Pengesa me e madhe e lumturis dhe si ta kalosh ate
nje artikull interesant per te gjithe,
<u>
THE GREATEST OBSTACLE
TO HAPPINESS
AND HOW TO OVERCOME IT </u>
By Dr. Robert Anthony
Copyright 2002 Total Success International
Our life is about a string of moments in time. So often we stand in
our unhappiness trying to improve a future moment. The problem
is that this moment is where we are creating what we call our
"future".
Most people are looking toward a future time for pleasure and a
feeling of satisfaction, but very few experience it in the NOW. Yet
NOW is the only time that exists. What you are being, living,
thinking and feeling in the present moment will determine your
happiness. It also determines how much time you spend on
worrying about the future.
Your Point of Power
Think of your present moment as your Point of Power, because it
is the only point where you can exercise your full power. For most
of us the present moment exists only as mental concept. If there is
such a place where all the creative forces of the universe come
2
together, how do we know it is the present moment? What
evidence is there that this is true?
Consider this; all your hopes for the future and even your
memories of the past can happen only in the present moment.
The present moment is that one point where everything comes
together.
When does life start? When does it end? When do cause and
effect take place? When is it that we meet every challenge? When
are problems born and when are they resolved? When do we feel
pain? When are we healed? This all happens in the present
moment.
We have been taught that those moments are separate from each
other, but in truth, they all take place in the now. No matter what
happens in life, it is always now, then now, then now - always in
the present moment.
Nothing exist outside of the NOW
Nothing ever happened in the past. – It happened in the Now.
Nothing will ever happen in the future – It will happen in the Now.
When you think of the past it is stored in the mind as a former
now. And, when you think about the past, when do you do it? –
You do it now!
3
When the futures comes – it comes in the now. And, when you
think about the future, when do you do it? – You do it now!
The past and the future have no realities of their own. Their
realities are “borrowed” from the now.
The insanity of future time
Ideologies such as communism, socialism or any other type of
“ism”, as well as rigid religious beliefs systems operate from the
assumption that the highest good for all lies in the future and
therefore the end justifies the means. The end is an idea or a
point in the mind projected into the future when solutions -
whatever form they take – happiness, fulfillment, equality,
liberation, etc. will be attained. Not infrequently the means of
getting there are enslavement, torture and murder of the people in
the present.
For example, 50 million people were murdered to the future cause
of communism to bring about a “better world” in Russia and
China. This is a chilling example of how a belief in the future can
create a present hell.
How does this pattern operate in your life? Are you always trying
to get somewhere other than where you are? Are you focused on
achieving or attaining or chasing some thrill, pleasure or
excitement?
4
All unhappiness is caused by denial of the present. We think
problems are caused by our situations in life, but attachment to
the past and future and denial of the now is the real problem.
Ultimately then, there is only one problem in life – not living in the
now.
You cannot be unhappy and fully present now. It is impossible to
have a problem when your attention is in the now. When you live
in the now, a situation is either dealt with or accepted now. A
problem means you are dwelling on a situation mentally without
having a true intention or possibility of taking action now.
Answers come in the NOW
Perhaps you are seeking answers to your questions or problems.
Notice that sometimes you receive your answer, but most of the
time you don’t. Why? Because you are not in the present moment
when the answer arrives! Anytime your mind is out of the present
moment you cannot receive the answer you need from Higher
Intelligence.
The answer can come in many ways and at any time, but it will
always come in the present moment. If we spend most of our time
regretting and living in the past or worrying about the future we
place ourselves out of the present moment where all creativity and
answers take place. Does it make any sense at all to desire,
request, yearn and pray for that which is closest to your heart and
necessary to your life and then not be paying attention when the
answer arrives?
5
Our Point of Power can only exist in the present moment. We
create from this moment whether the materialization appears
instantly or later as a complex event. However, all creation takes
place in the now. If we really understand this truth, we will have an
inexhaustible supply of usable energy at our command.
It is only our thoughts, attitudes and emotions in the moment that
have power. It is not what occurred to us in the past that will force
us on a path that we would rather not be on. It is how tightly we
hold on to that past by reliving its trauma and drama in our
present moment. When we constantly worry and re-examine the
past in order to discover what’s wrong with the present, we
reinforce the building materials that will create exactly that which
we are trying to escape.
Vibrational Energy of the NOW
Understand that in every moment you are sending out a
vibrational energy through your thoughts. This vibrational energy
is magnetizing and attracting everything to you. If you send out a
vibrational energy that you don't have what you want, you will end
up with more of the same - having what you don’t want.
If this is true, (and it is) then what could be more advantageous
than using this moment to send out a vibrational energy or thought
that is in alignment with what you want in your life? The answer is
nothing is more important!
6
I am talking about the power of FOCUS. Ask yourself, "Am I
activating what I want in this moment or am I focusing on
something that doesn’t allow me to have what I want?"
Energy is tied into DESIRE. Anything that feels opposite to that
energy or desire creates a situation that prevents us from having
what we desire.
