly, that human existence is good, and that we are therefore
entitled to multiply. Let us call this basic faith a 'categorical
agreement with being'.

The fact that until recently the word "shit" appeared in print as
"s---" has nothing to do with moral considerations. You can't claim
that shit is immoral, after all! The objection to shit is a
metaphysical one. The daily defecation session is daily proof of the
unacceptability of Creation. Either/or: either shit is acceptable (in
which case don't lock yourself in the bathroom!) or we are created in
an unacceptable manner.

It follows, then, that the aesthetic ideal of the categorical
agreement with being is a world in which shit is denied and everyone
acts as though it did not exist. This aesthetic ideal is called
'kitsch'. ... Repeated use, however, has obliterated its original
metaphysical meaning: kitsch is the absolute denial of shit, in both
the literal and the figurative senses of the word; kitsch excludes
everything from its purview which is essentially unacceptable in human
existence.

(13)

Since the days of the French revolution, one half of Europe has been
referred to as the left, the other half as the right. Yet to define
one or the other by means of the theoretical principles it professes
it all but impossible. And no wonder: political movements rest not so
much on rational attitudes as on the fantasies, images, words, and
archtypes that come together to make up this or that 'political
kitsch'.

The fantasy of the Grand March that Franz was so intoxicated by is the
political kitsch joining leftists of all times and tendencies. The
Grand March is the splended march on the road to brotherhood, equality,
justice, happiness; it goes on and on, obstacles notwitstanding, for
obstacles there must be if the march is to be the Grand March.
...
What makes a leftist is not this or that theory but the ability to
integrate any theory into the kitsch called the Grand March.

(29)

What remains of the dying population of Cambodia?

One large photograph of an American actress holding an Asian child in
her arms.

What remains of Tomas?

An inscription reading HE WANTED THE KINGDOM OF GOD ON EARTH.

What remains of Beethoven?

A frown, an improbable mane, and a somber voice intoning "Es Muss Sein!"

What remains of Franz?

An inscription reading A RETURN AFTER LONG WANDERINGS.

And so on and so forth. Before we are forgotten, we will be turned
into kitsch. Kitsch is the stopover between being and oblivion.

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Part VII (Karenin's Smile)

The collective farm chairman became a truly close friend. He had a wife,
four children, and a pig he raised like a dog. The pig's name was Mefisto,
and he was the pride and main attraction of the village. He would answer
his master's call and was always clean and pink; he paraded about on his
hoofs like a heavy-thighed woman in high heels.

(4)

Why was the word "idyll" so important to Tereza?

Raised as were on the mythology of the Old Testament, we might say
that an idyll is an image that has remained with us like a memory of
Paradise; life in Paradise was not like following a straight line to
the unknown; it was not an adventure. It moved in a circle among known
objects. Its monotony bred happiness, not boredom.
 

katana

Primus registratum
Re: Pjese librash

From "Funes the Memorious", by Jorge Luis Borges

The voice of Funes, out of the darkness, continued. He told me that
toward 1886 he had devised a new system of enumeration and that in a
very few days he had gone before twenty-four thousand. He had not
written it down, for what he once meditated would not be erased. The
first stimulus to his work, I believe, had been his discontent with the
fact that "thirty-three Uruguayans" required two symbols and three
words, rather than a single word and a single symbol. Later he applied
his extravagant principle to the other numbers. In place of seven
thousand thirteen, he would say (for example) Máximo Perez; in place of
seven thousand fourteen, The Train; other numbers were Luis Melián
Lafinur, Olimar, Brimstone, Clubs, The Whale, Gas, The Cauldron,
Napoleon, Agustín de Vedia. In lieu of five hundred, he would say nine.
Each word had a particular sign, a species of mark; the last were very
complicated ... I attempted to explain that this rhapsody of unconnected
terms was precisely the contrary of a system of enumeration. I said that
to say three hundred and sixty-five was to say three hundreds, six tens,
five units: an analysis which does not exist in such numbers as The
Negro Timoteo or The Flesh Blanket. Funes did not understand me, or did
not wish to understand me.

Locke, in the seventeenth century, postulated (and rejected) an
impossible idiom in which each individual object, each stone, each bird
and branch had an individual name; Funes had once projected an analogous
idiom, but he had renounced it as being too general, too ambiguous. In
effect, Funes not only remembered every leaf on every tree of every
wood, but even every one of the times he had perceived or imagined it.
He determined to reduce all of his past experience to some seventy
thousand recollections, which he would later define numerically. Two
considerations dissuaded him: the thought that the task was interminable
and the thought that it was useless. He knew that at the hour of his
death he would scarcely have finished classifying even all the memories
of his childhood.

