Re: Monologu me i famshem.....
HANA (V.O.)
When I am truly alone, I loose the concept of time. The fulfillment of my needs and aspirations has no schedule. It does not race with other people’s achievements, so I do not feel left behind, I’m not driven to run ahead of others. Alone, I do not strive for fulfillment in any sense, I watch my needs grow, i simply affirm their existence, I nourish my needs with my dreams and my needs nourish my fantasies. Everything is wrapped within my own existence, living within the bubble of loneliness. I no longer look forward to joining the crowds of friends, who ultimately would drive us into even more crowded places. Being social for me means loosing myself into the net that society has laid around the individuals.
I do not trust the social movements because I believe that society is fatally faulted.
The most difficult thing for the society is to accept its limits, to affirm its weakness and ignorance, to adjust to its continuous failure. Society is like a crowd of people who are always talking and laughing loud. They seem happy, and maybe they are, but the louder and the happier the crowd is, the deeper the paradox of society: a flock of lonely folks running toward any social identity, only so they can avoid facing themselves. Man is a wilderness deeper and more mysterious than any jungle; self is the most unexplored area on earth. When facing loneliness, one faces the real wilderness, a narrow path through one’s own conscious and unconscious drives, needs and choices. No school, no training, noone can prepare you for this unknown, most alien domain of all. When the mask that society lays over my own identity is teared off, I see myself, I understand myself. In the end the only real universe is the one I am able to percept. Alone, thrown at a corner, struggling against perpetual deprivation, counting the probabilities of one’s own extinction I exist alone. Loneliness is like a bubble. From afar, in a crowd’s eyes, it may seem a miserable place to live in, but it could be a blessing too. More and more often, I feel happy inside my bubble. Noone to stir my world. I arrange people and things the way I want, the way world makes sense to me, the way the world should be, according to my needs.