Why we have trouble living in the NOW
Why does the mind habitually resist the now? It is because the
mind cannot function and remain in control in the present moment.
It only knows about your past personal history and the cumulative
mind-set you inherited. In order for the mind to remain in control, it
must continuously seek to cover up the present moment with the
only thing it knows – the past.
Let me ask you a question – can you be free of your mind
whenever you want to? Have you found the “off” button? If you are
constantly focusing on the past or future, you are not using your
mind; your mind is using you. You don’t even know that you are its
slave. It is almost like being possessed without knowing it.
Watching the thinker
If you find it difficult to live in the NOW, try this: Stand back and
just observe the habitual tendency of your mind wanting to escape
the now.
7
You will observe that the future is usually better or worse than the
present. If the imagined future is better, it gives you hope,
pleasure and anticipation. If it is worse, it creates anxiety. Both are
illusions.
Don’t judge or analyze what you observe. Watch the thought –
feel the emotion, observe the reaction – become the silent
watcher. This will help you to focus on the moment, because the
moment you realize you are not present, you ARE present.
The Origin of fear
The reason you don’t put you hand in a fire is not because of fear.
It is because you KNOW you will get burned. The psychological
condition of fear is divorced from any true and immediate danger.
It comes in many forms – unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness,
dread, phobia, fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, and
so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that
MIGHT happen, not something that is happening now.
Freedom from unhappiness
Problems of the mind cannot be solved with the mind. Studying
the mind might make you a good psychologist, but doing so won’t
take you beyond the mind just as studying madness isn’t enough
to create madness.
When you create problems you create pain. All it takes is a single
choice – a simple decision that no matter what happens you will
not longer create pain by trying to live in the future or the past.
8
Are you worried? Do you have many “what if” thoughts? Ask
yourself what “problem” you have right now, not tomorrow, not five
minutes from now. What’s wrong with this moment?
Is your goal is taking up so much time and attention that you
reduce the present moment as a means to an end?
Are you waiting to start living? If you develop such a mind-pattern
no matter what you achieve or get the present will never be good
enough. The future will always seem better. This is a recipe for
permanent dissatisfaction and non-fulfillment – don’t you agree?
Are you a habitual “waiter”? How much of your life do you spend
waiting for the next holiday, better job, your child to grow up,
success, make money, be important, and become enlightened?
Waiting is a state of mind. Basically it means you want the future.
You don’t want the present. There is an inner conflict between
your here and now, when you don't want to be here and a
projected future is where you want to be.
The key is to break the old patterns of present moment denial and
present moment resistance. We must learn to withdraw our
attention from the past and future whenever they are not needed.
Should a situation arise that you need to deal with now, your
actions will be clear and decisive if they arise out of present
moment awareness. Your response will not be a reaction coming
from the past conditioning of your mind, but from an intuitive
present moment awareness of the situation.
9
Goal Setting in the NOW
Throughout this book we have talked about goal setting. It is
important to understand that there is nothing wrong with striving to
improve your life situation, but you cannot improve your life.
Your life situation consists of your experiences and the
circumstances. As we have learned, goals are important. The
mistake is using them as a substitute for living in the NOW.
You are on a journey. It is helpful to know where you are going –
but don’t forget the only thing that is ultimately real about your
journey is the steps you are taking in the present moment.
Your Inner and Outer purpose
Your journey has an outer purpose and an inner purpose. The
outer purpose is to arrive at your goal destination – to accomplish
what you desire, to achieve what you want, which of course,
implies the future.
But if your destination or the steps you are going to take in the
future take up so much of your attention that they become more
important than the steps you are taking now, then you completely
miss the inner journey’s purpose. Your inner journey’s purpose
has nothing to do with WHERE you are going or WHAT you are
doing, but everything to do with the now. It has nothing to do with
the future.
10
If you don’t understand your inner purpose you will fail at your
outer purpose. Keep in mind that the outer purpose is just a game
that you may continue to play because you enjoy it. And often you
may fail, but so what.
Ultimately EVERY outer purpose is doomed to “fail” sooner or
later because it is subject to the law of impermanence of all
things.
The sooner you realize your outer purpose cannot give you lasting
fulfillment the better. When you have seen the limitations of your
outer purpose you can give up the unrealistic expectation that it
can make you happy. More importantly, you make it subservient
to your inner purpose.
Have your dwelling place in the NOW and pay brief visits to your
past and future when required. Always say “yes” to the present
moment. Surrender to what is and see how life suddenly starts
working for you instead against you.
The key is to LIVE in the present moment, but know that you are
creating your future in this moment. What you are looking for is
balance in your thinking. In other words, living in the present
moment while giving thought to something you desire and
expecting it.
The true source of joy
11
While living in the present moment, the true source of
experiencing enormous joy lies in one act: discovering and
following what excites us the most in any given moment each
day, all day. Doing the things that excite us is the only way that
we will ever experience ourselves overflowing with joy and love.