The two projects I have indicated (an infinite vocabulary for the
natural series of numbers, and a usable mental catalogue of all the
images of memory) are lacking in sense, but they reveal a certain
stammering greatness. They allow us to make out dimly, or to infer, the
dizzying world of Funes. He was, let us not forget, almost incapable of
general, platonic ideas. It was not only difficult for him to understand
that the generic term dog embraced so many unlike specimens of differing
sizes and different forms; he was disturbed by the fact that a dog at
three-fourteen (seen in profile) should have the same name as the dog at
three-fifteen (seen from the front). His own face in the mirror, his own
hands, surprised him on every occasion. Swift writes that the emperor of
Lilliput could discern the movement of the minute hand; Funes could
continuously make out the tranquil advances of corruption, of caries, of
fatigue. He noted the progress of death, of moisture. He was the
solitary and lucid spectator of a multiform world which was
instantaneously and almost intolerably exact. Babylon, London, and New
York have overawed the imagination of men with their ferocious
splendour; no one, in those populous towers or upon those surging
avenues, has felt the heat and pressure of a reality as indefatigable as
that which day and night converged upon the unfortunate Ireneo in his
humble South American farmhouse.

--------------------------------------------------------------

From 'The Aleph'

"It's in the cellar under the dining room", he went on, so overcome by
his worries that he forgot to be pompous. "It's mine -- mine. I
discovered it when I was a child, all by myself. The cellar stairway is
so steep that my aunt and uncle forbade me using it, but I'd heard
someone say there was a world down there. I found out later they meant an
old-fashioned globe of the world, but at the time I thought they were
referring to the world itself. One day when no one was home I started
down in secret, but I stumbled and fell. When I opened my eyes, I saw
the Aleph."

"The Aleph?" I repeated.

"Yes, the only place on earth where all places are seen from everyangle,
each standing clear, without any confusion or blending. I kept the
discovery to myself and went back every chance I got ..."

I tried to reason with him. "But isn't the cellar very dark?" I said.

"Truth cannot penetrate a closed mind. If all paces in the universe are
in the Aleph, then all starts, all lamps, all sources of light are in
it, too."
...

I shut my eyes -- I opened them. Then I saw the Aleph.
[...]
On the back part of the step, toward the right, I saw a small iridescent
sphere of almot unbearable brilliance. At first, I thought it was
revolving; then I realized that this movement was an illusion created by
the almost dizzying world it bounded. The Aleph's diameter was probably
little more than an inch, but all space was there, actual and
undiminished. Each thing (a mirror's face, let us say) was infinite
things, since I distinctly saw it from every angle of the universe. I
saw the teeming sea; I saw daybreak and nightfall; I saw the multitudes
of America; I saw a silvery cobweb in the center of a black pyramid; I
saw a splintered labyrinth (it was London); I saw, close up, unending
eyes watching themselves in me as in a mirror; I saw all the mirrors of
Earth and none of them reflected me; I saw in a backyard of Soler street
the same tiles that thirty years before I'd seen in the entrance of a
house in Fray Bentos; I saw bunches of grapes, snow, tobacco, lodes of
metal, steam; I saw convex equatorial deserts and each one of their
grains of sand; I saw a woman in Inverness whom I shall never forget; I
saw her tangled hair, her tall figure, I saw the cancer in her breast; I
saw a rind of baked mud in a sidewalk, where before there had been a
tree; I saw a summer house in Adrogue and a copy of the first English
translation of Pliny - Philemon Holland's - and all at the same time saw
each letter one ach page (as a boy, I used to marvel that the letters in
a closed book did not get scrambled and lost overnight); I saw a sunset
in Queretaro that seemed to reflect the color of a rose in Bengal; I saw
my empty bedroom; I saw in a closet in Alkmaar a terrestrial globe
between two mirrors that multiplied it endlessly; I saw horses with
flowing manes on a shore of the Caspian Sea at dawn; I saw the delicate
bone structure of ahand; I saw the survivors of a battle sending out
picture postcards; I saw in a showcase in Mirzapur a pack of Spanish
playing cards; I saw the slanting shadows of ferns on a greenhouse
floor; I saw tigers, pistons, bison, tides, and armies; I saw all the
ants on the planet; I saw a Persian astrolabe; I saw in the drawer of a
writing table (and the handwriting made me tremble) unbelievable,
obscene, detailed letters, which Beatriz had written to Carlos
Argentino; I saw a monument I worshipped in the Chacarita cemetery; I
saw the rotted dust and bones that had once deciously been Beatriz
Viterbo; I saw the circulation of my own dark blood; I saw the coupling
of love and the modification of death; I saw the Aleph from every point
and angle, and in the Aleph I saw the earth and in the earth the Aleph
and in the Aleph the earth; I saw my own face and my own bowels; I saw
your face; and I felt dizzy and wept, for my eyes had seen that secret
and conjectured object whose name is common to all men but which no man
had looked upon - the unimaginable universe.

