The Top Ten Donts For Mainitaining a Great Relationship
1. Don’t lie or keep secrets from each other. Lies and secrets create an atmosphere of distance and mistrust.</p>
2. Don’t put each other down. An atmosphere of criticism and complaint destroys love, no matter how good your intentions.</p>
3. Don’t shirk your responsibilities or shift them onto your partner. Assume that 60 percent of your relationship and 60 percent of your lives together is your responsibility.</p>
4. Don’t act miserable or gloomy. Nothing says “get away from me” louder than negativity. And you can’t excuse yourself by calling this “being real” or “being myself. Whatever you call it, it is putting sand in the motor of your relationship.</p>
5. Don’t spend too little time together. Every minute you spend really concentrating on each other is like putting money in your love bank.</p>
6. Don’t have fights that go nowhere in which you say nasty things to each other. Fighting is normal. But the real hidden purpose in fights is to bring out new information and create a basis for solving problems. Fights are not about signing blame. And they are not about going over and over the same material you have beaten to death before.\\</p>
7. Don’t cry to control each other. Being bossy, giving orders, and micromanaging each other kills warmth.</p>
8. Don’t act like you don’t trust your partner. If you have got problems, solve them. But acting paranoid or treating your partner like a child is never justified.</p>
9. Don’t do things to hurt each other, like cheating, abuse, undermining the other’s attempts to reach her goals. I’m talking about real damage here. It takes relationships years to recover from this stuff.</p>
10. Don’t hold on to any of the ways you have been hurt. Hurts need time to heal. But holding on to a hurt turns a wound into an infection.</p>
See? You know a lot already, and the things you know are really important. Basic things such as appreciating each other, opening up to each other, not lying, not being selfish are the DNA out of which healthy, vital relationships are made.</p>
You just solved one of love’s mysteries. Now you know the first reason why relationships die even though nothing seems to have killed them. It was just this stealthy love killer. It is not that you aren’t good people. It is that you didn’t know exactly what to do to prevent your love from getting sick.</p>
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1. Don’t lie or keep secrets from each other. Lies and secrets create an atmosphere of distance and mistrust.</p>
2. Don’t put each other down. An atmosphere of criticism and complaint destroys love, no matter how good your intentions.</p>
3. Don’t shirk your responsibilities or shift them onto your partner. Assume that 60 percent of your relationship and 60 percent of your lives together is your responsibility.</p>
4. Don’t act miserable or gloomy. Nothing says “get away from me” louder than negativity. And you can’t excuse yourself by calling this “being real” or “being myself. Whatever you call it, it is putting sand in the motor of your relationship.</p>
5. Don’t spend too little time together. Every minute you spend really concentrating on each other is like putting money in your love bank.</p>
6. Don’t have fights that go nowhere in which you say nasty things to each other. Fighting is normal. But the real hidden purpose in fights is to bring out new information and create a basis for solving problems. Fights are not about signing blame. And they are not about going over and over the same material you have beaten to death before.\\</p>
7. Don’t cry to control each other. Being bossy, giving orders, and micromanaging each other kills warmth.</p>
8. Don’t act like you don’t trust your partner. If you have got problems, solve them. But acting paranoid or treating your partner like a child is never justified.</p>
9. Don’t do things to hurt each other, like cheating, abuse, undermining the other’s attempts to reach her goals. I’m talking about real damage here. It takes relationships years to recover from this stuff.</p>
10. Don’t hold on to any of the ways you have been hurt. Hurts need time to heal. But holding on to a hurt turns a wound into an infection.</p>
See? You know a lot already, and the things you know are really important. Basic things such as appreciating each other, opening up to each other, not lying, not being selfish are the DNA out of which healthy, vital relationships are made.</p>
You just solved one of love’s mysteries. Now you know the first reason why relationships die even though nothing seems to have killed them. It was just this stealthy love killer. It is not that you aren’t good people. It is that you didn’t know exactly what to do to prevent your love from getting sick.</p>
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