Each one of us needs to find our joy. Something that we can't wait
to get up in the morning to do something we can't get enough of,
something that makes our heart sing. It could be anything. It could
be more than one thing. Something that makes us feel good,
allows us to be ourselves, gives us freedom to grow and expand,
something that leads us down the path to more joyful things and
exciting challenges.
The way to be your most creative is following your joy. If you
follow your joy and excitement and do what comes natural to you,
not necessarily easy, but joyfully, you will be the most beneficial to
yourself, others around you and to the world at large.
Dare to be different
We discussed throughout this book the idea of choosing what we
desire and following our dreams. What stops many people from
following their joy is that they are afraid that their way of doing
something it will not be good enough or accepted. They compare
what comes from them naturally with what is considered the norm.
That whole process of conformity starts in school. They ask you to
write a poem and then it is compared to another poem and if it is
in the same form then it gets an “A”. If it is different and has a form
of its own then it gets a “D.” When I was in first grade the teacher
12
asked us to draw a picture of a cat. When I was finished my
picture was considered so poor that I was told I have no talent as
far as art is concerned. I never drew or participated in any art form
after that.
Perhaps you decided that you couldn’t paint because you are
comparing your form to another form. But the truth is you could no
more paint like Van Gogh then Van Gogh could paint like you. The
difference is that Van Gogh believed in himself and in his style of
painting. That’s the magic.
No one can do what you do exactly the way you do it. This
includes business, the arts or any area of life. A person’s self
expression cannot be judged other then by a total fool. What you
do, whatever makes you feel alive and joyful, is your unique
expression. And it is probably the only thing that will bring you true
joy and excitement.
The unhappy majority
Unfortunately, for many of us, we spend much of our days
following and doing what we have come to believe we need to do,
rather than what truly excites us and what would, for that very
reason, end up bringing us the joy we seek.
Can we truly expect to experience enormous joy and happiness in
our lives if the first concern we have in the morning upon
wakening is to be on time to a job that does not bring us joy and
excitement?
13
If seventy percent of our days are filled with activities that do not
bring us joy, excitement and love, then the remaining thirtypercent
cannot compensate for that. All the seminars, books,
meditation, and affirmations are not going to help.
Yet the more time we spend doing things that do not truly bring us
joy and excitement, the more money we spend on other things
trying to compensate for our growing unhappiness, and this ends
up bringing us more debt. So the end result is that we are tied
even more into working at what we dislike. It is a self-defeating
circle.
Have you ever been in a room with many unhappy people? How
did it feel in there? Now imagine what billions of unhappy people
are doing to the world. Unfortunately we have become so
accustomed to this energy that we don’t even notice it anymore.
It’s as thick as molasses everywhere with the exception of a few
pockets of joy now and then.
What we fail to understand is when we have billions of people
doing things that they do not want to do, it creates unhappiness,
That unhappiness creates a collective energy that goes into the
environment and causes more damage to the environment than
everything else combined. It is like anger causing an ulcer. The
anger created the ulcer and people’s sadness creates the
negative result in the environment.
There are many people concerned about the environment of the
planet. They want to save the rivers, oceans and the forest. While
14
that may be commendable, I can tell you that the energy from so
many unhappy people on this planet is what is poisoning the
environment more than everything else combined.
We will not solve our environmental problems until we solve the
sad energy problem. What we don’t realize is that our physical
environmental problems are created from the negative energy that
comes from billions of unhappy people. Instead of trying to clean
up the environment, we need to clean up the thinking and
unhappiness of the people who are cause of our environmental
problems.
Others may not like it
You have read over and over throughout this book that all change
comes from the inside. Trying to change things using the outsidein
approach is always doomed to failure. On the surface this looks
selfish, but you know by now that we can only change the planet
one person at a time.
As you begin to search for and follow your joy and excitement you
may feel this process appears a bit selfish. There may be other
people around you that feel you are being selfish, but that is only
because they cannot understand that by allowing you the freedom
to find your joy and excitement that this will in turn make it easier
for them to find and follow their joy also.
In the beginning having family around you and also having
children can at times make following your joy and excitement
more challenging. Sometimes following your joy may feel like you
15
are not being practical or looking after your responsibilities. You
could subconsciously be afraid that you will end up playing away
your time, or indulging yourself, rather than looking after your
family. In the beginning it can be a delicate balance, but as time
goes on you will be much happier and the quality of time you
spend together will improve considerably. Also, other things that
need to be done will seem more enjoyable when you allow
yourself to do them when it feels right rather than when you
thought you should be doing them.
As you follow your joy and excitement people will automatically
see how much happier you are and how much more you are
enjoying life. This gets their attention and will slowly rub off on
others around you. So in the beginning you could possibly receive
some resistance from those close to you, even some resistance
and fear from yourself. This will pass as you become happier and
more excited to live each day. Joy is very addictive and draws
people towards you. As people see that it is okay to follow your
joy and excitement and that it is creative rather than destructive,
they will very quickly attempt to bring this process into their own
lives.
