You Should Say No !!!
Women are often far more sensitive to other people’s needs than to our own. We are the nurturers, soothers, helpmates, and steadiest of rocked boats. As a result, we may feel guilty if we are anything less than an emotional service station to others.Changing this age gold pattern is understandably difficult. Other people may react with anger and disapproval. When that happens, it is tempting to step back to our “proper place” and conclude that change is not possible.</p>
Other people’s resistance that change is not possible. More important, we haven’t established where our responsibility to others ends and our responsibility to ourselves begins. But no one can tell you when it is appropriate to say no, although there is no shortage of advice on the subject. It is your job to decide what is right for you, which may be different from your image of the liberated women.</p>
People won’t love you for saying no, at least not in the short run, so if you become more assertive, don’t expect applause. Instead, expect the others person to make a counter move to reinstate the status quo. You can’t control such reactions, you can, however, say no in ways that will make people more likely to respect your limits. Here are some suggestions to consider:</p>
1. If you are feeling even slightly uncertain about a request, don’t give an immediate answer. No matter how much pressure you fell, you can always say, “I need a little time to think about it. I will get back to you tomorrow.”</p>
2. Choose carefully when you are really want to say no. If you don’t feel comfortable saying no in a particular situation, that’s OK.</p>
3. When do you say no, make sure your explanations are only about you and not an implicit criticism of the other person.</p>
4. Don’t try to change the other person’s response.</p>
5. Avoid becoming defensive or providing lengthy explanations for your decision. If you are having trouble being hard, it is fine to say something simple like “I’m not sure why, but I’m just not comfortable doing that.”</p>
6. Try to stay calm and low key, even if the other person reacts strongly. Intensity escalates anxiety.</p>
Changing an old pattern that may have roots in many generations is possible but not easy. You probably will feel guilty. But guilt is not terminal and will eventually subside. And saying no brings with it the possibility of next time saying yes with a lighter heart.</p>
Finally, consider that your difficulty saying no, although admittedly a problem, may also reflect your kindness and generosity of spirit, qualities the world needs more of. Few things are all good or all bad.</p>
Ky artikull eshte marre nga: http://www.datingcare.com/?p=75. Per me shume artikuj te ngjashem vizitoni: http://www.datingcare.com/?p=75
Other people’s resistance that change is not possible. More important, we haven’t established where our responsibility to others ends and our responsibility to ourselves begins. But no one can tell you when it is appropriate to say no, although there is no shortage of advice on the subject. It is your job to decide what is right for you, which may be different from your image of the liberated women.</p>
People won’t love you for saying no, at least not in the short run, so if you become more assertive, don’t expect applause. Instead, expect the others person to make a counter move to reinstate the status quo. You can’t control such reactions, you can, however, say no in ways that will make people more likely to respect your limits. Here are some suggestions to consider:</p>
1. If you are feeling even slightly uncertain about a request, don’t give an immediate answer. No matter how much pressure you fell, you can always say, “I need a little time to think about it. I will get back to you tomorrow.”</p>
2. Choose carefully when you are really want to say no. If you don’t feel comfortable saying no in a particular situation, that’s OK.</p>
3. When do you say no, make sure your explanations are only about you and not an implicit criticism of the other person.</p>
4. Don’t try to change the other person’s response.</p>
5. Avoid becoming defensive or providing lengthy explanations for your decision. If you are having trouble being hard, it is fine to say something simple like “I’m not sure why, but I’m just not comfortable doing that.”</p>
6. Try to stay calm and low key, even if the other person reacts strongly. Intensity escalates anxiety.</p>
Changing an old pattern that may have roots in many generations is possible but not easy. You probably will feel guilty. But guilt is not terminal and will eventually subside. And saying no brings with it the possibility of next time saying yes with a lighter heart.</p>
Finally, consider that your difficulty saying no, although admittedly a problem, may also reflect your kindness and generosity of spirit, qualities the world needs more of. Few things are all good or all bad.</p>
Ky artikull eshte marre nga: http://www.datingcare.com/?p=75. Per me shume artikuj te ngjashem vizitoni: http://www.datingcare.com/?p=75