-------------------------------------------------------
From 'The Zahir'

I asked for a brandy. They gave me the Zahir in change. I stared at it
for a momentand went out in the street, perhaps with the beginnings of a
fever. I reflected that every coin in the world in a symbol of those
famous coins which glitter history and fable. I thought of Charon's
obol; of the obol for which Belisarius begged; of Judas's thirty coins;
of the drachmas of Lais, the famous courtesan; of the ancient coin which
one of the Seven Sleepers proferred; of the shining coins of the wizard
in The 1001 Nights, that turned out to be bits of paper; of the
inexhaustible penny of Isaac Laquedem; of the 60,000 pieces of silver,
one for each line of an epic, which Firdusi sent back to a king because
they were not of gold; of the doubloon which Ahab nailed to the mast; of
Leopold Bloom's irreversible florin; of the louis whose pictured face
betrayed the fugitive Louis XVI near Varennes. As if in a dream, the
thought that every piece of money entals such illustrious connotations
as these, seemed to be of huge, though inexplciable, importance.

...

Belief in the Zahir is of Islamic origin, and seems to date from the
eighteenth century. Zahir in Arabic means "notorious", "visible"; in
this sense it is one of the the ninety-nine names of God, and the people
(in Muslim territories) use it to signify "beings or things which
possess the terrible property of being unforgettable, and whose image
finally drives one mad". [...] In about 1832, Taylor heard the unusual
expression "verily he has looked on the Tiger" to signify madness or
saintliness. He was informed that the referene was to a magic tiger
which was the ruin of whoever beheld it, even from far away, since the
beholder continued to think about it to the end of this days. Someone
said that one of these unfortunates had fled to Mysore, where he pained
the fiture of the tiger on the walss of some palace. Years later, Taylor
was inspecting the jails of the kingdom; and in one at Nittur the
governor showed him a cell where the floor, the walls, and the ceiling
had been covered, in barbaric colors which time was subtilizing before
erasing them, by a a Muslim fakir's elaboration of a kind of Infinite
Tiger. This Tiger was composed of many tigers in the most vertiginous
fashion; it was traversed by tigers, scored by tigers, and it contained
seas and Himalayas and armies which seemed to reveal still other tigers.
The painter had died many years ago in this very cell; he had come from
Sind, or maybe Guzerat, and his original purpose had been to design a
map of the world. Indeed, some traces of this were yet to be discerned
in the monstrous image ... Taylor told the story to Mohammed Al-Yemeni,
of Fort William; Mohammed informed him that there was no created thing
in this world which could not take on the properties of Zaheer, but that
the All-Merciful does not allow two things to be it as the same time,
since one alone is able to fascinate multitudes. He said that there is
alwas a Zahir; that in the Age of Innocence it was an idol named Yauq;
and later, a prophet of Jorasan who used to wear a veil embroidered with
stones, or a golden mask. He also said God is inscrutable.

I read Barlach's monograph -- read it and reread it [...] And I also
remember odd anxiety with which I studed this paragraph: "A commentator
on the Gulshan i Raz says that he who has seen the Zahir will soon see
the Rose; and he cites a verse interpolated in the Asrar Nama of Attar:
'The Zahir is the shadow of the Rose, and the Rending of the Veil.'"

Time, which generally attenuates memories, only aggravates that of the
Zahir. There was a time when I could visualize the obverse, and then the
reverse. Now I see them simultaneously. This is not though as the Zahir
were crystal, because it is not a matter of one face being superimposed
upon another; rather, it is as though my eyesight were spherical with
the Zahir in the center. Whatever is not the Zahir comes to me
fragmentarily, as if from a great distance; the arrogant image of
Clementina; physical pain. Tennyson once said that if we could
understand a single flower, we should know what we are and what the
world is. [...] The Cabbalists pretend that man is a microcosm, a
symbolic mirror of the universe; according to Tennyson, everything would
be. Everything, even the intolerable Zahir.

Before 1948 Julia's destiny will have caught up with me. They will have
to feed me and dress me, I shall not know whether it is afternoon or
morning, I shall not now sho Borges was. To cal lthis prospect terrible
is a fallacy, for none of its circumstances will exist for me. One might
as well say that an anesthetized man feels terrible pain when they open
his cranium. I shall no longer perceive the universe; I shall percieve
the Zahir. According to the teaching of the Idealists, the words "live"
and "dream" are rigorously synonomous. From thousands of images I shall
pass to one; from a highly complex dream to a dream of utter simpicity.
Others will dream that I am mad; I shall dream of the Zahir. When all
the men on earth think, day and night, of the Zahir, what will be a
dream and which a reality - the earth or the Zahir?

... In order to lose themselves in God, the Sufis recite their own
names, or the ninety-nine divine names, until they become meaningless. I
long to travel that path. Perhaps I shall conclude by wearing away the
Zahir simply through thinking of it again and again. Perhaps behind the
coin I shall find God.
 
Re: Pjese librash

Te kam shume xhan! Perqafime. Borges eshte ndoshta shkrimtari im i preferuar, kisha kohe qe doja te postoja dicka ketu po s'kam gjetur asnje tekst te tij ne linje pervec, Borges and I. Desha te pyes i ke shkruar te gjitha vete apo i ke kopjuar nga ndonje adrese, nese eshte kjo e fundit a ka mundesi ta postosh ketu adresen?

Nje pjese, sidomos nga fundi of "The Immortals" and The Book of Sand do ishin fantastike fare :thumbsup:
 
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