Finding what brings you joy
If you are not sure what your true joy might be, ask yourself these
questions and record your answers.
What subjects do you most enjoy reading about?
What television or radio programs do you most enjoy?
What are your favorite types of movies?
16
What are your favorite hobbies or pastimes?
What type of volunteer activities do you prefer?
What subjects do you enjoy discussing with friends?
What subjects come to mind when you daydream?
What have been your favorite jobs?
What were your favorite school subjects?
What are your pet peeves?
If you doodle, what do you often draw?
If you ran the world, what changes would you make?
If you won a million bucks, what would you do with it?
What are your favorite kinds of people?
How would you like to be remembered after your death?
What are your favorite toys?
How would you describe your political beliefs?
Who do you most admire in life and why?
What tasks have brought you the most success?
What tasks do you think you could do well that you haven't yet
done?
Examine your answers. Do you see a certain behavior or belief in
more than one aspect of your life? What information do you see
repeated that seems to reveal a behavior pattern? What are your
long-lasting interests?
Using this information, paint a self-portrait by completing the
following statements:
I am mainly interested in…
I believe most in…
17
I most value…
I can do the following well…
For a good life, I feel I need…
Now ask yourself if your current job or career helps you achieve
these five statements. If it does, you're probably on the right path.
Chances are; however, that the nagging voice means your are not
satisfying your core desires. If this is the case, then it's time to find
a better fit.
As you can see, finding what brings you joy and excitement isn't
that difficult. Essentially all is takes is to think about the things that
you the dream about, the things you think about that you feel
would bring you pleasure. After you have your list, the next step is
to remove the things from this list that are an escape from what
you are doing. There are a lot of things that we do to escape
some of the unhappy situations in our lives, these are not the
things that will truly bring us the joy and excitement we seek.
Sometimes we do things that have ulterior motives attached to
them and we think we do it because it brings us joy, but if it’s
really the ulterior motive that we are after then it is not really
following our joy.
That’s sort of like working at a job that you hate to get something
that you want. Although it can work to some extent, in the end
those eight hours of unhappiness are going to be very hard to
compensate for. Remember that if you are working at something
that does not bring you joy, you will spend twice as much money
18
trying to buy some happiness and in so doing you will need to
work even more at what you don't like.
A step at a time
Following our joy is not one large step, like quitting our job and
spending our days sitting under a tree. That is not following our
joy - that is escaping. There is a big difference between following
the things that truly excite us and doing things to escape from a
life that does not bring us joy.
The trick is to find, in the present moment, the things that would
bring us the most excitement, and then do whatever we can to
follow that excitement, even in the smallest way. This causes a
chain reaction that brings us more opportunities to do what we
love to do.
I think that the hardest time people have with following their joy is
trying to make a living and at the same time trying to follow their
joy. I have noticed that one of the very first things we fear is our
financial concerns. That’s why we start off slowly following the
path little by little and letting things build upon themselves slowly.
However, I will tell you this, whenever I followed my joy it always
turned out to be the most financial rewarding thing at the end.
When you follow you true joy, wherever that leads you, and even
if it changes from time to time, then the details will work
themselves out on their own. If you try to work out all the details
and debate them to death, you will go insane before you find the
19
right answer. But if you just follow your joy and what brings you
excitement then you will end up doing what is best for you and
everyone.
Whatever we desire is waiting for us to claim it. You have already
learned you do not have to know the details or how do anything.
All you have to do is focus on what you want. I can't take away
your fears and doubts no matter how many pages I write. You will
just need to trust yourself and the Power within you that you can
truly follow your joy and do things in a way that bring you joy and
have it all work out.
The greatest obstacle to happiness is not living in the present
moment and not following your joy. The solution is to do just the
opposite. If you find yourself focusing on the past or the future,
remind yourself that the present moment is all there is, and then
surrender to what is and see how life suddenly starts working for
you.
If you put the same amount of effort into finding what gives you joy
as you put into going to work at a job you dislike, you will end up
with results that will make you think, “Why did I wait so long to do
this?”
Final thought
I have come to understand that when we enter this world we all do
so with two wings. One is the Wing of Infinite Power. This is your
connection with the Universe. And whether you know it or not, that
20
wing is flapping by your side supporting you twenty-four hours a
day 365 days a year from now to eternity. The other wing is that
which you have consciously activated. This is the Wing of Self-
Effort. This wing has to fly equally as hard as the Wing of Infinite
Power. When it does you will have flight into the world of unlimited
possibilities where anything and everything is possible for you.
Then and only then will you understand how truly powerful you are
and that you have all it takes within you to create what you desire.
