Barcaleta te Ndryshme (anglisht)

AnaBlue

Forumium maestatis
Barcaleta te Ndryshme (anglisht)

Lost Male

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked.

"Because every time I talk to a woman with breasts like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere"
 

AnaBlue

Forumium maestatis
Re: Barcaleta te Ndryshme (anglisht)

1.) "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought
he was God and I didn't!"
2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive anyhow.
7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10) "Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is research."
11) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13) "NyQuil - The stuffy, Sneezy, why--is-the-room-spinning medicine."
14) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car.
15) God must love stupid people, he made so many.
16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative
19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
21) "MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team."
22) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
23) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With Buttheads!
24) "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam" (seen on Cape Cod)
25) "Computer programmers know how to use their hardware."
26) "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be
When I Grew Up"
27) "Procrastinate Now"
28) "Rehab Is for Quitters"
29) "My Dog Can Lick Anyone"
30) "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"
31) Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit."
32) "Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been doing since 15"
33) "ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING"
34) "West Virginia: One Million People and 15 last names"
35) "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software."
36) "MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT"
37) "A hangover is the wrath of grapes"
38) "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
39) "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
40) "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music"
41) "They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken"
42) "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead"
43) "Time's fun when you're having flies"...Kermit the Frog
44) "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on."
45) "FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once."
46) "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH"
47) "A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS but it uses up a thousand
times the memory."
48) "The Meek shall inherit the earth after we're through with it."
49) "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
50) "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment
for a pig."
51) "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years."
52) "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
53) "IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?"
54) "The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson."
 

AnaBlue

Forumium maestatis
Re: Barcaleta te Ndryshme (anglisht)

Subject: survivor

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

> >2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
> >2 French men and 1 French woman
> >2 German men and 1 German woman
> >2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
> >2 English men and 1 English woman
> >2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
> >2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
> >2 American men and 1 American woman
> >2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
> >2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman
> >2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes here are low and it is not raining.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men, after calling them both 'bloody wankers".

Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.

The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.
 

gurax

Pan ignoramus
Re: Barcaleta te Ndryshme (anglisht)

Man suspected his wife was seeing another man. He hired a famous chineese detective " Chen Lee " to watch his wife and report all activities while he was gone.
Few days later the man received the following report:

" MOST HORNIBLE SIR:

You leave house.
I watch house.
He come to house, I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel .
I climb tree.
I look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She plays with he.
I play with me .
I fall out of tree.
I no see.
No fee.

---------------
"When God created sunrise, He was trying to copy your smile."
 

Kordelja

Valoris scriptorum
Re: Barcaleta te Ndryshme (anglisht)

Fillimisht postuar nga Gurax:
[qb]Man suspected his wife was seeing another man. He hired a famous chineese detective " Chen Lee " to watch his wife and report all activities while he was gone.
Few days later the man received the following report:

" MOST HORNIBLE SIR:

You leave house.
I watch house.
He come to house, I watch.
He and she leave house.
I follow.
He and she go in hotel .
I climb tree.
I look in window.
He kiss she.
She kiss he.
He strip she.
She strip he.
He play with she.
She plays with he.
I play with me .
I fall out of tree.
I no see.
No fee.

---------------
"When God created sunrise, He was trying to copy your smile."[/qb]
------------------------------------------
Vjedharaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak, kjo eshte copyright ime, do te te ngordh. :smash: :smash: :smash:
 

Kordelja

Valoris scriptorum
Re: Barcaleta te Ndryshme (anglisht)

Sa per dijeni eshte keshut, se ke harru qe e firmos ai vllai ne fund: Chen LEE, edhe shkon me rime puna pastaj.........

THE CHINESE DETECTIVE
A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the
famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any
activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this
report: MOST HONORABLE SIR:

YOU LEAVE HOUSE.
I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE. I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE.
I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME. I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.

NO FEE,

CHEN LEE
/pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
 

gjekec

Primus registratum
Re: Barcaleta te Ndryshme (anglisht)

Fillimisht postuar nga AnaBlue:
[qb]Subject: survivor

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

> >2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
> >2 French men and 1 French woman
> >2 German men and 1 German woman
> >2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
> >2 English men and 1 English woman
> >2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
> >2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
> >2 American men and 1 American woman
> >2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
> >2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman
> >2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes here are low and it is not raining.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men, after calling them both 'bloody wankers".

Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.

The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.[/qb]
Ti ke nevoje per zbulim /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif ,
 

Kordelja

Valoris scriptorum
Re: Barcaleta te Ndryshme (anglisht)

Sheakspearen way...

One day one beggar was sitting in the park during evening time while he noticed a young couple making love in the grass.

While he was enjoying the scene the polices arrived and took the couple cause they broke the low doing dirty things in a public place and the only witness with them to the police station.

Some days after the witness had to confirm in front of the court what he saw that evening.

The judge asks him:
-What did you see that evening?What were they doing in the park?
-They were fucking- the guy exclaimed

The judge was surprised very much from the way the man explained the situation cause he found it very un polite.

-May you express yourself in a more acceptable way sir, please-said the judge, like more romantic and Sheakespirian??!!

The man stood for a while thinking and than he said:

-His pants were down his bottom bare
His balls were swinging in the evening air
His thing-you know what was in her- you know where
If that was not fucking, I was not there.....

...........................................
 

gjekec

Primus registratum
Re: Barcaleta te Ndryshme (anglisht)

That's some fucked up poetry right there /pf/images/graemlins/laugh.gif . ...Anywayz,here's a question, what's the smartest thing that comes out of a bitches' mouth?
-
-
-
-
(rewsna - s'nietsnie kcid )
 
Top