How To Pollute a Relationship
We get angry at the people we love or disappointed in them for all kinds of reasons. Toxic buildup is something special. For this disease to kick in, you need a chain of events.</p>
Step 1.When someones does something that hurts the other person, the chain of events begins. Obviously, the prime example of an action that leads to toxic buildup is when someone cheats on his partner. But any time we do something that causes our partner a lot of pain, damages trust, or causes unnecessary problems, negative feelings that don’t go away are created. They spoil the happiness and ease of the relationship, the way a bad stomachache can spoon a day in the park.</p>
The event doesn’t have to be one major “crime”. In most cases, a lot of not so big “crimes” loosely organized around a central theme cause the hurt.</p>
For example, taking most of the money the two of you have been saving and lending it to an irresponsible relative without asking is a major “crime” But having done a lot of Little things that were selfish and irresponsible without consulting your partner can be just as hurtful.</p>
When you add up the time you came home with an expensive new set of golf clubs you hadn’t talked about, and the time you went off to buy a new car and come back with a much more expensive model than you would agreed on, and the time you took an old friend on a fishing trip and paid his way! -well, your partner now has one huge in in digestive cruller sitting in her stomach, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t take a lot of little bites to get it there.</p>
Step 2. But toxic buildup doesn’t begin only with someone doing something “bad.” The other person has to experience it as begin bad. Ten days after we met, my husband told me that he would been seeing a woman who would gone away for the summer and that they had planned to see if they wanted to be with each other when she got back. I don’t think that what my husband did was so terrible. He would had no commitment to that woman. And after all, when do you tell someone you are starting to get involved with about your previous entanglements?</p>
But it hurts me. I would thought that we had been perfectly open and honest with each other. I couldn’t help but see this old girlfriend as a real threat. So it took we weeks to forgive my husband for not telling me sooner, and throughout those weeks this issue overshadowed our relationship. So it’s not just the hurt but the reaction to the hurt that creates the pollution.</p>
Step3. But just because she hurts you, it doesn’t mean you will end up suffering from toxic buildup. Toxic also requires some kind of stickiness that prevents this hurt from passing out of your relationship. After all, even if you get food poisoning a little diarrhea and vomiting takes care of it A day or so later you can e as good as new, as long as the poison passes out of your system.</p>
The difference between this love killer and a single bad incident is that something prevents you from letting it go. Things stick for a reason. You would be surprised what people can let go of when there is nothing to make it stick.</p>
Related posts:The Top Ten Don’ts For Mainitaining a Great RelationshipWomen Are Attracted To Poweful And Successful Men</p>
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Ky artikull eshte marre nga: http://www.datingcare.com/?p=428. Per me shume artikuj te ngjashem vizitoni: http://www.datingcare.com/?p=428
We get angry at the people we love or disappointed in them for all kinds of reasons. Toxic buildup is something special. For this disease to kick in, you need a chain of events.</p>
Step 1.When someones does something that hurts the other person, the chain of events begins. Obviously, the prime example of an action that leads to toxic buildup is when someone cheats on his partner. But any time we do something that causes our partner a lot of pain, damages trust, or causes unnecessary problems, negative feelings that don’t go away are created. They spoil the happiness and ease of the relationship, the way a bad stomachache can spoon a day in the park.</p>
The event doesn’t have to be one major “crime”. In most cases, a lot of not so big “crimes” loosely organized around a central theme cause the hurt.</p>
For example, taking most of the money the two of you have been saving and lending it to an irresponsible relative without asking is a major “crime” But having done a lot of Little things that were selfish and irresponsible without consulting your partner can be just as hurtful.</p>
When you add up the time you came home with an expensive new set of golf clubs you hadn’t talked about, and the time you went off to buy a new car and come back with a much more expensive model than you would agreed on, and the time you took an old friend on a fishing trip and paid his way! -well, your partner now has one huge in in digestive cruller sitting in her stomach, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t take a lot of little bites to get it there.</p>
Step 2. But toxic buildup doesn’t begin only with someone doing something “bad.” The other person has to experience it as begin bad. Ten days after we met, my husband told me that he would been seeing a woman who would gone away for the summer and that they had planned to see if they wanted to be with each other when she got back. I don’t think that what my husband did was so terrible. He would had no commitment to that woman. And after all, when do you tell someone you are starting to get involved with about your previous entanglements?</p>
But it hurts me. I would thought that we had been perfectly open and honest with each other. I couldn’t help but see this old girlfriend as a real threat. So it took we weeks to forgive my husband for not telling me sooner, and throughout those weeks this issue overshadowed our relationship. So it’s not just the hurt but the reaction to the hurt that creates the pollution.</p>
Step3. But just because she hurts you, it doesn’t mean you will end up suffering from toxic buildup. Toxic also requires some kind of stickiness that prevents this hurt from passing out of your relationship. After all, even if you get food poisoning a little diarrhea and vomiting takes care of it A day or so later you can e as good as new, as long as the poison passes out of your system.</p>
The difference between this love killer and a single bad incident is that something prevents you from letting it go. Things stick for a reason. You would be surprised what people can let go of when there is nothing to make it stick.</p>
Related posts:The Top Ten Don’ts For Mainitaining a Great RelationshipWomen Are Attracted To Poweful And Successful Men</p>
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.</p>
Ky artikull eshte marre nga: http://www.datingcare.com/?p=428. Per me shume artikuj te ngjashem vizitoni: http://www.datingcare.com/?p=428