So follow your joy whatever it may be; in whatever form it may
come; let it come forth as it may; to be as it may. Let your joy,
excitement and uncensored creativity carve you into the image of
the Creator. For the crevasses and lines on our faces show not
our age but how much we have dared to be true to ourselves.
nje artikull interesant per te gjithe,
<u>
THE GREATEST OBSTACLE
TO HAPPINESS
AND HOW TO OVERCOME IT </u>
By Dr. Robert Anthony
Copyright 2002 Total Success International
Our life is about a string of moments in time. So often we stand in
our unhappiness trying to improve a future moment. The problem
is that this moment is where we are creating what we call our
"future".
Most people are looking toward a future time for pleasure and a
feeling of satisfaction, but very few experience it in the NOW. Yet
NOW is the only time that exists. What you are being, living,
thinking and feeling in the present moment will determine your
happiness. It also determines how much time you spend on
worrying about the future.
Your Point of Power
Think of your present moment as your Point of Power, because it
is the only point where you can exercise your full power. For most
of us the present moment exists only as mental concept. If there is
such a place where all the creative forces of the universe come
2
together, how do we know it is the present moment? What
evidence is there that this is true?
Consider this; all your hopes for the future and even your
memories of the past can happen only in the present moment.
The present moment is that one point where everything comes
together.
When does life start? When does it end? When do cause and
effect take place? When is it that we meet every challenge? When
are problems born and when are they resolved? When do we feel
pain? When are we healed? This all happens in the present
moment.
We have been taught that those moments are separate from each
other, but in truth, they all take place in the now. No matter what
happens in life, it is always now, then now, then now - always in
the present moment.
Nothing exist outside of the NOW
Nothing ever happened in the past. – It happened in the Now.
Nothing will ever happen in the future – It will happen in the Now.
When you think of the past it is stored in the mind as a former
now. And, when you think about the past, when do you do it? –
You do it now!
3
When the futures comes – it comes in the now. And, when you
think about the future, when do you do it? – You do it now!
The past and the future have no realities of their own. Their
realities are “borrowed” from the now.
The insanity of future time
Ideologies such as communism, socialism or any other type of
“ism”, as well as rigid religious beliefs systems operate from the
assumption that the highest good for all lies in the future and
therefore the end justifies the means. The end is an idea or a
point in the mind projected into the future when solutions -
whatever form they take – happiness, fulfillment, equality,
liberation, etc. will be attained. Not infrequently the means of
getting there are enslavement, torture and murder of the people in
the present.
For example, 50 million people were murdered to the future cause
of communism to bring about a “better world” in Russia and
China. This is a chilling example of how a belief in the future can
create a present hell.
How does this pattern operate in your life? Are you always trying
to get somewhere other than where you are? Are you focused on
achieving or attaining or chasing some thrill, pleasure or
excitement?
4
All unhappiness is caused by denial of the present. We think
problems are caused by our situations in life, but attachment to
the past and future and denial of the now is the real problem.
Ultimately then, there is only one problem in life – not living in the
now.
You cannot be unhappy and fully present now. It is impossible to
have a problem when your attention is in the now. When you live
in the now, a situation is either dealt with or accepted now. A
problem means you are dwelling on a situation mentally without
having a true intention or possibility of taking action now.
Answers come in the NOW
Perhaps you are seeking answers to your questions or problems.
Notice that sometimes you receive your answer, but most of the
time you don’t. Why? Because you are not in the present moment
when the answer arrives! Anytime your mind is out of the present
moment you cannot receive the answer you need from Higher
Intelligence.
The answer can come in many ways and at any time, but it will
always come in the present moment. If we spend most of our time
regretting and living in the past or worrying about the future we
place ourselves out of the present moment where all creativity and
answers take place. Does it make any sense at all to desire,
request, yearn and pray for that which is closest to your heart and
necessary to your life and then not be paying attention when the
answer arrives?
5
Our Point of Power can only exist in the present moment. We
create from this moment whether the materialization appears
instantly or later as a complex event. However, all creation takes
place in the now. If we really understand this truth, we will have an
inexhaustible supply of usable energy at our command.
It is only our thoughts, attitudes and emotions in the moment that
have power. It is not what occurred to us in the past that will force
us on a path that we would rather not be on. It is how tightly we
hold on to that past by reliving its trauma and drama in our
present moment. When we constantly worry and re-examine the
past in order to discover what’s wrong with the present, we
reinforce the building materials that will create exactly that which
we are trying to escape.
Vibrational Energy of the NOW
Understand that in every moment you are sending out a
vibrational energy through your thoughts. This vibrational energy
is magnetizing and attracting everything to you. If you send out a
vibrational energy that you don't have what you want, you will end
up with more of the same - having what you don’t want.
If this is true, (and it is) then what could be more advantageous
than using this moment to send out a vibrational energy or thought
that is in alignment with what you want in your life? The answer is
nothing is more important!
6
I am talking about the power of FOCUS. Ask yourself, "Am I
activating what I want in this moment or am I focusing on
something that doesn’t allow me to have what I want?"
Energy is tied into DESIRE. Anything that feels opposite to that
energy or desire creates a situation that prevents us from having
what we desire.
Why we have trouble living in the NOW
Why does the mind habitually resist the now? It is because the
mind cannot function and remain in control in the present moment.
It only knows about your past personal history and the cumulative
mind-set you inherited. In order for the mind to remain in control, it
must continuously seek to cover up the present moment with the
only thing it knows – the past.
Let me ask you a question – can you be free of your mind
whenever you want to? Have you found the “off” button? If you are
constantly focusing on the past or future, you are not using your
mind; your mind is using you. You don’t even know that you are its
slave. It is almost like being possessed without knowing it.
Watching the thinker
If you find it difficult to live in the NOW, try this: Stand back and
just observe the habitual tendency of your mind wanting to escape
the now.
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You will observe that the future is usually better or worse than the
present. If the imagined future is better, it gives you hope,
pleasure and anticipation. If it is worse, it creates anxiety. Both are
illusions.
Don’t judge or analyze what you observe. Watch the thought –
feel the emotion, observe the reaction – become the silent
watcher. This will help you to focus on the moment, because the
moment you realize you are not present, you ARE present.
The Origin of fear
The reason you don’t put you hand in a fire is not because of fear.
It is because you KNOW you will get burned. The psychological
condition of fear is divorced from any true and immediate danger.
It comes in many forms – unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness,
dread, phobia, fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, and
so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that
MIGHT happen, not something that is happening now.
Freedom from unhappiness
Problems of the mind cannot be solved with the mind. Studying
the mind might make you a good psychologist, but doing so won’t
take you beyond the mind just as studying madness isn’t enough
to create madness.
When you create problems you create pain. All it takes is a single
choice – a simple decision that no matter what happens you will
not longer create pain by trying to live in the future or the past.
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Are you worried? Do you have many “what if” thoughts? Ask
yourself what “problem” you have right now, not tomorrow, not five
minutes from now. What’s wrong with this moment?
Is your goal is taking up so much time and attention that you
reduce the present moment as a means to an end?
Are you waiting to start living? If you develop such a mind-pattern
no matter what you achieve or get the present will never be good
enough. The future will always seem better. This is a recipe for
permanent dissatisfaction and non-fulfillment – don’t you agree?
Are you a habitual “waiter”? How much of your life do you spend
waiting for the next holiday, better job, your child to grow up,
success, make money, be important, and become enlightened?
Waiting is a state of mind. Basically it means you want the future.
You don’t want the present. There is an inner conflict between
your here and now, when you don't want to be here and a
projected future is where you want to be.
The key is to break the old patterns of present moment denial and
present moment resistance. We must learn to withdraw our
attention from the past and future whenever they are not needed.
Should a situation arise that you need to deal with now, your
actions will be clear and decisive if they arise out of present
moment awareness. Your response will not be a reaction coming
from the past conditioning of your mind, but from an intuitive
present moment awareness of the situation.
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Goal Setting in the NOW
Throughout this book we have talked about goal setting. It is
important to understand that there is nothing wrong with striving to
improve your life situation, but you cannot improve your life.
Your life situation consists of your experiences and the
circumstances. As we have learned, goals are important. The
mistake is using them as a substitute for living in the NOW.
You are on a journey. It is helpful to know where you are going –
but don’t forget the only thing that is ultimately real about your
journey is the steps you are taking in the present moment.
Your Inner and Outer purpose
Your journey has an outer purpose and an inner purpose. The
outer purpose is to arrive at your goal destination – to accomplish
what you desire, to achieve what you want, which of course,
implies the future.
But if your destination or the steps you are going to take in the
future take up so much of your attention that they become more
important than the steps you are taking now, then you completely
miss the inner journey’s purpose. Your inner journey’s purpose
has nothing to do with WHERE you are going or WHAT you are
doing, but everything to do with the now. It has nothing to do with
the future.
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If you don’t understand your inner purpose you will fail at your
outer purpose. Keep in mind that the outer purpose is just a game
that you may continue to play because you enjoy it. And often you
may fail, but so what.
Ultimately EVERY outer purpose is doomed to “fail” sooner or
later because it is subject to the law of impermanence of all
things.
The sooner you realize your outer purpose cannot give you lasting
fulfillment the better. When you have seen the limitations of your
outer purpose you can give up the unrealistic expectation that it
can make you happy. More importantly, you make it subservient
to your inner purpose.
Have your dwelling place in the NOW and pay brief visits to your
past and future when required. Always say “yes” to the present
moment. Surrender to what is and see how life suddenly starts
working for you instead against you.
The key is to LIVE in the present moment, but know that you are
creating your future in this moment. What you are looking for is
balance in your thinking. In other words, living in the present
moment while giving thought to something you desire and
expecting it.
The true source of joy
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While living in the present moment, the true source of
experiencing enormous joy lies in one act: discovering and
following what excites us the most in any given moment each
day, all day. Doing the things that excite us is the only way that
we will ever experience ourselves overflowing with joy and love.
Each one of us needs to find our joy. Something that we can't wait
to get up in the morning to do something we can't get enough of,
something that makes our heart sing. It could be anything. It could
be more than one thing. Something that makes us feel good,
allows us to be ourselves, gives us freedom to grow and expand,
something that leads us down the path to more joyful things and
exciting challenges.
The way to be your most creative is following your joy. If you
follow your joy and excitement and do what comes natural to you,
not necessarily easy, but joyfully, you will be the most beneficial to
yourself, others around you and to the world at large.
Dare to be different
We discussed throughout this book the idea of choosing what we
desire and following our dreams. What stops many people from
following their joy is that they are afraid that their way of doing
something it will not be good enough or accepted. They compare
what comes from them naturally with what is considered the norm.
That whole process of conformity starts in school. They ask you to
write a poem and then it is compared to another poem and if it is
in the same form then it gets an “A”. If it is different and has a form
of its own then it gets a “D.” When I was in first grade the teacher
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asked us to draw a picture of a cat. When I was finished my
picture was considered so poor that I was told I have no talent as
far as art is concerned. I never drew or participated in any art form
after that.
Perhaps you decided that you couldn’t paint because you are
comparing your form to another form. But the truth is you could no
more paint like Van Gogh then Van Gogh could paint like you. The
difference is that Van Gogh believed in himself and in his style of
painting. That’s the magic.
No one can do what you do exactly the way you do it. This
includes business, the arts or any area of life. A person’s self
expression cannot be judged other then by a total fool. What you
do, whatever makes you feel alive and joyful, is your unique
expression. And it is probably the only thing that will bring you true
joy and excitement.
The unhappy majority
Unfortunately, for many of us, we spend much of our days
following and doing what we have come to believe we need to do,
rather than what truly excites us and what would, for that very
reason, end up bringing us the joy we seek.
Can we truly expect to experience enormous joy and happiness in
our lives if the first concern we have in the morning upon
wakening is to be on time to a job that does not bring us joy and
excitement?
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If seventy percent of our days are filled with activities that do not
bring us joy, excitement and love, then the remaining thirtypercent
cannot compensate for that. All the seminars, books,
meditation, and affirmations are not going to help.
Yet the more time we spend doing things that do not truly bring us
joy and excitement, the more money we spend on other things
trying to compensate for our growing unhappiness, and this ends
up bringing us more debt. So the end result is that we are tied
even more into working at what we dislike. It is a self-defeating
circle.
Have you ever been in a room with many unhappy people? How
did it feel in there? Now imagine what billions of unhappy people
are doing to the world. Unfortunately we have become so
accustomed to this energy that we don’t even notice it anymore.
It’s as thick as molasses everywhere with the exception of a few
pockets of joy now and then.
What we fail to understand is when we have billions of people
doing things that they do not want to do, it creates unhappiness,
That unhappiness creates a collective energy that goes into the
environment and causes more damage to the environment than
everything else combined. It is like anger causing an ulcer. The
anger created the ulcer and people’s sadness creates the
negative result in the environment.
There are many people concerned about the environment of the
planet. They want to save the rivers, oceans and the forest. While
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that may be commendable, I can tell you that the energy from so
many unhappy people on this planet is what is poisoning the
environment more than everything else combined.
We will not solve our environmental problems until we solve the
sad energy problem. What we don’t realize is that our physical
environmental problems are created from the negative energy that
comes from billions of unhappy people. Instead of trying to clean
up the environment, we need to clean up the thinking and
unhappiness of the people who are cause of our environmental
problems.
Others may not like it
You have read over and over throughout this book that all change
comes from the inside. Trying to change things using the outsidein
approach is always doomed to failure. On the surface this looks
selfish, but you know by now that we can only change the planet
one person at a time.
As you begin to search for and follow your joy and excitement you
may feel this process appears a bit selfish. There may be other
people around you that feel you are being selfish, but that is only
because they cannot understand that by allowing you the freedom
to find your joy and excitement that this will in turn make it easier
for them to find and follow their joy also.
In the beginning having family around you and also having
children can at times make following your joy and excitement
more challenging. Sometimes following your joy may feel like you
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are not being practical or looking after your responsibilities. You
could subconsciously be afraid that you will end up playing away
your time, or indulging yourself, rather than looking after your
family. In the beginning it can be a delicate balance, but as time
goes on you will be much happier and the quality of time you
spend together will improve considerably. Also, other things that
need to be done will seem more enjoyable when you allow
yourself to do them when it feels right rather than when you
thought you should be doing them.
As you follow your joy and excitement people will automatically
see how much happier you are and how much more you are
enjoying life. This gets their attention and will slowly rub off on
others around you. So in the beginning you could possibly receive
some resistance from those close to you, even some resistance
and fear from yourself. This will pass as you become happier and
more excited to live each day. Joy is very addictive and draws
people towards you. As people see that it is okay to follow your
joy and excitement and that it is creative rather than destructive,
they will very quickly attempt to bring this process into their own
lives.
Finding what brings you joy
If you are not sure what your true joy might be, ask yourself these
questions and record your answers.
What subjects do you most enjoy reading about?
What television or radio programs do you most enjoy?
What are your favorite types of movies?
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What are your favorite hobbies or pastimes?
What type of volunteer activities do you prefer?
What subjects do you enjoy discussing with friends?
What subjects come to mind when you daydream?
What have been your favorite jobs?
What were your favorite school subjects?
What are your pet peeves?
If you doodle, what do you often draw?
If you ran the world, what changes would you make?
If you won a million bucks, what would you do with it?
What are your favorite kinds of people?
How would you like to be remembered after your death?
What are your favorite toys?
How would you describe your political beliefs?
Who do you most admire in life and why?
What tasks have brought you the most success?
What tasks do you think you could do well that you haven't yet
done?
Examine your answers. Do you see a certain behavior or belief in
more than one aspect of your life? What information do you see
repeated that seems to reveal a behavior pattern? What are your
long-lasting interests?
Using this information, paint a self-portrait by completing the
following statements:
I am mainly interested in…
I believe most in…
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I most value…
I can do the following well…
For a good life, I feel I need…
Now ask yourself if your current job or career helps you achieve
these five statements. If it does, you're probably on the right path.
Chances are; however, that the nagging voice means your are not
satisfying your core desires. If this is the case, then it's time to find
a better fit.
As you can see, finding what brings you joy and excitement isn't
that difficult. Essentially all is takes is to think about the things that
you the dream about, the things you think about that you feel
would bring you pleasure. After you have your list, the next step is
to remove the things from this list that are an escape from what
you are doing. There are a lot of things that we do to escape
some of the unhappy situations in our lives, these are not the
things that will truly bring us the joy and excitement we seek.
Sometimes we do things that have ulterior motives attached to
them and we think we do it because it brings us joy, but if it’s
really the ulterior motive that we are after then it is not really
following our joy.
That’s sort of like working at a job that you hate to get something
that you want. Although it can work to some extent, in the end
those eight hours of unhappiness are going to be very hard to
compensate for. Remember that if you are working at something
that does not bring you joy, you will spend twice as much money
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trying to buy some happiness and in so doing you will need to
work even more at what you don't like.
A step at a time
Following our joy is not one large step, like quitting our job and
spending our days sitting under a tree. That is not following our
joy - that is escaping. There is a big difference between following
the things that truly excite us and doing things to escape from a
life that does not bring us joy.
The trick is to find, in the present moment, the things that would
bring us the most excitement, and then do whatever we can to
follow that excitement, even in the smallest way. This causes a
chain reaction that brings us more opportunities to do what we
love to do.
I think that the hardest time people have with following their joy is
trying to make a living and at the same time trying to follow their
joy. I have noticed that one of the very first things we fear is our
financial concerns. That’s why we start off slowly following the
path little by little and letting things build upon themselves slowly.
However, I will tell you this, whenever I followed my joy it always
turned out to be the most financial rewarding thing at the end.
When you follow you true joy, wherever that leads you, and even
if it changes from time to time, then the details will work
themselves out on their own. If you try to work out all the details
and debate them to death, you will go insane before you find the
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right answer. But if you just follow your joy and what brings you
excitement then you will end up doing what is best for you and
everyone.
Whatever we desire is waiting for us to claim it. You have already
learned you do not have to know the details or how do anything.
All you have to do is focus on what you want. I can't take away
your fears and doubts no matter how many pages I write. You will
just need to trust yourself and the Power within you that you can
truly follow your joy and do things in a way that bring you joy and
have it all work out.
The greatest obstacle to happiness is not living in the present
moment and not following your joy. The solution is to do just the
opposite. If you find yourself focusing on the past or the future,
remind yourself that the present moment is all there is, and then
surrender to what is and see how life suddenly starts working for
you.
If you put the same amount of effort into finding what gives you joy
as you put into going to work at a job you dislike, you will end up
with results that will make you think, “Why did I wait so long to do
this?”
Final thought
I have come to understand that when we enter this world we all do
so with two wings. One is the Wing of Infinite Power. This is your
connection with the Universe. And whether you know it or not, that
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wing is flapping by your side supporting you twenty-four hours a
day 365 days a year from now to eternity. The other wing is that
which you have consciously activated. This is the Wing of Self-
Effort. This wing has to fly equally as hard as the Wing of Infinite
Power. When it does you will have flight into the world of unlimited
possibilities where anything and everything is possible for you.
Then and only then will you understand how truly powerful you are
and that you have all it takes within you to create what you desire.
So follow your joy whatever it may be; in whatever form it may
come; let it come forth as it may; to be as it may. Let your joy,
excitement and uncensored creativity carve you into the image of
the Creator. For the crevasses and lines on our faces show not
our age but how much we have dared to be true to ourselves.
